BV  4012 
Warelng, 
1944. 
Critical 
Preacher 


W3 

Ernest  Clyde, 

hours  in  the 
s  life 


1872 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 
in  2019  with  funding  from 
Princeton  Theological  Seminary  Library 


https://archive.org/details/criticalhoursinpOOware 


CRITICAL  HOURS 
IN  THE  PREACHER’S  LIFE 


ERNEST  CLYDE  WAREING,  d.d.,  litt.d. 


CRITICAL  HOURS  IN 
THE  PREACHER’S  LIFE 


BY 


ERNEST  CLYDE  WAREING,  D.D.,  Litt.D. 


editor  of  The  Western  Christian  Advocate 
author  of  “Christianity’s  unifying  fundamental,” 
“the  evangelism  of  jesus” 


NEW 

GEORGE  H. 


YORK 


DORAN  COMPANY 


COPYRIGHT,  1923, 


BY  GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 


CRITICAL  HOURS  IN  THE  PREACHER^  LIFE. 


PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  OF  AMERICA 


II 


TO  MY  SON 


JOEL  MATLOCK  WAREING 

WHO  SEEKS  TO  BE  A  GOOD  MINISTER 
OF  JESUS  CHRIST 


PREFACE 


It  may  be  of  interest  to  my  readers  to  know 
the  source  of  this  little  volume.  It  was  not  born 
after  months  of  incubation.  It  sprang  into  be¬ 
ing  in  a  day.  It  came  up  from  the  depths  of  a 
thought  life  that  had  been  deeply  stirred.  It 
appeared  as  though  born  out  of  the  fire  of  a 
deep  passion  of  conviction.  It  found  its  incep- 
tion,  not  in  the  intellectual  life,  through  any 
analytical  process,  but  in  the  repeated  wound¬ 
ing  of  the  heart,  by  the  failure  of  those  whom 
I  had  known  to  love  and  to  trust.  During  the 
past  six  years  I  have  seen  almost  a  score  of  min¬ 
isters  fall  from  the  heights  of  spiritual  leader¬ 
ship  to  the  depths  of  shame  and  disgrace.  Many 
of  these  have  been  my  personal  acquaintances, 
some  of  them  my  familiar  friends. 

Accompanying  this  experience  came  the  in¬ 
formation  given  to  the  public  of  the  great  rav¬ 
ages  that  were  being  made  upon  the  ministry 
during  and  immediately  following  the  war,  by 
moral  breakdown.  That  record  is  so  appalling 


Vll 


viii  Preface 

that  no  one  would  take  pleasure  in  discussing  it 
or  in  displaying  a  desire  to  exploit  it,  feeling 
that  it  had  better  be  forgotten  than  in  the  least  > 
remembered.  In  the  hour  of  suffering  which  this 
realization  produced  came  the  appeal  to  my  soul 
in  behalf  of  the  spiritual  integrity  of  the  Chris¬ 
tian  ministry.  This  cry  would  not  be  quieted. 
It  called  out  from  the  deep  resources  of  mem¬ 
ory  the  record  of  the  spiritual  life  of  at  least 
twenty  of  the  world’s  greatest  preachers  with 
whom  I  had  become  acquainted  by  reading  their 
biographies.  Viewing  their  achievements  and 
the  magnitude  of  their  characters  as  they  stand 
in  the  altitudes,  silhouetting  themselves  on  the 
promontories  of  eminence  against  the  back¬ 
ground  of  eternity,  one  discovers  the  secret  of 
their  greatness.  Any  one  may  read  and  learn 
thereby.  The  contrast  between  those  heights 
and  the  struggling  minister  who  suddenly  turns 
and  is  precipitated  to  the  depths  where  tragedy 
awaits  him,  working  his  ruin,  produces  a  shock 
from  which  a  sensitive  soul  cannot  readily  re¬ 
cover.  There  is  a  depth  to  which  a  minister  may 
fall,  where  his  ignominy  is  more  distressing  than 
the  ravages  of  physical  pain,  where  his  condem¬ 
nation  is  more  searching  than  that  given  unto 


Preface  ix 

any  other  man.  His  cry  from  the  depths  when 
he  comes  to  himself  is  more  pathetic  than  that 
of  a  fallen  angel.  Unless  God  goes  to  his  relief, 
there  is  no  possible  restoration.  Out  of  this 
vision  of  wreckage  and  tragedy  during  the  criti¬ 
cal  hours  of  a  minister’s  life  came  the  following 
discussion. 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 


PART  I:  A  CRY  FROM  THE  DEPTHS  .  15 

A  Young  Minister  in  Distress  .  .  .  .  15 

I  BITTER  SELF-DEFENSE  .  .  .  17 

II  CHECKMATED  BY  TEAM-MATES  .  .  29 

III  BITTER  RESENTMENT  ....  40 

IV  BITTER  ACKNOWLEDGMENT  .  .  .  50 

PART  II:  LOOKING  INTO  THE  DEPTHS  .  63 

Perils  of  Present  Day  Ministry  .  .  .  63 

I  WHEN  MINISTERS  FALL  ....  67 

n  THE  CRITICAL  HOURS  .  .  •  .  71 

The  Moral  Crisis  .  .  .  .  75 

The  Intellectual  Crisis  .  .  .  .  83 

The  Spiritual  Crisis  ....  90 

The  Vocational  Crisis  .  95 

m  THE  PRESENT  CRITICAL  MOMENT  .  105 

PART  III:  ESCAPE  FROM  THE  DEPTHS  .  115 

The  Young  Minister  Recovers  Faith  115 

I  OVER  A  LONG  TRAIL  .  .  .  .121 

II  DISCOVERY  OF  JESUS  CHRIST  .  .  135 

m  DISCOVERY  OF  THE  HOLY  SPIRIT  .  .145 

IV  DISCOVERY  OF  CHRISTIANITY  .  .  155 

PART  IV:  THE  LEVEL  OF  DELIVERANCE  .  169 


PART  I:  A  CRY  FROM  THE 

DEPTHS 


a0  thou  that  holdest  the  stars  in  thy  right  hand  and 
walkest  in  the  midst  of  the  golden  candlesticks.  Thou 
hast  spoken  in  thy  mercy  to  me.  And  thou  hast  given 
me  an  ear  to  hear  thy  merciful  words  toward  me.  Lord, 
I  repent.  At  thy  call  I  repent.  I  repent  of  many  things 
in  my  ministry  at  Ephesus.  But  of  nothing  so  much  as 
of  my  restraint  of  secret  prayer.  This  has  been  my  be¬ 
setting  sin.  This  has  been  the  worm  at  the  root  of  all  my 
mistakes  and  misfortunes  in  my  ministry.  This  has  been 
my  blame.  Oh,  spare  me  according  to  thy  word.  Oh, 
suffer  me  a  little  longer  that  I  may  yet  serve  thee.  What 
profit  is  there  in  my  blood?  Shall  the  dead  hold  com¬ 
munion  with  thee?  Shall  the  grave  of  a  castaway  min¬ 
ister  redound  honor  to  thee?  Restore  thou  my  soul. 
Restore  once  more  to  me  the  joy  of  thy  salvation,  then 
will  I  teach  transgressors  thy  w^ays  and  sinners  shall  be 
converted  unto  thee.  The  sacrifices  of  God  are  a  broken 
spirit;  a  broken  and  a  contrite  heart,  0  God,  thou  wilt 
not  despise.” 


Alexander  Whyte. 


Part  I:  A  Cry  from  the 
Depths 

A  Young  Minister  in  Distress 

The  church  is  very  closely  related  to  the 
world.  They  move  forward  side  by  side.  They 
acquire  and  share  together.  In  the  hours  of 
wisdom  they  recognize  the  laws  of  mutuality. 
What  affects  one  influences  the  other.  When 
the  world  passes  through  its  cycles  of  prosperity, 
decline,  depression  and  improvement,  the  church 
goes  with  it.  In  the  depths  of  depression  their 
problems  are  the  same.  On  the  heights  of  pros¬ 
perity  they  diverge  and  differ  greatly.  But 
when  the  struggle  is  intensified  midst  falling 
prices  and  unemployment,  when  pessimism  be¬ 
gets  conservatism  and  caution  counsels  re¬ 
trenchment,  then  they  converge  until  they  move 
in  the  same  direction  and  by  parallel  courses. 
Explain  it  as  we  will,  by  the  law  of  association 
as  related  to  one  common  interest — human  in¬ 
terests  and  values, — by  the  law  of  action  and 

reaction,  by  the  unvarying  operation  of  the  law 

15 


16  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

of  gravitation,  there  still  remains  the  fact  that 
the  church  is  caught  up  by  the  processes  that 
influence  the  world  and  is  suddenly  made  to 
face  the  tragedy  of  circumstances  over  which  it 
has  no  control  and  for  which  it  is  not  responsible. 

I  was  discussing  this  subject  with  a  young 
minister  who  was  passing  through  the  experience 
of  depression,  pessimism,  and  bitter  disappoint¬ 
ment.  He  had  resolved  to  leave  the  ministry. 
We  were  arguing  from  one  point  to  another 
when,  suddenly,  as  if  exasperated,  he  exclaimed, 
“Nevertheless,  I  am  done.  I  have  had  enough. 
I  have  received  the  jolt  of  disillusionment.  I 
shall  leave  the  ministry  at  the  earliest  moment.” 

That  seemed  to  be  a  final  decision.  The  im¬ 
pulse  of  an  emotion  colored  with  bitterness  ac¬ 
centuated  it.  He  had  not  spoken  of  it  after 
serious  consideration  but  in  the  heat  of  a  hot 
heart.  It  reflected  rashness.  It  revealed  an 
impetuous  impatience.  I  could  not  afford  to 
permit  such  a  resolution  to  go  unchallenged. 
Our  conversation  had  been  general  and  dis- 
coursive,  evading  decided  disagreement  for  fear 
of  an  unpleasant  argument.  I  determined  it 
should  become  directly  personal  and  convince 
him,  if  possible,  that  he  was  making  a  mistake. 


I 


BITTER  SELF-DEFENSE 

He  sat  opposite  me  at  my  desk.  He  was 
white  of  lip  and  restless  as  one  caught  by  sinister 
forces.  He  saw  no  other  way  out  of  his  diffi¬ 
culty.  He  could  not  go  forward  and  see  it 
through  with  the  feeling  that  the  way  would 
clear.  There  was  a  mystery  about  it  we  could 
not  fathom.  Something  had  blasted  the  fair 
flower  of  his  ministry  before  he  had  finished  a 
dozen  years  in  its  service.  He  was  university 
and  seminary  trained,  the  honor  man  of  his 
class.  He  had  given  the  best  promise  of  suc¬ 
cess  and  had  made  a  place  for  himself  that  had 
an  outlook  toward  usefulness  in  the  most  out¬ 
standing  fields  of  service.  Scarcely  thirty-seven 
years  of  age  and  he  had  finished. 

“What  has  happened,”  I  asked,  “that  makes 
you  resolve  to  change  the  course  of  your  life? 
Do  you  know  what  it  means  to  say  that  you  are 
going  to  leave  the  ministry?  The  ministry  is 
not  something  a  man  can  abandon  without  some 

feeling  that  the  church  and  God  have  released 

17 


18  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

him.  Have  you  conferred  with  the  church? 
Have  you  prayed  over  this  until  you  feel  that 
God  has  annulled  your  ordination  and  released 
you  from  the  obligations  that  were  placed  upon 
you  when  you  dedicated  your  life  to  his  minis¬ 
try?” 

The  young  man  looked  at  me  quizzically  and 
replied,  “I  always  expect  that  kind  of  talk.  It 
is  a  spiritual  palliative  I  dislike.  It  is  a  species 
of  cant  for  which  I  have  little  regard.  There  is 
so  much  religious  unreality  these  days.  I  have 
no  use  for  it.  When  a  man  gets  enough  of  any¬ 
thing,  if  he  is  sensible,  if  he  is  honest,  he  will 
acknowledge  it.  If  he  is  wise  he  will  terminate 
his  relation  with  it.  I  have  been  disillusioned. 
I  have  been  undeceived.  I  have  not  been  a 
spiritual  gourmand  seeking  always  to  delight  a 
tickled  palate  with  delicious  and  delectable  emo¬ 
tional  experiences.  I  have  not  sought  to  drown 
doubts  and  misgivings  in  spiritual  intoxications. 
It  seems  that  is  what  is  required.  I  have  re¬ 
solved  to  be  sane  and  sound  and  at  all  times 
reasonable.  If  I  cannot  continue  to  be,  I  have 
determined  what  to  do, — act  in  the  light  of  my 
best  knowledge  and  highest  resolution!” 

With  this  further  confession  I  saw  him 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  19 

slightly  give  in  his  nervous  tension.  The  stiff¬ 
ness  he  had  manifested  receded  and  a  softness 
came  into  his  voice.  Traces  of  regret  appeared. 
I  found  myself  looking  into  the  face  of  a  young 
man  who  had  suffered  deeply  because  he  had 
discovered  that  the  Christian  ministry  was  not 
what  he  had  thought  it  to  be.  There  he  sat  be¬ 
fore  me  with  the  full  flush  of  youth  upon  him. 
He  had  scarcely  gotten  started  upon  his  life 
journey.  He  had  not  struck  his  pace.  He  had 
seen  what  appeared  to  be  an  opening  before 
him.  He„had  entered  with  great  anticipations. 
He  had  run  a  few  paces,  slowed  up,  looked 
around  and  succumbed  to  misgivings  when  he 
discovered  that  the  rich  things  he  had  expected 
to  acquire,  and  all  the  happiness  he  had  fore¬ 
seen,  and  all  the  wonderful  achievements  he 
had  been  assured  he  would  attain,  were  but  a 
dream. 

Obviously,  it  would  be  difficult  to  get  back 
into  his  life  and  locate  the  cause  of  his  trouble, 
since  spiritual  diagnosis  requires  the  most  tact¬ 
ful  penetration.  There  was  some  fundamental 
reason  for  this  experience  through  which  he  was 
passing.  It  might  not  be  found  in  himself,  but 
possibly  in  his  training.  His  ideas  of  what 


20  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

the  ministry  is  might  be  incorrect.  I  resolved  to 
discover  the  source  of  his  disaffection  and  do 
what  I  could  to  save  him  from  the  early  wreck¬ 
ing  of  his  spiritual  life. 

“What  led  you  to  enter  the  ministry?”  I 
asked.  “You  have  not  gone  far  enough  to  have 
generated  that  force  which  maintains  men  on 
high  levels,  for,  if  you  had,  it  would  not  have 
so  soon  spent  itself.” 

“I  received,”  he  replied,  -the  impression  that 
led  to  my  decision  to  enter  the  ministry  in  my 
early  teens.  I  had  not  had  a  chance  to  come  to 
any  understanding  about  the  various  activities 
that  appeal  to  the  energies  of  youth.  I  was 
worked  upon  by  influences  that  laid  hold  of  me 
before  I  had  a  chance  to  think  for  myself  and 
to  establish  the  least  valuation  of  the  other 
walks  of  life.” 

“Do  you  mean  to  say,”  I  questioned,  seeking 
to  keep  him  going,  “that  you  were  taken  advan¬ 
tage  of  and  that  before  you  started  on  your 
life  course  that  you  were  seized  upon  and  in¬ 
fluenced  by  situations  that  denied  you  the 
chance  to  get  the  broadest  view  of  life?” 

“I  am  prone  to  think  that  very  thing,”  he  as¬ 
serted  quickly.  “If  I  had  not  been  forced  to  a 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  21 

decision  so  early  in  my  youth,  I  would  not  be 
suffering  the  experience  through  which  I  am 
now  passing.” 

This  was  a  confession  that  carried  with  it  an 
element  of  regret  I  did  not  believe  went  deep 
into  his  soul.  He  spoke,  however,  almost  with 
rancor,  which  made  me  feel  that  he  himself 
verily  believed  that  he  was  making  no  mistake 
in  the  interpretation  of  his  own  feeling. 

“But  do  you  not  think,”  I  urged,  “that  your 
life  decision  followed  along  the  line  your  natural 
talents  and  instincts  and  tastes  would  have  led 
you?  Even  though  you  had  been  given  the  op¬ 
portunity  to  wait  until  the  mature  years  of 
your  early  twenties  before  you  made  your  de¬ 
cision,  do  you  not  believe  you  would  have  chosen 
the  same  course?” 

“No,  I  cannot  look  at  it  that  way,”  he  con¬ 
fessed.  “I  am  by  nature  religious.  I  was  nur¬ 
tured  in  a  Christian  home.  I  was  taught  by  re¬ 
ligious  instructors  and  the  whole  spiritual  side 
of  my  life  was  placed  under  such  strong  develop¬ 
ment  that  the  wide  view  was  not  offered  me.  I 
can  look  back  at  it  now  and  see  very  plainly  how 
I  was  held  by  circumstances  and  environment  to 
the  course  I  took.  It  was  almost  impossible  for 


22  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

me  to  will  to  do  otherwise.  I  was  held  under 
the  influence  of  formative  forces  over  which  I 
had  no  control.  When  a  man  is  born  with  a  re¬ 
ligious  nature  and  endowed  with  spiritual  in¬ 
stincts  and  is  seized  upon  by  religious  educa¬ 
tional  methods  that  rapidly  develop  him  into 
taking  positions  and  committing  himself  to  de¬ 
cisions  that  determine  the  entire  course  of  his 
life,  when  he  comes  to  himself,  he  will  feel  there 
was  an  element  of  unfairness  about  it  that  he 
cannot  avoid  resenting.  I  feel  this  most  pro¬ 
foundly.  I  do  not  know  why  it  has  come  over 
me,  but  I  have  an  apprehension  that  I  have  been 
wronged.  You  asked  me  why  I  entered  the  min¬ 
istry.  It  was  inevitable  from  my  training.  I 
might  have  taken  another  course  if  I  had  been 
given  time.  I  feel  that  I  have  been  defeated  in 
the  first  maneuver  of  my  life.  The  ideals  which 
once  fired  my  spiritual  and  intellectual  aspira¬ 
tions  have  given  way.  The  sun  that  brightened 
my  path  has  been  darkened  at  noonday.” 

There  was  a  note  in  the  young  man’s  voice 
that  made  me  feel  he  was  misinterpreting  his 
own  religious  experience.  It  was  an  opportunity 
for  me  to  approach  his  trouble  from  a  different 
angle  and  uncover  it  in  the  light  of  another  in- 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  23 

terpretation  long  held  by  the  church  and  cher¬ 
ished  by  ministers  who  have  found  the  greatest 
satisfaction  in  being  “good  ministers  of  Jesus 
Christ.” 

“You  have  not  answered  my  question,  Why 
did  you  enter  the  ministry?  You  have  tried  to 
explain  the  processes  through  which  you  passed. 
I  want  to  know  if  you  look  upon  the  ministry 
as  a  profession  and  a  vocation,  or  as  a  calling. 
These  questions  are  fundamental  and  in  their 
answer  may  be  discovered  the  source  of  your 
present  perplexity  and  spiritual  darkness. 
Surely  you  do  not  believe  any  less  in  the  spirit¬ 
ual  life,  or  in  the  intellectual  life,  or  in  the  prin¬ 
ciples  of  the  Christian  religion  by  this  decision 
you  have  made,  do  you?” 

“You  have  asked  me  a  very  searching  ques¬ 
tion,”  he  replied.  “I  have  not  raised  it  with 
myself.  Since  you  do,  I  shall  register  now  this 
confession  that  I  shall  not  release  any  of  my 
faith  in  my  former  or  present  ideals  though 
they  have  lost  their  influence  over  me.  I  cer¬ 
tainly  believe  in  everything  I  accepted  before. 
I  have  somehow  lost  faith  in  the  decision  that 
led  me  to  give  myself  to  the  ministry.  My  con¬ 
fidence  has  been  shattered  in  my  own  ability  to 


24  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

be  what  I  thought  I  could  be  in  an  eminent  and 
successful  way.” 

“But  do  you  believe  that  the  ministry  is  a 
profession  or  a  calling?”  I  insisted. 

“I  certainly  believe  it  is  a  profession,”  he  re¬ 
plied.  “When  I  started  out  I  remember  very 
plainly  that  the  matter  of  the  ministry  was  first 
presented  to  me  as  a  calling.  I  rejected  that 
conception  as  emotional  and  sentimental,  an  ar¬ 
ticle  in  an  out-grown  creed.  Somehow  I  pos¬ 
sessed  the  idea  that  I  had  a  life  to  invest,  that  I 
had  a  certain  wealth  of  nature  and  native  re¬ 
sources,  certain  talents,  that  I  wanted  to  place 
at  the  best  advantage,  for  the  largest  possible 
results,  both  to  myself  and  mankind.  Being  by 
nature  religious,  when  the  ministry  was  held  up 
to  me  I  was  easily  convinced  that  it  would  af¬ 
ford  the  most  productive  field  for  the  invest¬ 
ment  of  my  life.  Why  should  I  not  look  upon 
the  ministry  as  an  investment?  The  most  ap¬ 
pealing  thing  to  a  man  in  his  youth  is  the  in¬ 
vestment  of  his  life.  If  he  has  any  conception 
of  what  it  means  to  live  and  move  among  men 
he  will  base  his  great  decision  upon  investment 
returns,  for  that  is  the  most  outstanding  prin¬ 
ciple  of  modern  life.  To  blindly  decide  to  live 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  25 

your  life  without  thinking  of  the  returns  that 
will  come  from  your  labor,  your  enthusiasm, 
your  devotion  and  the  exercise  of  your  talents, 
is  the  culmination  of  foolishness.  Investment 
means  returns.  The  larger  these  are  the  more 
a  man  gets  out  of  life.” 

“Yes,  it  may  seem  wise  to  look  upon  the 
ministry  as  a  field  in  which  to  invest  your  life,” 
I  agreed.  “That  may  seem  a  most  commend¬ 
able  action  of  an  unselfish  personality.  A  man 
may  take  a  certain  pride  in  going  out  and  lay¬ 
ing  down- his  life  with  the  idea  of  investing  it 
for  the  good  of  others.  That  is  a  trait  of  youth. 
It  is  one  of  the  first  impulses  that  come  when 
we  awaken  to  the  larger  value  of  human  destiny. 
But  your  confession  this  morning  proves  that  it 
is  one  of  our  most  perilous  conceptions  of  the 
Christian  ministry.  According  to  your  testi¬ 
mony  your  investment  has  not  brought  returns. 
You  are  seeking  to  withdraw  it.  You  have  lost 
faith  in  it.  You  are  not  getting  what  you  ex¬ 
pected  from  it.  If  you  were  compounding  in¬ 
terest,  or  even  if  you  were  receiving  only  the 
legal  rate,  you  perhaps  would  be  satisfied;  but 
you  have  made  your  investment,  you  have 
waited  for  its  maturity  and  you  are  now  con- 


26  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

fessing  to  not  having  received  the  returns  you 
expected.  Why  have  you  been  brought  to  this 
decision?  How  did  you  come  to  see  that  the 
investment  was  not  a  good  one?  Surely  you  do 
not  consider  the  ministry  ‘wild-cat’  stock?  Cer¬ 
tainly  you  will  not  say  that  the  ministry  is  an 
involvement  of  a  man’s  life.  Other  men  have 
made  this  investment,  if  you  want  to  look  at  it 
in  that  light.  It  has  brought  such  returns  as  to 
make  them  bear  witness  at  the  end  of  life  that 
if  they  had  the  chance  to  choose  again,  they 
would  not  hesitate  to  give  themselves  to  the 
Christian  ministry.  But  the  points  of  interest 
for  us  now  should  be  whether  these  men  look 
upon  it  as  an  investment  or  a  calling,  and  what 
has  brought  you  to  this  conclusion,  that  you 
have  made  a  bad  bargain;  and  determine  what 
has  forced  you  to  the  conviction  that  the  minis¬ 
try  as  a  profession  cannot  compete  with  other 
professions  in  its  appeal  to  a  young  man  of  un¬ 
usual  parts  as  he  seeks  to  work  out  his  life  pro¬ 
gram.” 

“You  are  taking  an  undue  advantage  of  my 
position,”  he  interjected.  “You  are  driving  my 
characterization  too  hard.  The  ministry  should 
be  an  investment,  in  that  it  should  have  its  com- 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  27 

pensations,  its  returns  in  which  a  man  can  find 
pleasure  and  not  feel  that  he  is  in  a  losing  en¬ 
terprise.” 

“Is  it  not  possible  that  you  may  be  wrong, 
entirely  wrong,  in  your  conception?”  I  urged. 
“How  do  the  words  of  our  Lord  read?  He 
talked  not  of  profits,  but  much  of  losses.  ‘He 
that  loseth  his  life  for  my  sake’  is  known  to  us 
all,  but  very  infrequently  practiced.  No  man 
in  the  sight  of  Christ  is  justified  in  withholding 
his  life  on  the  basis  of  returns  to  himself.  He 
must  count  his  life  as  naught,  if  he  desires  com¬ 
mendation.  He  must  look  upon  his  life  as  some¬ 
thing  to  be  thrown  away,  as  something  to  be 
sacrificed,  something  to  be  drawn  upon  to  save 
others  who  are  being  ruined.  He  must  train 
himself  to  behold  others  prospering  at  his  ex¬ 
pense.  ‘Except  a  grain  of  wheat  fall  into  the 
ground  and  die,  it  abideth  alone.’  That  is  fun¬ 
damental.  Willingness  to  perish,  to  die,  to  re¬ 
turn  to  the  dust  that  another  may  spring  up  in 
his  place,  that  is  the  attitude  of  the  Christian 
minister.” 

“Yes,”  he  contended,  “but  there  is  an  element 
of  investment  in  that.” 

“An  element  of  sacrificial  service,”  I  insisted. 


28  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

“No  returns  to  the  man  himself.  You  are  not 
following  the  lead  of  Christ  in  your  conception 
of  the  ministry.” 

“That  is  frank,  on  your  part,”  he  answered 
gravely.  “Do  you  mean  to  say  that  I  have  not 
the  Christian  point  of  view?” 

“I  mean  to  say,”  was  my  reply,  “that  it  is 
very  easy  to  be  mistaken,  for  a  man  to  think  he 
has  Christ’s  point  of  view  when  he  has  a  very 
human  conception  of  the  most  sacred  things  of 
life.  If  this  is  the  origin  of  your  trouble  it  can 
surely  be  easily  disposed  of.  Pardon  me,  if  I 
claim  you  have  been  misled  and  need  to  be  in¬ 
formed.  You  are  on  the  wrong  track.  You 
need  to  be  started  right.” 

“Perhaps  you  know  better  than  I  do  what  my 
trouble  is,”  he  conceded,  “but  I  have  my  reser¬ 
vations,  my  misgivings,  my  doubts.  You  have 
not  touched  the  surface.  You  think  you  have 
made  quite  a  point.  The  perplexities  lie  farther 
back.” 

“Let  us  get  at  them,”  I  urged,  “and  not  stop 
until  we  have  dealt  with  them  in  the  light  of 
what  Christ  has  to  say.  Then  both  of  us  will 
be  happy.  Perhaps  you  can  go  away  into  a  new 
ministerial  life.” 


II 


CHECKMATED  BY  TEAM-MATES 

He  seemed  to  be  eager  to  continue  by  a  show 
of  reluctance  to  leave.  He  shifted  his  seat  and 
appeared  to  settle  down  for  another  effort  to 
get  at  what  hid  itself  away  in  the  background 
of  his  life. 

“The  thing  I  daily  resent/’  he  began,  “is  that 
a  man  in  the  ministry  is  constantly  confronted 
by  the  difficulty  of  doing  what  he  ought  to  do. 
He  is  checkmated.  He  is  opposed  by  narrow¬ 
minded  people.  He  is  not  supported  by  the 
other  ministers  in  the  community.  He  cannot 
get  team  work  on  their  part.  He  receives  sus¬ 
picion  instead  of  cooperation.” 

“This  is  surely  a  new  angle  to  your  difficulty,” 
I  responded.  “Perhaps  there  is  your  trouble. 
You  have  been  defeated  in  realizing  your  ideals 
and  the  cause  has  not  been  in  you  any  more 
than  perhaps  in  a  situation  with  which  you 
have  lost  patience.  You  have  become  discour¬ 
aged.” 

“I  do  not  know  as  to  that,”  he  continued, 

29 


30  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

“but  this  is  a  fact.  A  well-trained  man,  giving 
himself  to  the  modern  program  of  the  church 
will  be  beset  by  difficulties  almost  insurmount¬ 
able.  His  own  members  will  refuse  to  give  him 
sympathetic  support.  They  are  frequently  dull 
in  their  perceptions  of  what  the  world  demands 
of  the  church.  They  are  apathetic  toward  their 
pastor’s  appeal  to  make  the  church  not  only  a 
religious  but  a  social  force  in  the  community. 
It  may  appear  strange  but  a  man  has  to  fight  to 
do  people  good.  He  has  to  enlighten  them  re¬ 
peatedly  against  their  wills.  After  giving  him¬ 
self  in  unstinted  service  in  their  behalf  the  re¬ 
sponse  is  so  meager  as  not  only  to  discourage 
him  but  to  aggravate  him  into  refusing  to  give 
himself  further  in  their  behalf.  This  is  not  only 
my  opinion.  Many  others  could  be  found  whose 
experience  is  similar  to  mine.  If  I  could  do 
what  I  desire  for  the  church  where  I  am  pastor, 
I  would  make  out  of  it  one  of  the  greatest  in¬ 
fluences  for  good  in  the  community.  But 
worldly-minded  men  and  frivolous-minded 
women,  too  frequently,  not  only  refuse  to  give 
themselves  to  the  larger  program  of  the  modern 
church  but  oppose  it  with  determined  influence. 
But  this  is  not  half  the  situation.  One  might 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  31 

bring  himself  to  bear  this  by  deciding  it  was 
part  of  his  duty  to  bring  these  men  and  women 
around  to  his  point  of  view  and  if  he  did  not,  to 
take  it  more  as  his  fault  than  theirs.  But  an¬ 
other  aggravation  more  serious  and  irritating  is 
the  attitude  other  ministers  take  toward  you  if 
your  aggressiveness  in  the  least  encroaches 
upon  the  entire  community.  Let  a  young  man, 
highly  trained  and  prepared  to  give  the  widest 
possibly  ministry  go  into  such  a  community  and 
it  will  not  be  long  until  he  discovers  that  his 
larger  service  is  not  welcome  because  it  inter¬ 
feres  with  others.  If  he  is  trained  in  religious 
education,  so  that  he  could  lead  the  community 
movements,  if  he  succeeds  in  formulating  a  plan 
in  which  all  could  cooperate,  if  he  in  the  least 
shows  a  superior  training  and  an  ability  that  will 
give  him  the  least  advantage  he  runs  into  the 
jealousy  of  other  ministers  who  oppose  him  at 
every  opportunity.  A  young  aggressive  pastor 
with  ability  to  lead  and  with  training  that  makes 
him  expert  will  find  that  the  tendency  is  to  nar¬ 
row  him  to  his  denominational  activities  and  to 
deny  him  those  expansive  opportunities  that 
work  for  the  good  of  the  whole  community.” 

“So  this  is  what  you  regard  as  a  professional 


32  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

limitation  in  the  ministry,”  I  replied.  “Don’t 
you  realize  that  this  is  the  experience  of  all  pro¬ 
fessional  men?  It  is  true  of  the  expert  in  medi¬ 
cine,  or  law,  or  politics.  Men  everywhere  must 
suffer  the  demands  of  competition.  The  man 
who  maintains  himself  in  the  midst  of  it  sur¬ 
vives.  He  who  wearies  and  loses  his  patience 
goes  down  to  defeat.  But  there  is  a  more  seri¬ 
ous  observation.  The  people  do  not  look  upon 
the  ministry  as  a  profession.  They  conceive  of 
it  as  a  sacrificial  ministry.  They  resent  the  least 
appearance  of  professionalism.  To  them  it  is  a 
divine  calling.  If  you  in  your  heart  believe  it 
to  be  one  thing  and  by  the  demands  for  con¬ 
formity  seek  to  make  it  appear  as  something 
else  in  order  to  avoid  private  censure  you  are 
compelling  yourself  to  live  a  lie.  Furthermore, 
you  must  not  forget  that  the  Christian  ministry 
is  publicly  judged  by  a  different  standard  than 
that  applied  to  the  members  of  the  professions. 
It  is  given  privileges  not  accorded  to  any  other 
class  or  group  in  society.  Also,  it  is  protected 
by  restrictions  that  set  it  apart  and  differentiate 
it  from  all  others.  It  is  judged  by  absolute 
moral  standards.  The  minister  must  live  in  the 
community  without  spot  or  blemish.  He  walks 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  33 

among  his  people  with  a  strong  searchlight  play¬ 
ing  constantly  upon  him.  Its  penetration  is 
never  released  from  his  conduct.  He  must  be 
pure  white.  Gray  morality  with  him  quickly 
passes  into  black  and  announces  his  ruin.  A 
man  may  be  immoral  and  remain  a  doctor  or  a 
lawyer  or  a  financier.  Should  he  become  a  lying 
preacher,  or  a  worldly-minded,  a  profane,  or  a 
lustful,  or  a  thieving,  or  a  double-dealing,  or  a 
deceitful,  or  a  secularized  preacher,  he  gives  the 
community  a  moral  shock  that  dislodges  him 
from  his  high  position  and  sends  him  head-long 
to  the  depths  of  reproach  and  shame.  For  on 
his  altitude  the  one  test  is  character,  is  morality. 
If  he  fails  in  this  he  fails  in  all.  Therefore,  if 
the  ministry  is  a  profession  it  is  of  a  different 
kind  than  that  commonly  accepted  among  men. 
The  ministry  is  not  a  social  performance.  It  is 
not  a  highly  particularized  professional  service. 
It  is  not  a  modified  form  of  secular  occupation 
performed  in  the  name  of  the  great  spiritual 
realities.  Its  duties  do  not  rise  from  human 
conditions  but  from  divine  endowments.  The 
ministry  a  profession?  Young  man,  in  that  con¬ 
ception  lies  the  most  dreadful  peril.  Profession¬ 
alism  is  the  tragedy  of  the  ministry.  The  first 


34  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

appearance  of  it  portends  wreckage.  Beware  of 
it  as  you  would  of  pestilence  and  death!” 

My  earnestness  held  him  as  one  driven  to 
listen.  His  reactions  were  not  perceptible.  I 
felt  impelled  to  continue.  “Your  trouble  is  not 
primarily  in  your  conception  of  the  ministry 
and  the  impulse  that  led  you  into  it.  While 
these  have  made  a  valuable  contribution,  the 
principal  cause  of  your  present  difficulty  is  spir¬ 
itual.  You  confess  to  having  made  a  decision 
that  will  cut  the  line  of  connection  to  your 
highest  aspirations.  That  determination  means 
you  surrender  all  inclination  to  travel  the  paths 
to  the  altitudes  of  your  being.  You  announce 
yourself  as  having  decided  to  settle  on  the  level 
and  to  build  your  house  on  the  approach  to  the 
depths.  If  you  are  precipitated  therein  you 
need  not  be  surprised.  Would  you  face  this 
without  deep  concern?  Why  not  turn  again  and 
seek  to  retrace  your  steps  to  a  more  secure  posi¬ 
tion?  Is  there  not  possibly  a  remote  field  to 
your  ministry  which  you  have  not  seen?  Mani¬ 
festly,  there  is  a  great  extent  of  reserve  that  has 
not  yet  been  made  known  to  you.  What  if  you 
could  discover  that,  after  all,  back  and  beyond 
the  conception  of  the  ministry  as  a  profession 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  35 

and  an  investment,  lies  the  call  of  God,  as  fun¬ 
damental,  ineradicable  and  inevitable?  If  I 
could  convince  you  of  this  would  you  not  sus¬ 
pend  your  ultimate  decision  as  to  changing  the 
course  of  your  life?  There  are  great  spiritual 
realities  that  I  believe  still  lie  beyond  your  most 
vivid  imagination.  If  you  could  be  brought  to 
see  them,  honestly,  sincerely  and  with  a  humble 
heart,  I  think  you  could  be  directed  into  a  path 
where  you  will  be  following  Christ  into  a  most 
satisfactory  and  valuable  ministry.” 

“That  may  be  true,”  he  began,  when  he  saw 
that  I  had  reached  a  conclusion.  “I  have  not 
closed  my  mind  to  further  conviction  and  en¬ 
lightenment.  I  do  not  want  to  acknowledge 
that  I  have  made  a  mistake,  that  I  have  been 
defeated.  I  do  so  with  reluctance.  But  I  have 
all  along  felt  there  is  considerable  religious  sen¬ 
timentalism  in  looking  upon  the  ministry  as  a 
calling.  I  have  thought  that  in  the  realm  of 
reality  the  conception  of  it  as  a  profession  and 
an  investment  was  far  more  appealing  to  the 
growing  mind.  I  shall  not  readily  forsake  this 
position.  I  have  looked  upon  the  ministry  and 
witnessed  its  growth,  as  I  thought,  into  an  ever- 
widening  field.  The  church  looks  upon  the  min- 


36  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

ister  as  preacher,  pastor,  promoter,  prophet, 
propagandist,  pragmatist  and  general  all  round 
pretender  in  the  field  of  the  moral,  religious,  so¬ 
cial  and  intellectual  life.  This  made  a  profound 
impression  and  appeal  to  me.  I  did  not  think 
that  in  this  conception  rested  the  peril  that 
would  work  the  undoing  of  my  idealism.  I  am 
not  now  ready  to  confess  it  has,  but  I  am  forced 
to  acknowledge  disappointment.  I  am  going  to 
have  to  change  my  conception  of  the  minister 
or  abandon  it.  It  seems  I  cannot  avoid  this.  It 
is  the  inevitable,  the  inexorable.” 

This  was  the  confession  I  had  sought  to  draw 
from  him.  Now  I  dared  go  further  in  my 
probing. 

“Have  you  thought  that  other  men  have  re¬ 
mained  in  the  ministry  though  they  suffered  a 
similar  experience?  Have  you  read  ministerial 
biographies?  Do  you  know  of  the  struggles 
through  which  men  of  great  spiritual  power  pass 
and  how  they  remain  unto  the  end  faithful  and 
true?  Do  you  have  any  inner  impression  that 
you  ought  not  to  do  this  thing,  that  you  cannot 
under  God  afford  to  turn  your  back  upon  his 
ministry?  Do  you  ever  have  a  sense  of  a  sink¬ 
ing  of  heart  and  a  darkening  of  mind  and  a  feel- 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  37 

ing  of  impending  tragedy  should  you  carry  out 
your  resolve?  The  man  whom  God  calls  to  his 
service  has  within  him  Paul’s  cry  of  the  spirit, 
‘Woe,  woe  is  me,  if  I  preach  not  his  gospel!’  ” 

“No,  I  cannot  say  that  I  have  had  that  ex¬ 
perience,”  was  his  frank  reply.  “My  regret 
comes  from  the  fact  that  I  have  been  check¬ 
mated,  that  I  have  suffered  defeat,  that  I  have 
not  been  appreciated,  that  I  have  not  succeeded. 
I  am  now  more  perplexed  by  what  I  am  going 
to  do  ^ith  my  life  than  I  am  over  the  raising  of 
that  emotional  question.  I  have  looked  upon 
that  conception  as  not  being  a  worthy  motive. 
That  will  do  for  an  uneducated  man.  That 
served  a  purpose  perhaps  for  a  former  genera¬ 
tion  but  to  say  that  the  minister  ‘is  called’  is  lo 
throw  the  whole  matter  into  the  realm  of  such 
unreality  that  all  lovers  of  reasonable  truth 
must  refuse  to  accept  it.” 

I  saw  no  other  way  to  force  him  out  of  the 
position  he  had  taken  than  that  of  compelling 
him  to  face  the  implications  of  his  own  confes¬ 
sion.  “You  have  unconsciously  revealed  your 
ministerial  motive,”  I  insisted.  “You  confess 
that  your  regret  comes  from  the  feeling  that  you 
have  been  checkmated  and  from  the  realization 


38  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

that  you  have  suffered  defeat.  Your  trouble  is 
where  I  expected  to  find  it.  Will  you  permit 
me  to  say  it  without  hesitation,  even  though  it 
may  not  sound  in  the  least  courteous?  Your 
ministry  is  ego-centric.  You  have  been  check¬ 
mated.  You  have  suffered  defeat.  That  is  what 
hurts.  That  is  what  makes  the  wound.  You — 
ego — checkmated,  defeated.  You  invested  and 
lost.  You  committed  yourself  and  have  been 
disappointed.  You  took  a  chance.  You  played 
for  margins.  You  gambled  on  an  uncertain 
outcome.  You — Ego — You — you  have  been 
‘cleaned  out’  by  the  forces  against  which 
you  wagered  your  powers.  When  the  proc¬ 
ess  of  the  ‘Ins  and  Outs’  and  the  ‘Ups  and 
Downs’  began,  you  lost  and  ran  for  cover. 
You  are  now  suffering  the  pangs  of  an 
investor’s  hell.  Perhaps  for  the  first  time  in 
your  life,  you  have  encountered  something 
wrong  from  which  you  need  to  be  saved.  The 
first  impulse  is  to  surrender,  when  you  rather 
should  rise  to  assert  yourself,  calling  upon  all 
your  powers  to  struggle  until  victory  comes. 
Your  deepest  regret  should  be  that  at  a  moment 
of  crisis  you  have  not  been  a  ‘good  minister  of 
Jesus  Christ.’  You  should  be  alarmed,  not  by 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  39 

what  you  think,  not  by  what  you  feel,  but  rather 
by  what  he  thinks  of  your  failure,  by  what  atti¬ 
tude  he  takes  toward  your  let-down.  You  have 
made  the  fundamental  mistake  that  seems  in¬ 
evitable  to  the  man  who  looks  upon  the  ministry 
as  an  investment  and  a  profession.  If  this  were 
all  it  might  not  be  so  deeply  regrettable,  but  the 
acknowledgment  of  this  conception  in  a  crisis 
of  a  minister’s  life,  reveals  that  he  has  a  wrong 
idea  of  what  it  means  to  be  a  Christian.” 

“You  are  going  beyond  the  bounds  of  endur¬ 
ance,”  he  burst  out  resentfully,  “to  claim  that 
I  am  fundamentally  wrong  in  my  conception  of 
the  Christian  life,  as  you  did  about  my  ideas  of 
the  fundamental  interpretation  of  the  ministry. 
It  is  presumptuous  and  unkind.  I  resent  it. 
Fair  dealing,  or  none  at  all,”  he  protested,  wheel¬ 
ing  in  his  chair  as  though  to  leave. 

He  was  perceptibly  moved.  Perhaps  I  had 
gone  too  far,  presumed  too  much,  and  spoiled  my 
advantage.  I  had  aroused  him.  He  was  alert 
emotionally  as  well  as  mentally.  I  had  wounded 
his  self-confidence  and  assaulted  his  scholastic 
conceit.  He  was  inwardly  resisting  the  light. 
However,  he  was  on  the  defensive.  He  could 
not  afford  to  retire  under  fire. 


Ill 


BITTER  RESENTMENT 

“Wait  a  moment,”  I  urged.  “I  beg  your  par¬ 
don.  I  must  go  further.  You  must  hear  me 
through,  even  though  you  do  not  enjoy  or  be¬ 
lieve  what  I  say.  I  must  confess  that  I  am  con¬ 
vinced  that  you  have  not  gotten  down  to  funda¬ 
mentals.  Mark  you,  I  do  not  mean  the  spirit¬ 
ual  life  or  the  religious  life.  I  mean  the  Chris¬ 
tian  life.  A  man  betrays  his  position  when  he 
confesses  that  he  looks  upon  the  ministry  as  a 
profession.  A  man  cannot  preach  the  real 
Gospel  of  Jesus  Christ  unless  he  has  received 
something  from  Christ  to  preach.  Christian 
preaching  should  come  from  a  religious  experi¬ 
ence  based  upon  a  personal  knowledge  of  Jesus 
Christ  as  Saviour  and  Lord.  When  a  man  en¬ 
ters  into  this  experience  there  comes  a  subtle 
spiritual  power  into  his  life  which  gives  the  mes¬ 
sage  he  must  deliver.  It  burns  his  soul.  He  has 
an  urgency  that  impels  him  to  preach  it  and 
press  it  upon  others.  A  man  without  an  experi¬ 
ence  of  being  saved  himself  cannot  preach  the 

40 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  41 

blessings  of  a  Saviour.  A  man  does  not  become 
a  Christian  as  a  matter  of  preference.  What 
high-minded  man  would  not  prefer  to  follow 
Christ  rather  than  to  serve  the  devil?  Any 
scribe  or  Pharisee  might  rise  to  this  level.  Do 
not  even  the  publicans  and  the  sinners  do  the 
same?  There  is  no  merit  in  this.  Preferential 
salvation  is  not  Christian.  It  is  fundamentally 
redemptive.  The  Christian  faith  is  personal. 
It  is  faith  born  in  a  transaction.  It  is  not  the 
committing  one’s  thought  in  assent  to  any  prop¬ 
osition,  but  the  trusting  of  one’s  being  to  a 
Being,  there  to  be  rested,  kept,  guided,  molded, 
governed  and  possessed  forever.  You  do  not 
see  it?  You  smile  at  my  old-fashioned  putting 
of  it?  Listen,  I  cannot  deviate  from  this  course 
of  thought.  Has  it  ever  occurred  to  you  that 
there  is  such  a  thing  as  natural  religion  and  nat¬ 
ural  spirituality  which  manifest  themselves  in 
tastes  and  instincts  that  might  determine  the 
decision  of  a  man  to  enter  the  ministry?  Has  it 
ever  occurred  to  you  that  there  are  religious 
and  spiritual  forces  in  the  world  that  grow  out 
of  man’s  nature?  Have  you  ever  observed  that 
a  man’s  religious  and  spiritual  life  may  be  based 
entirely  upon  the  functioning  of  his  higher  in- 


42  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

stincts  and  may  be  accounted  for  by  the  opera¬ 
tions  of  his  physical  endowments? ” 

“I  would  certainly  answer  these  questions 
with  an  affirmative/’  he  consented,  as  he  saw  I 
was  getting  on  familiar  ground.  “To  me  the 
spiritual  life  is  an  unfolding.  It  has  a  natural 
basis  and  I  do  not  hesitate  to  say  that  I  believe 
in  a  psycho-physiological  spiritual  life.  There 
is  no  need  of  making  room  for  a  third  factor.  I 
have  committed  myself  to  this  with  all  my 
heart.” 

“But  do  you  not  see  the  implications  of  your 
position?”  I  begged.  “That  lowers  Christianity 
to  the  level  of  all  other  religions  and  denies  its 
claim  of  being  something  extra,  distinctive  and 
differentiated.  If  you  are  right  our  belief  that 
God  has  come  across  the  spaces  between  the  ma¬ 
terial  and  spiritual  universes  by  an  incarnation, 
namely  Jesus  Christ,  is  misleading  and  the  con¬ 
tention  that  the  Christian  life  carries  an  ele¬ 
ment  of  supernaturalism  and  spirituality  not 
generated  in  ourselves  is  a  deception.  Let  us 
bear  down  upon  this  point  for  a  moment.  There 
are  religions  in  the  world  that  satisfy  the  nat¬ 
ural  instincts  of  man.  Have  these  not  gathered 
multiplied  millions  of  followers?  We  cannot 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  43 

discount  the  integrity  of  their  appeal.  History 
supports  the  claim  that  they  have  held  nations 
and  races  under  their  control  and  developed  in 
them  distinctive  characteristics.  Is  Christianity 
simply  another  religion?  Is  it  the  culmination 
of  the  spirit  that  is  found  in  all  the  others?  Is 
it  earth-born  or  heaven-given?  Is  it  a  racial,  a 
national,  or  the  one  world  religion?  Is  it  not 
verily  true  that  a  man  can  believe  in  Deity  and 
not  be  a  Christian?  One  can  believe  in  the  God 
of  the  Old  Testament  and  still  not  be  a  Chris¬ 
tian.  He  may  be  a  Hebrew  or  a  Mohammedan. 
Is  it  not  possible  for  a  man  to  be  living  what  he 
considers  the  Christian  life  and  still  not  be  a 
Christian?  May  it  not  be  possible  for  him  to  be 
living  a  religious  life  on  the  level  of  the  Jew  or 
the  Moslem?  Has  it  ever  appeared  to  you  that 
as  Christianity  stands  in  the  midst  of  all  the  re¬ 
ligions  of  the  world  and  especially  those  of  the 
Jehovistic  group  its  chief  claim  is  that  of  a  su¬ 
pernatural  religion?  Jesus  Christ  is  the  issue 
Christianity  creates  among  the  religions  of  the 
world.  It  offers  through  faith  in  him  the  most 
satisfactory  experience  of  God  that  is  possible 
for  the  human  soul.  It  declares  his  centrality  as 
the  finality  of  religious  faith.  It  insists  that  to 


44  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

know  him  by  surrender  of  the  self,  through  ac¬ 
knowledgment  of  moral  alienation  from  God 
brings  an  inner  certainty  and  assurance  that 
passeth  all  understanding.  Shall  we  say  then 
that  the  most  perplexing  question  is,  When  is  a 
man  religious?  Nay,  it  is  rather,  When  is  a  man 
Christian?  This  can  be  answered  by  raising  an¬ 
other  question,  What  did  Christ  come  into  the 
world  to  do?  There  may  be  many  answers,  but 
this  one  must  ultimately  be  accepted,  he  came 
into  the  world  to  save  sinners.  Parry  this  as  we 
may,  tear  it  asunder,  thrust  it  from  us,  substi¬ 
tute  for  it  as  we  are  prone  to  do,  nevertheless, 
the  reason  for  his  coming  is  found  in  the  ravages 
of  sin  among  men.  The  greatest  problem  in 
man’s  life  is  sin.  The  greatest  struggle  is  for 
righteousness.  The  densest  darkness  is  that  of 
iniquity.  The  most  intense  hunger  is  that  for 
the  assurance  of  forgiveness.  Men  soon  find  a 
judgment  day  marked  on  the  calendars  of  their 
souls.  The  great  fear  rises  from  that  anticipa¬ 
tion.  Christianity  claims  that  a  benevolent  and 
gracious  God  has  provided  against  that  awful 
day  by  sending  his  own  son  into  the  world  to 
save  those  who  would  entrust  themselves  to 
him.  Jesus  Christ  came  into  the  world  to  save, 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  45 

to  rescue  and  to  restore,  to  accomplish  forgive¬ 
ness  for  those  who  stand  indited  before  the  bar 
of  their  consciences,  to  exercise  the  power  of  a 
redeemer,  to  enter  into  the  religious  experiences 
of  men  as  proof  that  when  repentant  and  trust¬ 
ing  they  may  by  faith  in  him  find  a  forgiving 
and  helpful  God.  This  is  what  Christianity 
means  in  its  distinctive  teaching.  This  is  what 
it  is  as  differentiated  from  all  other  religions. 
What  then  is  it  to  be  a  Christian?  To  know 
Jesus  Christ  in  a  personal  religious  experience  as 
redeemer  and  Lord.  Can  any  man  be  said  to 
know  him  if  he  has  not  met  him  in  the  forgive¬ 
ness  of  his  sins?  If  he  accepts  the  invitation  to 
the  feast  which  Jesus  Christ  sends  out,  and  re¬ 
sponds  to  it  by  coming  into  the  church  to  enjoy 
all  the  good  things  provided,  can  he  be  said  to 
have  received  all  that  is  intended  if  he  does  not 
meet  the  Master  of  the  Feast  himself?” 

“Yes,  but  now,”  he  arose  to  contend,  “you  are 
getting  back  into  that  field  of  emotional  Chris¬ 
tianity  and  supernatural  religion  that  I  have  set 
aside  as  an  unnecessary  factor  in  the  religious 
life  of  to-day.  Do  you  expect  me  to  believe  that 
my  ministry  has  come  to  its  present  undesirable 
state  because  I  have  not  had  some  stereotyped 


46  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

and  standardized  experience  so  common  in  a 
former  generation?  If  you  do  then  I  must  have 
my  reservations,  if  you  seek  to  get  me  to  com¬ 
mit  myself  to  your  position.  Why  should  man 
approach  Christ  over  the  sin-path?  Why  should 
I  be  compelled  to  think  of  him  always  in  the 
light  of  wrong-doing?  Why  not  think  of  Christ 
as  a  great  example,  as  a  great  soul,  as  a  great 
revelator?  It  is  repellent  to  me  to  think  of  that 
beautiful  life  in  relation  to  the  ugliness  of  sin.” 

“But  do  you  not  realize,”  I  insisted,  “that  at 
the  last  analysis  his  relation  to  every  man  is  on 
this  basis?” 

“I  do  not  accept  that  position,”  he  declared. 
“Why  should  a  man  be  compelled  to  look  upon 
the  fundamental  experience  that  makes  a  man 
Christian  as  being  that  of  the  consciousness  of 
sin?  I  say  that  you  are  trying  to  throw  back 
the  beginning  of  the  Christian  life  upon  an  out¬ 
worn  formula.  Do  you  mean  to  lay  emphasis 
upon  an  emotional  crisis  as  the  beginning  of  the 
Christian  life?” 

“I  mean  to  lay  emphasis  upon  the  fact  that 
the  Christian  life  begins  with  the  consciousness 
of  the  need  of  Christ  as  a  Saviour.  Remember, 
Christian  faith  is  the  faith  of  a  transaction.  I 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  47 

am  driven  to  this  by  the  reading  of  Christ’s 
Word.  All  men  need  him  because  they  are  sin¬ 
ners.  He  did  not  come  to  redeem  some  men 
from  sin  and  be  an  example  and  inspiration  to 
others  because  they  were  not  sinners.  He  came 
to  mankind  because  sin  was  running  in  human 
life  as  a  deep  and  dark  current.  The  Garden  of 
Eden  drama  is  acted  out  in  every  man’s  life.  It 
was  not  given  to  Adam  and  Eve  to  fall  once  and 
for  all.  They  introduced  the  incident  of  a  moral 
fall  into  the  human  life.  That  experience  comes 
to  every  son  of  Adam  from  the  days  of  Abel  to 
the  birth  hour  of  the  last  human  child.  Every 
man  passes  through  the  experience  of  the  fall. 
Therefore  sin  becomes  a  reality  in  every  life.” 

“I  recognize  this  as  an  ancient  conception,” 
he  conceded.  “Do  you  mean  to  force  this  upon 
me  as  fundamental?  Must  I  accept  this  posi¬ 
tion  if  I  am  to  get  your  conception  of  what  it 
means  to  be  a  Christian?  All  men  are  not  sin¬ 
ners.  The  world  does  not  take  Christ’s  duality 
of  the  sheep  and  the  goats  as  true.  That  is  an 
ugly  metaphor  whose  gullibility  lies  within  the 
realm  of  possibility  in  thought  only  for  the  low 
and  vulgar.  We  have  many  people  to-day  who 
are  morally  colorless,  who  live  midway  between 


48  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

right  and  wrong  and  cannot  be  said  to  be  either 
good  or  bad.  In  the  judgment  there  will  be  a 
middle  class  much  larger  than  either  of  the 
other  two  or  perhaps  both.  God  will  not  have 
his  trouble  in  dealing  with  the  wicked,  but  his 
perplexity  will  be  in  disposing  of  those  who  have 
been  neither  good  nor  bad,  black  nor  white, 
sheep  nor  goats.” 

“Yes,  I  am  familiar  with  this  idea,”  I  re¬ 
sponded.  “Kipling  saw  this  great  dilemma  of 
the  moral  universe  and  incorporated  it  in  his 
poem,  Tomlinson/  in  which  he  relates  the 
story  of  a  man  who  was  not  good  enough  for 
Heaven,  nor  bad  enough  for  hell.  But  a  famil¬ 
iarity  with  the  teachings  of  Jesus  obviously  dis¬ 
poses  of  this  problem.  He  did  not  look  upon 
sin  as  a  matter  of  degree.  No  man,  to  him, 
could  be  morally  colorless,  because  in  reality  no 
man  is.  Sin  is  moral  leprosy.  When  is  a  man  a 
leper?  Not  until  the  germ  has  developed  in  him 
and  removed  the  ends  of  his  fingers  and  turned 
the  hair  upon  his  head  white  and  revealed  itself 
by  big  knots  upon  the  back  of  his  neck  and  in 
great  ugly  welts  upon  his  forehead?  A  man  is  a 
leper  when  he  has  one  germ  of  the  disease  in  his 
blood.  He  may  carry  it  for  years.  No  one  may 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  49 

suspect  him  of  having  it  when  suddenly  it  is 
discovered  that  something  is  eating  away  his 
vitality  and  has  been  working  upon  him  imper¬ 
ceptibly  for  years.  A  man  is  a  sinner  when  he 
has  the  germ  of  sin  in  his  life.  He  does  not  need 
to  be  an  outbreaking  sinner  who  shocks  the  com¬ 
munity  and  shames  his  friends.  It  is  the  bacilli 
of  sin  that  makes  a  sinner.  What  this  is  has 
been  the  greatest  theological  problem.  Men 
have  sought  to  segregate  it.  They  have  not  suc¬ 
ceeded.  However,  in  their  efforts  they  have 
gathered  an  accumulation  of  evidence  that  its 
presence  pervades  the  entire  human  race.  They 
have  gained  conclusions  that  support  the  con¬ 
tention  of  the  Holy  Scriptures  that  ‘all  have 
sinned  and  come  short  of  the  glory  of  God.’ 
They  have  even  confirmed  that  word  of  Saint 
John  when  he  wrote,  ‘If  we  say  we  have  not 
sinned,  we  make  him  a  liar  and  his  word  is  not 
in  us.’  ” 

These  are  strong  words.  The  present  day 
thinker  does  not  receive  them  readily.  Indeed 
the  unregenerate  mind,  the  unspiritual  mind,  re¬ 
sents  their  implication,  because  it  looks  upon  sin 
as  a  matter  of  degree  and  does  not  willingly 
acknowledge  turpitude. 


IV 


BITTER  ACKNOWLEDGMENT 

At  this  point  the  young  man  seemed  unable 
to  restrain  himself.  I  had  either  struck  a  sore 
spot  in  his  moral  nature  or  I  had  violated  some 
intellectual  principle  of  his  faith  that  made  him 
resent  almost  violently  what  I  was  saying. 

“I  think  that  conception  an  outrage  against 
the  moral  integrity  of  the  human  race — The  lep¬ 
rosy  of  sin/  ”  he  almost  hissed.  His  irony 
flashed  fire.  “Sin  as  leprosy  in  the  blood  was 
not  a  figure  used  by  Jesus  Christ.  You  seem 
to  be  seeking  to  draw  me  into  the  pit  of  sin. 
You  are  too  personal.  I  do  not  understand  you. 
All  men  have  not  sinned.  What  are  you  seek¬ 
ing  to  do?  You  will  be  calling  me  a  sinner  be¬ 
fore  you  are  through.  Don’t  rob  humanity  of 
its  respectability.  If  you  are  aiming  to  shatter 
my  self-respect  and  brand  me  as  a  wrongdoer  I 
advise  you  to  stop  at  once.” 

Evidently  his  defenses  were  down.  I  was  get¬ 
ting  too  close  home  for  his  comfort.  He  was 

dodging  and  hunting  for  escape.  Something 

50 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  51 

in  him  had  given  way.  He  was  backing  in  the 
direction  I  had  sought  to  push  him.  The  ad¬ 
vantage  was  mine.  I  must  not  stop  until  I  had 
brought  him  to  a  decision  that  he  was  wrong 
and  needed  desperately  that  which  he  had  theo¬ 
retically  preached  unto  others. 

“You  cannot  avoid  it,”  I  went  on,  assuming 
my  former  line  of  thought,  “if  you  seek  to  fol¬ 
low  the  record  of  Scripture.  Sin  and  salvation 
are  conceptions  most  intimately  associated  with 
the  life  and  purpose  of  Jesus  Christ.  No  mat¬ 
ter  who  we  are  and  from  whence  we  come  we 
cannot  separate  ourselves  from  the  need  of  his 
salvation.  There  is  with  many  believers  a  time 
and  a  place  where  they  claim  they  found  saving 
grace.  That  record  on  the  calendar  may  mean 
very  much  but  it  does  not  complete  the  work  of 
Christ  in  and  for  us.  The  work  of  salvation  in 
a  modified  form  must  be  a  continuous  process. 
After  we  have  found  him  or  he  has  rescued  us 
from  the  ravages  of  a  condemning  consciousness 
of  sin,  we  are  constantly  exposed  to  the  experi¬ 
ence  of  being  lost  by  losing.  At  times  we  lose 
our  patience  and  Christ  must  save  us  from  the 
evil  results  of  the  same.  At  other  times  we  lose 
our  faith,  our  courage,  our  hope,  our  confidence, 


52  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

our  love,  our  tolerance,  our  optimism,  our  con¬ 
secration,  our  devotion,  our  intensity,  our  spirit¬ 
uality,  and  Christ  must  save  us  from  the  evil 
results.  For  after  we  have  come  to  know  him 
as  our  Lord  we  are  still  exposed  to  the  possibil¬ 
ity  of  being  lost  again  and  again  by  losing.  Has 
this  truth  ever  confronted  you,  demanding  to  be 
adopted  as  an  article  of  your  faith?  He  gave  us 
this  truth  in  the  story  of  the  prodigal  son  who 
was  separated  from  his  father’s  house  by  losing. 
He  lost  his  regard  for  his  father’s  care.  He  lost 
his  love  for  his  brother,  for  the  home  ties  and 
the  home  restraints.  He  lost  his  appreciation 
of  the  fellowship  of  his  own  kindred.  By  these 
different  processes  of  losing  he  lost  his  place, 
his  patrimony,  his  purity  and  moral  character 
and  found  himself  at  the  last  among  the  swine, 
hungry  and  in  rags.  He  was  lost  by  losing .  We 
do  not  stop  to  ask  why  he  first  began  to  lose. 
The  great  question  with  a  man  who  has  found 
faith  in  Jesus  Christ  is  not,  Have  I  been  saved? 
but  rather,  Am  I  being  saved?  It  is  more  im¬ 
portant  that  a  man  know  he  is  being  saved  from 
the  evil  results  of  losing  than  to  know  that  he 
was  once  upon  a  time  in  the  near  or  the  remote 
past  saved  from  a  lost  estate.  This  is  the  prob- 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  53 

lem  of  the  minister.  He  is  not  of  the  lost,  but 
he  may  be  one  of  those  who  is  suffering  daily 
from  losing.  In  this  experience  he  must  know 
the  saving  grace  of  faith  in  Jesus  Christ  or 
ultimately  be  found  among  the  ruined.  If  I 
should  make  this  personal  where  would  the 
truth  apply  to  your  present  experience?  You 
are  suffering  from  losing.  You  have  lost 
the  way  by  losing  your  patience,  your  reso¬ 
lution,  your  devotion,  your  faith,  your  light, 
your  aspirations,  your  optimism.  You  have 
become  lost  by  losing.  You  are  unhappy  and 
refuse  to  acknowledge  the  cause.  You  are  facing 
the  crisis  of  your  career  and  blindly  approach  a 
precipice.  If  you  fail  to  attend  my  warning 
you  are  lost.  What  should  you  do?  About 
face.  Where  should  you  turn?  To  Christ. 
What  should  you  seek?  Forgiveness  and  guid¬ 
ance.  What  will  happen?  You  will  come  for 
the  first  time  in  your  life  to  know  what  Jesus 
Christ  is  as  a  Saviour.  You  will  find  a  rapturous 
joy.  Then  you  will  have  something  vital  to 
preach.  You  will  have  a  burning  message.  You 
will  come  to  know  that  a  Christian’s  faith  is  the 
faith  of  a  transaction.  You  will  enter  upon  a 
new  ministry.” 


54  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

This  was  crowding  him  closely  along  lines  he 
had  passed  without  feeling  they  had  any  appli¬ 
cation  to  him.  But  he  saw  the  truth.  I  had 
held  up  the  Word  of  Christ  as  a  mirror  and  he 
had  seen  his  own  face.  He  did  not  like  it.  The 
application  was  too  personal. 

“Do  you  mean  to  say,”  he  replied  tensely, 
“that  I  have  missed  in  my  thinking  and  preach¬ 
ing  the  reason  for  which  Jesus  Christ  appeared, 
and  have  become  the  victim  of  my  own  mis¬ 
takes?  I  must  confess  that  I  think  this  is  en¬ 
tirely  superficial.  In  my  interpretation  of 
Christianity  I  have  laid  more  stress  on  right¬ 
eousness  than  on  sin,  more  emphasis  on  Christ’s 
example  than  upon  his  suffering  atonement.  If 
I  accept  what  you  offer  I  shall  be  compelled  to 
shift  the  center  of  my  thinking.  I  have  thought 
of  the  Christian  life  as  spirito-centric.  The 
great  avenues  of  the  spiritual  life  open  up  as 
eyes  to  receive  the  light.  In  their  development 
they  reach  the  stage  where  they  are  ready  to 
accept.  They  open  and  behold — The  Christ. 
You  ask  me  to  make  my  life  Christo-centric  and 
then  write  across  it  the  word — Sin,  as  though 
that  conception  contained  the  entire  significance 
and  purpose  of  the  Christian  religion.” 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  55 

He  could  scarcely  restrain  his  disapprobation. 
His  feeling  rose  almost  to  an  expression  of  aver¬ 
sion.  How  could  Christ,  his  ideal,  be  associated 
in  his  mind  with  sin?  He  had  not  realized  that 
he  was  exposing  himself  to  spiritual  incapacity, 
and  dispositional  harshness,  to  the  indictment 
of  committing  himself  to  the  most  heinous  vice 
of  the  spiritual  order.  Seeing  his  position  I 
pressed  further  the  truth  that  I  might  bring  him 
to  see  his  need  of  Jesus  Christ  and  cause  him  to 
turn  to  him  as  rescuer  in  time  of  distress. 

“What  has  your  spiritual  life  meant  to  you?” 
I  continued.  “Has  it  meant  struggle  and  fail¬ 
ure  and  victory?  Perhaps  as  a  minister  you 
have  lived  the  intellectual  life  thinking  that  was 
what  the  Scripture  means  by  the  spiritual  life? 
Perhaps  you  have  not  realized  that  the  spiritual 
life  is  as  much  a  struggle  as  that  of  the  physical. 
Spiritually  we  survive  by  fitness.  And  spiritual 
fitness  is  wrought  by  our  struggle.  There  come 
into  man’s  spiritual  life  daily  strong  vital  forces 
as  dynamic  as  though  in  material  form.  They 
play  about  his  motives,  they  incite  his  impulses 
with  as  much  regularity  and  determination  as 
though  they  were  canister  and  steel  projectile. 
If  a  man  lives  regardless  of  them  they  will  work 


56  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

his  undoing.  Especially  is  this  true  of  the  min¬ 
ister.  He  is  the  center  of  the  spiritual  life  of 
the  community.  All  evil  forces  converge  by  at¬ 
traction  toward  the  central  pole  of  radiation  of 
good  influences.  When  he  darkens  the  shadows 
fall.  He  must  be  prepared  for  the  swift  moving 
currents  that  appear  in  the  community  among 
the  social  forces.  They  will  finally  turn  center 
and  break  upon  him.  He  must  be  sensitive  to¬ 
ward  sinister  influences.  For  malice  and  hatred 
and  selfishness  and  aggrandizement  and  pes¬ 
simism  and  cynicism  and  jealousy  and  covetous¬ 
ness  and  pride  and  anger  and  moroseness  and 
love  of  luxury  and  ease  and  idleness  and  indo¬ 
lence  and  indifference  and  secularity,  all  these 
and  many  more  at  times  storm  the  citadel  of  the 
spiritual  purity  of  the  minister’s  life.  He  stands 
exposed  where  these  play  upon  him  with  ter¬ 
rible  ravages.  If  his  life  is  not  hid  with  Christ 
in  God  his  fine  sensibilities  will  deaden  while  his 
hopes  and  ideals  will  be  consumed  in  the  flame 
and  be  gathered  as  ashes  in  his  life.  All  the 
great  evangelists  of  a  former  generation  were 
accustomed  to  say  that  the  spiritual  life,  as  we 
know  it,  on  its  higher  levels,  needs  to  be  fre¬ 
quently  humbled,  reconvicted,  and  broken  down 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  57 

before  God.  They  conceive  of  the  Christian 
aspirations  and  impulses  as  becoming  crusted 
over,  as  settling  and  losing  their  resiliency  and 
exquisite  relish  for  things  divine.  They  claimed 
that  the  unction  and  inclination  to  pray  at  times 
abated,  and  that  the  emotional  nature  lost  its 
keen  responsiveness  and  its  delight  and  enthusi¬ 
asm  over  spiritual  things.  Therefore  they  urged 
that  frequently  there  should  be  a  breaking  up 
of  the  emotional  life  and  a  tugging  at  the  faith 
lines  to  save  the  soul  from  the  deadening  influ¬ 
ences  of  the  downward  pull  of  the  passions  and 
physical  impulses  and  social  contacts.  They 
were  more  successful  than  we  to-day  in  bring¬ 
ing  our  fathers  back  to  the  fundamentals  of  the 
spiritual  life.  For  with  them  it  was  a  struggle 
even  unto  death.” 

Again  he  shifted  in  his  chair  and  started  to 
speak.  He  was  still  in  the  spirit  of  dissent.  It 
was  only  for  a  moment. 

“Why  this  struggle?”  he  protested.  “I  have 
thought  that  the  Christian  life  was  a  way  of 
peace  and  satisfaction.” 

“Have  you  found  it  so?”  I  interjected. 

“Can’t  say  that  I  have,”  was  his  laconic  reply. 
“Now  that  you  have  thrown  light  upon  it  I  feel 


58  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

that  it  has  been  one  long  struggle  with  me.  I 
have  never  seen  it  from  this  point  of  view. 
Struggle?  Why?  I  see  it,  but  how  can  a  man 
bring  himself  to  be  reconciled  to  it?  How  could 
I  preach  that  gospel  ?” 

“That  gospel  is  the  gift  of  God,”  I  assured 
him.  “To  wit,  that  God  was  in  Christ  recon¬ 
ciling  the  world  unto  himself.  That  was  part  of 
his  plan.  You  must  learn  the  lesson  of  recon¬ 
ciliation.  You  have  not  thought  of  this?  You 
must  be  reconciled  to  God’s  way.  All  those  ele¬ 
ments  of  character  you  prize  so  highly,  courage, 
persistence,  endurance,  optimism,  and  patience 
and  unselfishness,  are  the  products  of  spiritual 
struggle.  If  you  recognize  weak-spiritedness  or 
cowardice  or  surrender  as  the  outstanding  spirit¬ 
ual  vices,  you  surely  should  not  consider  your¬ 
self  without  sin.  The  great  virtue  of  struggle  is 
to  struggle.  The  great  vice  is  to  surrender. 
Weigh  the  baseness  of  surrender.  Could  such  a 
statement  be  repeated  in  your  presence  without 
striking  the  edge  of  your  conscience?  Can  you 
stand  in  the  presence  of  Christ  and  not  feel  the 
shame  of  your  ceasing  to  struggle,  your  giving 
up,  your  weak-spiritedness,  your  cowardice? 
The  great  vice  of  the  spiritual  order  is  sur- 


A  Cry  from  the  Depths  59 

render.  You  have  descended  to  that  depth.” 

Suddenly  the  storm  gathering  within  him 
broke.  He  was  overwhelmed  with  emotion. 
Something  had  happened.  I  was  startled.  My 
words  had  broken  through.  He  rested  his  face 
in  his  hands  and  spoke  as  if  to  himself.  “Lost 
by  losing — ”  His  eyes  filled,  his  lips  tightened. 
He  bit  down  words  that  raged  for  expression. 
He  ejaculated,  “What  have  I  not  lost  by  losing? 
O  God,  have  I  committed  the  greatest  vice  of 
the  spiritual  order?  Surrender,  weak-spirited¬ 
ness,  cowardice?  I  am  betrayed.  What  shall  I 
do?  O  Lord,  who  will  save  me  from  this  hour?” 

That  was  the  moment  for  which  I  had  waited. 
I  answered,  “Jesus  Christ,  Lord,  Saviour!  Look 
to  Him.” 

My  voice  startled  him.  He  quickly  recovered 
himself  as  from  a  distracting  dream,  rose  to  his 
feet,  changed  his  attitude  and  smiled. 

“Pardon  me  for  this  momentary  loss  of  self- 
control,”  he  said,  apologizing,  as  he  extended  his 
hand  to  terminate  the  interview.  “It  was  bitter. 
I  see  a  new  light.  I  will  go  home  and  test  out 
these  truths  you  have  given  me  about  Jesus 
Christ  as  Lord  and  Saviour.  I  will  fight  it 
through  at  all  costs.” 


60  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

He  was  gone.  He  went  out  as  one  stricken 
by  the  light.  It  had  left  him  haggard.  It  had 
made  him  uncertain  of  step.  He  walked  as 
one  weary  after  a  taxing  adventure.  Would  he 
return  among  the  prophets  of  the  Lord  who 
have  been  conquered  by  the  light?  Was  he 
going  out  to  strike  the  road  from  Jerusalem  to 
Jericho,  where  in  the  darkness  he  would  hear 
the  sobbing  of  that  infinite  human  anguish  that 
breaks  upon  the  ears  of  those  recently  awak¬ 
ened? 

Would  he  find  the  road  to  Damascus?  Would 
he  be  overtaken  by  that  enlargement  of  mind 
caused  by  the  inbreaking  of  light?  Would  he 
suffer  the  reduction  that  comes  by  the  seizure 
of  soul  wrought  by  the  conquest  of  truth?  It 
was  altogether  possible  that  he  might  appear 
again  among  all  those  to  whom  justice  has  re¬ 
vealed  itself,  among  all  those  from  whom  blind¬ 
ness  has  been  removed,  among  all  those  tri¬ 
umphant  searchers  after  conviction,  among  all 
the  great  adventurers  who  have  traveled  the 
paths  of  virtue,  among  all  those  servants  of  the 
good  and  the  beautiful  who  have  been  taught 
the  way  by  the  acknowledgment  of  a  personal 
faith  in  Jesus  Christ. 


PART  II:  LOOKING  INTO  THE 

DEPTHS 


“Take  away  the  minister’s  spiritual  power,  and  though 
you  give  us  the  fairest  deportment,  the  richest  eloquence, 
the  most  subtle  and  fascinating  speculation,  you  leave 
us  without  any  sense  that  we  are  hearkening  to  a  man 
of  God.  Did  the  multitudes  of  the  Christian  church 
only  set  due  estimate  upon  this,  and  rank  propriety  and 
intellectualism  in  their  proper  place,  the  idea  that  a  man 
can  pass  creditably  as  a  minister  merely  by  carefully 
performing  a  ceremony,  or  by  weaving  webs  of  curious 
and  cunning  language,  would  be  as  far  from  men’s  minds 
as  is  now  the  idea  that  one  can  obtain  credit  as  a  soldier 
without  courage,  as  a  painter  without  skill  of  hand,  or 
as  a  musician  without  an  instinct  of  tune.” 

William  Arthur. 


Part  II:  Looking  into  the 
Depths 

Perils  of  Present  Day  Ministry 

I  watched  the  young  minister  as  he  hastened 
away.  I  knew  more  about  his  work  than  he 
thought.  His  confession  was  the  fulfillment  of 
my  expectations.  For  a  number  of  years  he  had 
been  heading  directly  for  a  crisis  and  perhaps  a 
fall.  He  did  not  know  it.  He  would  not  have 
listened  should  any  one  have  warned  him.  He 
was  living  a  self-centered  life.  Driving  down 
the  road  of  his  career  he  took  little  heed  of 
speed  or  of  whom  he  was  passing.  He  had  his 
chief  delight  in  the  feeling  that  he  was  getting 
somewhere.  Suddenly  a  turn  in  the  road  brings 
him  to  a  halt.  He  discovers  that  the  exhilara¬ 
tion  he  has  had  came  from  his  haste  and 
not  from  a  sense  of  satisfaction  that  he  was 
going  in  the  right  direction  and  was  taking  some¬ 
thing  worthwhile  along  with  him.  He  had  out¬ 
distanced  others  whose  fellowship  he  had  en¬ 
joyed  on  part  of  the  journey.  While  on  the 

63 


64  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

other  section  he  had  struck  a  tangent  that  led 
him  from  the  main  path  and  had  brought  him 
in  the  midst  of  the  entanglements  of  an  individ¬ 
ualism  that  had  awakened  him  to  the  conscious¬ 
ness  that  not  only  his  fellows  had  left  him,  but 
even  the  sense  of  God’s  presence  had  forsaken 
him. 

I  had  sought  to  bring  him  face  to  face  with 
his  serious  situation.  He  had  followed  me  re¬ 
luctantly  and  at  times  protestingly.  I  had 
crowded  him  into  one  confusing  position  after 
another.  He  had  finally  broken  down  under  the 
realization  that  the  ministry  was  not  a  deceiving 
allurement  and  the  church  wrong  in  its  dealings 
with  its  youth;  and  had  partially  acknowledged 
that  he  had  made  a  mistake,  that  he  had  de¬ 
ceived  himself,  that  he  was  working  under  self¬ 
ish  motives,  that  he  had  committed  the  greatest 
sin  against  the  spiritual  order,  that  he  had  lost 
many  of  the  valuable  things  of  the  spiritual  life 
by  losing.  He  had  faced  this  truth  with  a  shock. 
Then  he  had  shut  it  out  as  it  had  sought  to  pro¬ 
duce  an  emotional  storm  and  withdrew  from  my 
presence.  He  had  gone  away  to  be  like  Jacob 
struggling  beneath  the  stars. 

When  again  alone  I  could  not  dismiss  from  my 


Looking  into  the  Depths  65 

mind  his  suffering  face.  Had  I  gotten  anywhere 
with  him?  What  had  he  gone  out  to  do? 
Would  he  go  away  to  forget  his  conversation 
with  me?  He  had  assured  me  he  would 
postpone  the  execution  of  his  resolution  to 
abandon  the  ministry.  That  could  be  re¬ 
garded  as  valuable.  But  was  it  final?  Post¬ 
ponement  of  a  resolution  of  that  kind  based 
upon  a  test  and  a  further  try-out  was  very  ques¬ 
tionable.  For  a  man  cannot  go  forward  in  the 
ministry  if  he  holds  reservations,  that  if  it  works 
out  to  suit  him,  he  will  go  on  with  it,  and  if  it 
does  not  he  will  quit.  I  knew  that  resigna¬ 
tion  to  it  was  the  only  safe  policy.  He  was 
going  back  to  assume  the  duties  of  his  ministry 
with  reservations.  What  would  be  the  out¬ 
come?  He  was  going  to  put  Jesus  Christ  to  the 
test  as  a  Saviour.  Would  he  really?  Could  he 
on  the  basis  of  a  laboratory  method?  He  had 
resolved  to  try  out  the  meaning  of  the  spiritual 
struggle.  He  was  going  to  fight  it  through  by 
the  help  of  Jesus  Christ.  Would  he?  Did  he 
see  his  way?  Could  he  find  it  if  he  did  not  see 
it?  Would  he  take  others  into  his  council  and 
reveal  in  the  least  the  weakness  of  his  life?  He 
had  been  so  self-sufficient  he  had  not  done  so. 


66  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

Would  he  do  it  now?  Not  every  man  can  sus¬ 
tain  himself  in  a  moral  struggle.  Indeed  inner 
conflicts  are  not  continued  by  the  volitions. 
They  seize  the  will.  If  he  seeks  to  repress  them 
they  intensify.  If  he  prays  to  be  delivered  from 
them  they  push  him  to  his  knees.  Any  man  who 
has  felt  the  inexorable  demands  of  a  spiritual 
struggle  understands  what  is  meant.  It  cannot 
be  thrown  off  until  it  has  finished  its  course  by 
bringing  its  subject  to  a  satisfying  victory,  or  by 
expending  its  energy  in  a  fatal  ending  that  leaves 
the  bitterness  of  cynicism  from  which  there  is  no 
recovery.  Therefore,  to  surrender  willingly  to 
an  inner  battle  with  the  resolution  that  it  shall 
be  fought  through  to  a  decisive  victory  requires 
moral  energy  that  cannot  be  released  save  by 
the  presence  and  power  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  This 
is  what  St.  Paul  meant  when  he  cried  out:  “I  see 
another  law  in  my  members  warring  against  the 
law  of  my  mind,  and  bringing  me  into  captivity 
to  the  law  of  sin,”  and  assured  himself  with  the 
words:  “The  Spirit  himself  maketh  intercession 
for  us  with  groanings  which  cannot  be  uttered.” 
There  was  no  way  by  which  I  could  further  help 
him.  I  must  leave  him  with  Providence.  When 
would  I  hear  from  him  again? 


I 


WHEN  MINISTERS  FALL 

I  sat  looking  down  into  the  depths  following 
the  descent  over  which  I  had  seen  almost  a 
score  of  ministers  pass  during  the  last  six  years. 
At  the  end  was  shame  and  ruin.  I  had  wit¬ 
nessed  the  maneuvers  of  a  number  of  others  as 
they  walked  about  the  brink  and  saw  them  save 
themselves  by  turning  away  with  blanched  faces 
and  hasten  to  assume  with  abandonment  the 
duties  to  which  God  had  called  them.  I  had 
witnessed  that  tragedy  in  the  ministry  that  es¬ 
tablishes  the  gallows  of  Haman  as  a  necessity 
in  the  moral  universe ;  men  who  preach  to  others 
surrender  to  iniquities  that  humiliate  the  face 
of  righteousness  and  corrupt  the  entire  order  of 
which  they  are  a  conspicuous  part;  men  who 
have  preached  to  others  become  themselves  cast¬ 
aways,  fall  into  the  pit  from  which  they  have 
warned  others,  commit  the  very  crimes  they 
have  condemned  and  become  worthy  of  the 
same  punishments  they  have  prophesied  were 

being  laid  up  for  others.  I  have  seen  ministers 

67 


68  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

fall.  This  is  the  ever-recurring  mystery  of  the 
spiritual  universe.  Ministers  are  ruined.  They 
are  built  of  such  material  that  it  is  possible  for 
them  to  collapse.  Ministers  sometimes  end 
their  careers  in  regret  and  grief.  They  are  hu¬ 
man.  They  are  no  less  reprehensible.  The 
farther  the  fall,  the  more  extensive  the  ruin. 
The  more  unexpected  the  tragedy,  the  greater 
the  demerit,  the  greater  the  condemnation.  It 
is  easy  to  fall  from  the  altitudes  and  it  is  fraught 
with  irreparable  disaster. 

Was  the  great  theatrical  manager  right  when 
he  claimed,  speaking  in  defense  of  the  stage, 
that  there  were  more  preachers  in  jail  in  this 
country  than  actors?  Perhaps  he  was.  An  actor 
can  break  many  of  our  moral  laws  and  society  is 
silent.  He  does  not  claim  to  ascend  to  any 
moral  heights.  He  cannot  have  any  serious 
falls.  All  his  moral  delinquencies  are  mere 
stumbles.  He  staggers,  gains  his  equilibrium 
and  goes  on  as  though  nothing  had  happened. 
The  law  in  dealing  with  an  actor  as  a  last  re¬ 
sort  sends  him  to  jail.  Public  opinion  does  not 
require  a  high  moral  standard  of  him.  It  fre¬ 
quently  permits  him  to  go  free  when,  if  he  had 
his  just  dues,  he  would  be  incarcerated.  He  has 


Looking  into  the  Depths  69 

opportunity  to  cover  up  his  tracks  if  he  wanders 
into  meanness.  He  is  simply  fulfilling  the  ex¬ 
pectation  of  men  when  he  is  morally  irregular. 
He  makes  no  claim  to  piety.  Hence  much  is  not 
expected  of  him.  If  he  can  maintain  himself 
within  the  limits  of  respectability  he  has  no 
trouble  about  going  to  jail. 

Yes,  there  may  be  more  ministers  in  prison  to¬ 
day  than  actors.  If  this  is  true  it  is  not  because 
either  have  received  their  just  dues.  It  does 
not  prove  or  disprove  the  superior  moral  value 
of  either.  It  does,  however,  support  the  claim 
that  ministers  are  judged  by  a  higher  moral 
standard.  They  are  dealt  with  by  a  more  strin¬ 
gent  code  of  ethics.  The  least  deviation  from 
the  straight  path  and  they  are  disqualified.  The 
loss  of  moral  balance  precipitates  them  to  a 
ruinous  depth.  They  live  in  moral  altitudes. 
The  higher  they  go,  the  more  perilous  their  posi¬ 
tion.  A  slip,  a  stumble,  a  mistake,  a  lapse,  and 
they  are  gone,  over  the  precipice,  down  from 
the  heights,  falling  toward  the  depths  in  trag¬ 
edy  to  ruin.  More  ministers  fail  morally  than 
actors,  because  they  seek  moral  perfection.  The 
man  who  never  attempts  to  rise  never  falls. 
We  believe  the  efficient  theatrical  manager  will 


70  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

concede  there  are  more  bad  actors  than  good 
actors.  Will  he  not  in  all  fairness  acknowledge 
there  are  more  good  ministers  than  bad  minis¬ 
ters?  The  clean ,  idealistic  actor  is  the  exception. 
The  immoral  minister  is  an  exception. 

There  is  no  reasonable  association  in  unpreju¬ 
diced  thought  between  the  career  of  a  minister 
and  an  actor.  The  former  abandons  himself  to 
living  the  spiritual  life.  The  latter  commits  him¬ 
self  to  living  a  double  life — what  he  himself  is 
in  reality  and  what  he  assumes  to  be  in  the  role 
of  the  theatrical  artist.  This  one  thing  I  do,  re¬ 
solves  the  minister — Live  the  Christ  Life.  All 
these  roles  I  resolve  to  play,  declares  the  actor, 
Rich  man,  poor  man,  beggar  man,  thief.  Both 
face  the  same  inevitable  decrees.  When  the 
actor  becomes  a  preacher  he  fails;  when  the 
preacher  becomes  an  actor,  he  is  ruined.  The 
actor  claims  he  is  not  what  he  pretends  to  be. 
The  minister  never  pretends  but  seeks  to  be 
what  he  appears  to  be.  This  is  to  the  actor’s 
credit.  In  the  minister  it  is  failure. 

They  are  judged  by  two  different  standards. 
The  minister  by  that  of  a  perfect  moral  code  in 
which  the  personal  element  enters  profoundly. 
The  actor  by  that  of  the  perfection  of  his  art. 


II 


THE  CRITICAL  HOURS 

The  minister’s  life  is  one  of  arduous  conquest. 
He  begins  on  the  level  of  humanity  where  man 
struggles  against  the  force  that  would  reduce 
the  physical  life  to  impotence.  He  must  give 
himself  to  it  with  abandon.  He  is  out  to  domi¬ 
nate,  to  subjugate.  Having  gained  control  over 
the  physical  he  advances  to  the  moral  life,  re¬ 
solving  he  will  master  there.  The  struggle  sets 
in.  The  fury  of  a  conflict  rages  about  him.  He 
is  thrust  in  upon  an  ascent  for  which  he  must 
have  a  passion  or  fail.  He  gains  ground  and  es¬ 
tablishes  himself.  He  sights  the  social  life  and 
sets  his  forces  to  gain  its  level  and  maintain  him¬ 
self  there.  From  this  altitude  he  discovers  the 
intellectual  life  and  turns  all  his  forces  to  gain¬ 
ing  its  level.  Then  above  all,  and  over  all,  and 
apparently  beyond  the  reach  of  all,  appears  the 
wide,  expanding  region  of  the  spiritual  life.  He 
anticipates  that  conquest.  He  prepares  to  as¬ 
cend  to  that  elevation.  He  is  caught  by  the 

fury  of  the  struggle.  Spiritual  whirlwinds 

71 


72  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

sweep  about  him.  The  ascent  is  beset  by  in¬ 
finite  difficulties.  He  must  go  forth  alone  meet¬ 
ing  passion,  hunger,  restlessness,  burning  dis¬ 
content.  He  must  be  prepared  to  be  stricken 
by  vertigo,  to  suffer  from  stupefaction.  He 
must  search  for  the  divine  fire  and  consent  to 
die,  to  be  consumed.  He  must  struggle  onward 
and  upward  until  he  discovers  that  imperishable 
decree  written  on  the  promontories  of  immor¬ 
tality,  “The  names  of  the  great  preachers  are 
the  names  of  men  who  have  struggled  unto 
blood,  resisting  passions  within  and  tempta¬ 
tions  without.” 

In  a  correct  conception  of  the  Christian  minis¬ 
try  we  are  confronted  by  the  necessity  of  ac¬ 
cepting  the  conclusion  that  when  it  is  lived  as  a 
spirit-led  and  spirit-inspired  life,  it  is  beset  by 
one  crisis  after  another,  that  it  expands  and  ad¬ 
vances  from  level  to  level,  from  strata  to  strata, 
by  struggle,  by  conflict,  by  insistence,  by  de¬ 
termined  resolution,  by  one  continuous  effort 
to  maintain  the  life  at  its  full  capacity.  Look¬ 
ing  at  the  ministry  from  this  point  of  view  I  find 
there  are  four  crises  through  which  all  the  great 
preachers  have  passed  in  their  struggle  for  ex¬ 
pression  and  in  their  efforts  to  find  those  levels 


Looking  into  the  Depths  73 

where  their  souls  could  attain  delight  and  enjoy 
that  renewal  of  communion  with  God  that 
brings  them  their  coveted  inspiration.  There  is 
first,  The  Moral  Crisis.  This  is  closely  related 
to  the  physical  life,  registering  itself  in  the 
struggles  of  the  moral  will  to  gain  control  over 
the  instincts  and  passions  of  the  physical  man. 
Second,  The  Intellectual  Crisis ,  which  is  brought 
on  by  the  effort  to  think  into  a  satisfactory  sys¬ 
tem  the  tenets  of  the  Christian  faith.  Third, 
The  Spiritual  Crisis  that  is  produced  by  the  ef¬ 
fort  of  the  human  spirit  to  find  daily  com¬ 
munion  with  God  through  faith  in  and  obedi¬ 
ence  to  the  will  of  Jesus  Christ.  Fourth,  The 
Vocational  Crisis ,  that  appears  during  the  ma¬ 
ture  years  imperiling  the  control  of  the  master 
passion  of  a  minister’s  life. 

Our  libraries  hold  the  biographies  of  many 
great  preachers.  All  along  the  line  comes  the 
confession  of  great  victories  through  great  crises. 
.We  may  begin  with  our  Lord  himself,  strug¬ 
gling  through  his  temptation  in  the  wilderness 
to  his  wrestling  in  Gethsemane,  when  his  sweat 
was  made  incarnadine  by  his  agony,  and  pass 
to  Saul  of  Tarsus  and  hear  him  cry  out  in  his 
distress,  “O  wretched  man  that  I  am,  who  shall 


74  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

deliver  me  from  the  body  of  this  death?”  Pass 
to  Savonarola  and  witness  his  struggle  to  stand 
by  the  message  the  Spirit  had  given  him  for  the 
gay  Florentines.  Pass  to  Luther  and  John  Cal¬ 
vin  and  John  Knox  and  ask  the  question,  Who 
were  these  men?  Men  who  lived  on  the  spirit¬ 
ual  frontier,  where  life’s  fierce  battles  rage. 
Call  them  and  they  will  appear,  battered, 
scarred,  marked,  worn  by  many  conflicts.  Pass 
to  John  and  Charles  Wesley.  You  see  Alders- 
gate  and  hear  John  say,  “Then  was  my  heart 
strangely  warmed.  Then  for  the  first  time  I 
knew  my  sins  forgiven  through  faith  in  Jesus 
Christ.”  Then  you  hear  Lecky,  the  secular  his¬ 
torian,  record,  “That  hour  at  Aldersgate  was  one 
of  the  turning  points  in  the  world’s  history.” 
Pass  to  Cardinal  Newman,  to  Horace  Bushnell, 
to  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  to  R.  J.  Campbell,  to 
W.  E.  Orchard,  and  the  same  record  is  found. 
In  life’s  critical  hours  the  spirit  of  the  man  dedi¬ 
cated  to  the  ministry  of  Jesus  Christ  finds  itself 
in  a  crisis  through  which  it  enters  into  a  renewed 
life  on  higher  levels,  as  a  pilgrim  seeking  his 
path,  through  the  trackless  wastes  in  search  of 
the  dwelling  place  of  God.  These  rose  into  the 
heights  and  stood  sun-crowned.  There  are  those 


Looking  into  the  Depths  75 

who  lose  their  way  and  go  down.  Earth  has  no 
scene  so  sad  as  when  some  minister  forgets  that 
Christ  has  taken  vows  for  him  and  plunges  into 
the  mire. 


THE  MORAL  CRISIS 

The  moral  crisis  is  the  most  fundamental  that 
appears  in  the  minister’s  life.  It  affords  him 
his  first  opportunity  for  conquest.  It  must  be 
registered  as  a  decisive  victory,  or  the  enemies 
that  lurk  in  the  animal  passions  will  threaten 
him  with  early  defeat.  If  dealt  with  leniently 
they  will  hide  themselves  away  in  the  hours 
when  the  better  self  is  in  control,  but  as  weak¬ 
ness  comes  and  moral  laxity  prevails  they  stand 
forth  like  the  beasts  of  the  jungle  and  lay  waste 
the  life  in  animalism  and  shame.  Men  are 
prone  not  to  take  this  situation  into  considera¬ 
tion.  If  there  is  one  indictment  that  can  be 
made  against  the  church  it  is  that  there  has  been 
too  much  complacency  about  the  moral  security 
of  its  ministry.  We  have  not  appreciated  the 
character  of  the  innumerable  perils  to  which  its 
members  are  daily  exposed.  We  do  not  realize 
that  the  moral  standard  of  Christianity  is  ex¬ 
ceedingly  hard  on  human  nature.  Men  are  con- 


76  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

stantly  either  breaking  under  its  demands  for 
unattainable  excellency  or  are  struggling  midst 
prayers  and  penitence  to  satisfy  them.  All  be¬ 
lievers  carry  the  hidden  consciousness  which  if 
they  should  confess  would  register  that  they 
have  not  attained,  that  they  have  fallen  far 
short  and  that  in  themselves  they  are  utterly  in¬ 
capable  of  attaining  perfection.  The  entire 
field  of  human  nature  must  be  worked  over — 
regenerated — before  the  least  approach  can  be 
made  to  it.  And  yet,  under  this  teaching  and 
controlled  by  this  influence,  which  should  make 
us  long-suffering  and  patient  and  forgiving,  we 
are  unyielding  in  our  demands  for  perfection, 
merciless  in  our  dealing  with  delinquencies,  un¬ 
forgiving  before  the  appeal  of  repentance  and 
uncompassionate  before  the  humiliating  con¬ 
fession.  We  seldom  fail  to  refer  to  a  man’s  sin 
as  though  eternal  judgment  had  been  pro¬ 
nounced  upon  him,  treat  him  as  though  he  were 
forever  beyond  recovery,  even  though  we  be¬ 
lieve  in  divine  grace  and  the  restoration  of  the 
erring  through  faith  in  Jesus  Christ.  Knowing 
that  the  offender  is  flesh  of  our  flesh  and  bone 
of  our  bone,  confessing  that  he  is  intensely 
human,  we  require  of  him  that  degree  of  moral 


Looking  into  the  Depths  77 

uprightness  no  man  can  attain  apart  from  con¬ 
stant  divine  aid.  Judged  by  the  standards  of 
human  nature  the  immaculate  character  of 
the  minister  in  a  community  is  a  continuous 
miracle.  This  we  are  prone  to  rigidly  require 
of  him  at  the  threat  of  his  ruin.  However, 
should  he  lay  claim  to  any  superior  perfection 
we  at  once  condemn  him.  He  is  made  to  walk 
alone  on  the  heights  and  at  the  same  time  come 
in  daily  contact  with  human  nature  on  the  level 
where  it  battles  with  passions,  instincts  and 
physical  impulses.  He  is  required  to  be  accli¬ 
mated  in  the  heights  and  yet  to  retain  that  re¬ 
sponsiveness  to  the  storm  and  stress  periods  of 
life  that  he  may  enter  them  with  immunity  and 
survive  their  fiercest  blasts.  He  must  exercise 
the  wisdom  of  an  archangel.  Unguarded  mo¬ 
ments  imperil  him.  Temporary  weakness  ex¬ 
poses  him  to  repeated  attacks  of  the  earth-pull 
that  seeks  to  rob  him  of  his  aspirations  to  walk 
with  God  and  live  the  sacrificial  life.  If  he  sur¬ 
renders  to  the  least  spirit  of  indifference,  if  he 
gives  down,  if  he  settles,  ceasing  to  struggle,  cir¬ 
cumstances  victimize  him.  Sometimes  without 
the  least  anticipation  the  intensity  of  his  en¬ 
thusiasm  betrays  him.  The  warmth  of  his  heart 


78  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

proves  a  snare.  The  sin  he  condemns  suddenly 
turns  and  seizes  upon  him.  His  opposition  to  it 
as  seen  in  the  life  of  others  proves  to  have  been 
the  outward  manifestation  of  the  inner  resist¬ 
ance  he  was  making  in  his  own  life.  Suddenly 
he  breaks.  He  is  forced  aside  from  the  main 
issue  of  his  ministry.  His  conscience  loses  its 
keen  edge,  his  moral  nature  fails  to  react  against 
the  least  appearance  of  evil,  his  spiritual  percep¬ 
tions  become  dull,  prayer  fails  to  rise  with  in¬ 
tensity  upon  his  lips,  his  emotions  slowly  re¬ 
spond  to  the  appeal  of  his  ideal.  He  loses  his 
elevation.  He  sinks  to  the  depth.  He  is  sub¬ 
merged.  He  is  engulfed.  Stunned,  shocked,  he 
asserts  himself  to  resist.  He  resolves  to  struggle 
back.  Power  has  passed  from  him.  He  is  as 
one  held.  His  old  vigor  disappears.  Helpless, 
he  discovers  he  has  fallen  into  the  net  set  for  the 
wicked.  He  is  apprehended,  indicted.  He  can 
produce  no  defense.  He  has  sinned  but  not  in¬ 
tentionally.  He  is  guilty  but  not  by  premedi¬ 
tation.  He  has  lost  his  way  as  one  blinded. 
The  contagion  he  has  fought  has  seized  upon 
him.  The  plague  he  was  seeking  to  stamp  out 
has  victimized  him.  The  remedies  he  urged 
upon  others  fail  upon  himself. 


Looking  into  the  Depths  79 

I  have  seen  such  a  man  stand  as  if  inwardly 
stricken,  numbed,  deadened,  paralyzed,  with  no 
expression  of  realization  of  the  enormity  of  his 
moral  defalcation.  I  have  discovered  a  protest, 
a  resentment  that  he  should  be  so  dealt  with.  I 
have  seen  him  cover  his  sin  with  a  lie  in  his  ef¬ 
forts  at  concealment.  Behold,  how  are  the 
mighty  fallen!  How  are  the  righteous  tra¬ 
duced!  How  are  the  watchmen  on  the  towers 
of  Zion  betrayed  into  the  hands  of  their  ene¬ 
mies!  Where  is  the  way  of  escape?  If  there 
has  been  a  moral  fall,  there  is  none  save  that  of 
forgiveness.  The  man  goes  down,  and  never 
again  recovers  the  former  heights  that  once  in¬ 
spired  him.  The  psychologist  pronounces  it  a 
case  of  moral  nerves  and  recommends  a  sani¬ 
tarium.  The  man  of  God  looks  upon  the  ruins 
and  recalls  the  words  of  David  in  his  penitential 
psalms  when  his  conscience  had  been  laid  open 
by  an  ugly  gash  from  the  sword  of  lust  and  sin, 
“I  acknowledge  my  transgression  and  my  sin  is 
ever  before  me.  Create  within  me  a  clean  heart 
and  renew  a  right  spirit  within  me,  cast  me  not 
away  from  thy  presence  and  take  not  thy  holy 
spirit  from  me.”  A  confession  of  repentance 
that  finds  the  way  to  restoration. 


80  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

A  clean  heart  and  a  right  spirit  and  a  humble 
dependence  upon  Christ  as  a  daily  corrector  of 
the  delinquencies  of  the  life  form  the  circle  in 
which  the  virtue  of  the  man  of  God  must  find 
its  exercise.  It  is  located  in  the  heights.  It 
dwells  in  an  atmosphere  highly  sensitized.  It 
grows  under  a  divine  impulsion  as  a  thing 
apart. 

For  accept  it  as  we  will,  a  minister’s  moral 
virtue  should  be  as  attractive  as  a  maiden’s 
modesty.  He  fain  would  not  be  sexless.  That 
would  make  him  a  monk  and  associate  him  with 
the  drab  of  the  nun,  or  mark  him  as  possessing 
the  listless  passion  of  the  eunuch.  He  must  be 
a  man,  but  not  a  virginal  youth  in  whom  the 
fires  of  passion  are  yet  to  burn.  He  must  be  a 
man,  but  being  such,  maintain  that  chasteness 
which  throws  the  glow  of  chastity  about  him. 

He  must  maintain  his  inner  life  with  the  ori¬ 
ginal  of  an  unblown  flower  whose  purity  is  a 
whiteness  in  the  shade,  whose  delicateness  is  the 
inmost  cell  of  a  closed  lily  which  ought  not  to 
be  seen  by  man  before  it  has  been  looked  upon 
by  the  sun.  For  there  is  a  virtue  that  is  afraid 
of  itself.  It  retires  before  the  most  casual  gaze. 
It  takes  alarm  at  the  least  exposure,  like  the 


Looking  into  the  Depths  81 

modest  maiden  who  partially  drapes  her  beauty 
during  her  morning  ablutions,  whose  white  foot 
even  takes  refuge  in  a  slipper,  whose  bosom  veils 
itself  even  before  the  mirror  lest  it  have  eyes  to 
see,  whose  flowing  garment  is  quickly  drawn  to 
hide  her  shoulders  at  the  crackling  of  the  furni¬ 
ture,  whose  ribbons  are  hastily  tied,  hooks  nerv¬ 
ously  clasped,  lacings  drawn,  whose  heart  leaps, 
whose  breathing  becomes  perceptible,  who  starts 
and  shivers  as  with  cold.  There  is  the  presence 
of  modesty,  there  is  that  exquisite  shyness,  that 
winged  thing  called  subtle  anxiety  of  virtue 
when  approached  by  the  scrutiny  of  the  search¬ 
ing  eye.  It  cannot  be  touched  without  spolia¬ 
tion. 

The  chasteness  of  virtue  in  the  minister’s  life 
should  be  as  delicate  as  the  down  of  the  peach, 
as  the  dust  of  the  plum,  as  the  pollen  of  the 
flower,  as  the  radiated  crystal  of  the  snow,  as 
the  powdered  wing  of  the  butterfly;  and  yet  as 
strong  as  the  wing  of  an  albatross,  as  pene¬ 
trating  as  a  ray  of  light,  as  flashing  as  a  display 
of  lightning,  as  powerful  as  the  tides  of  the 
sea,  as  irresistible  as  the  will  of  God,  as  threat¬ 
ening  as  the  day  of  his  judgment,  as  command¬ 
ing  as  his  majesty,  as  enchanting  as  the  reward 


82  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

of  his  mercy,  and  as  assuring  as  the  proffer  of 
his  forgiveness. 

For  the  minister’s  virtue  is  a  thing  of  reality 
and  not  a  chimera  of  the  soul.  It  is  not  a  fanci¬ 
ful  dream  born  in  the  virginal  struggles  of  a 
youth  wrestling  against  the  rising  register  of  the 
ardent  juices,  that  suppressed,  fill  the  brain  with 
visionary  wraiths.  For  the  hungers  of  love  come 
from  below,  they  do  not  come  across.  They 
seek  for  release,  they  ask  not  for  satisfaction. 
They  resent  control,  they  are  born  for  imperial 
destiny.  No  man  can  resist  them.  No  man 
can  escape  love.  Opposed,  it  finally  conquers; 
unappeased,  it  floods  with  discontent;  defied,  it 
finds  an  outflow  in  gloomy  fancies;  subdued, 
like  a  mighty  volcano  it  bursts  forth  into  erup¬ 
tion. 

The  heart  of  man  becomes  in  a  minister  that 
cardinal  center  through  which  the  spirit  urges 
the  forces  of  life  from  the  level  of  the  universal 
generative  energies,  where  it  is  subject  at  its 
lowest  ranges  to  monstrous  inspirations,  to  the 
birth  of  those  great  spiritual  capacities  which, 
searching  and  rising  midst  discouragement  and 
periodic  ecstasy,  find  their  abiding  fruition  in 
fellowship  with  the  Unseen. 


Looking  into  the  Depths  83 


THE  INTELLECTUAL  CRISIS 

The  price  a  man  is  compelled  to  pay  if  he  de¬ 
sires  to  live  the  spiritual  life  is  that  of  discon¬ 
tent.  But  that  which  makes  him  a  spiritual  be¬ 
ing  makes  him  a  restless  being.  The  secret  of 
his  divine  restiveness  is  the  faculty  of  reason. 
It  drives  a  deep  discord  into  his  nature.  It  de¬ 
clares  for  an  internal  division  and  encourages  an 
antagonism  which  reveals  man’s  nature  to  be 
one  of  sense  and  spirit,  of  natural  impulses  and 
rational  self-consciousness.  Our  Lord  saw  this 
when  he  announced,  “No  man  can  serve  two 
masters.”  But  in  man  we  find  a  being  in  whom 
are  bound  together  two  forces  under  the  impulse 
for  dominance  that  are  essentially  antagonistic. 
He  cannot  yoke  them  together.  They  resist 
team  work.  Their  interests  constantly  produce 
friction.  They  make  of  a  man  the  most  myste¬ 
rious  creature  in  God’s  universe.  He  appears  at 
once  as  a  being  governed  by  reason  and  pas¬ 
sion,  who  seems  at  once  and  the  same  time  to  be 
blind  and  seeing,  limited  and  unlimited,  fettered 
and  free,  rational  and  impulsive,  brute  and  arch¬ 
angel.  Living  between  two  great  and  opposing 
forces  or  magnetic  centers,  he  is  at  once  the  un- 


84  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

reflecting  creature  of  each  transient  impulse  and 
the  sharer  of  a  universal  life,  conscious  of  an  in¬ 
finite  hunger  and  cloyed  with  every  shallow 
satisfaction,  living  in  the  light  of  liberty  of  the 
spirit  and  shut  up  in  darkness  and  bondage  of 
the  sense.  Will  not  that  be  a  day  of  immeasur¬ 
able  crisis  when  reason  appears  in  the  field  of 
life  demanding  the  right  of  control  and  com¬ 
mand?  Appetites  and  passions  and  desires  may 
group  themselves  together  and  slink  away  into 
the  dark  and  unexplored  regions  of  a  man’s  life 
and  await  their  opportunity  for  return,  but  rea¬ 
son  when  once  enthroned  never  surrenders  his 
sovereignty  without  wrecking  the  life.  Con¬ 
versely,  it  is  true  that  those  malignant  forces  do 
not  eliminate  themselves  because  of  his  reg- 
nancy.  If  they  are  not  confined  to  the  lower 
regions  of  the  life  and  restricted  in  their  activi¬ 
ties  they  periodically  break  forth  into  rebel¬ 
lion,  creating  havoc  and  sending  consternation 
throughout  every  avenue  of  the  man’s  being. 

Can  any  one  conceive  of  the  character  of  the 
crisis  produced  in  a  minister’s  life  when,  having 
passed  the  moral  crisis,  he  advances  by  the  lead 
of  intellect  to  the  conquest  of  the  forces  of  his 
life  in  the  interest  of  his  hunger  for  knowledge? 


Looking  into  the  Depths  85 

He  is  a  self-conscious  being  feeling  his  way  for¬ 
ward  and  seeking  to  make  a  place  at  the  apex 
of  perfection  among  God’s  creatures.  But  this 
self-consciousness  is  his  difficulty.  It  must  come 
to  see  and  to  know  the  end  to  which  it  sur¬ 
renders  itself.  It  demands  to  find  itself  in  its 
object.  It  seeks  to  apprehend  that  by  which  it 
is  apprehended.  In  this  comes  its  insurmounta¬ 
ble  difficulty.  It  is  driven  and  cannot  resist;  its 
urgency  rises  as  though  fed  from  sources  beyond 
itself.  Can  it  attain  the  satisfaction  of  this 
hunger?  If  not,  what  relief  is  provided?  If 
not,  what  escape  can  be  found?  Is  man  by  na¬ 
ture  destined  to  enter  a  limitless  wilderness  to 
which  there  is  no  other  side?  This  is  the  in¬ 
soluble  perplexity.  This  is  the  irreducible  mys¬ 
tery  against  which  the  Christian  minister  with 
his  sensitive  spirit  is  thrust.  The  moment  he 
decided  to  live  the  spiritual  life  reason  enters 
and  announces,  “Yes,  but  under  my  guidance.” 
Then  begins  the  quest.  The  religious  conscious¬ 
ness  becomes  the  field  in  which  the  rationalizing 
faculty  begins  its  operations.  It  will  make  the 
self-conscious  being  apprehend  that  being  who 
requires  of  it  self-surrender.  The  work  of  ex¬ 
tension  is  begun.  Experience  after  experience 


86  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

is  registered  and  made  a  part  of  the  life.  Aspira¬ 
tions  and  supplications  bring  enrichments  until 
the  spiritual  forces  run  deep  with  power.  The 
intellectualizing  of  the  entire  field  of  the  reli¬ 
gious  consciousness  becomes  the  dominating  im¬ 
pulse.  Every  problem  is  set  upon  by  the  forces 
of  reason.  There  shall  be  no  unmastered  field. 
The  mind  seeks  to  think  its  way  through.  It 
will  come  to  know  God  and  systematize  its 
knowledge  of  him.  It  will  come  to  find  a  satis¬ 
factory  solution  of  his  universe.  It  will  find  an 
answer  to  the  question  of  man’s  destiny.  It  will 
think  out  a  perfectly  rational  understanding  of 
the  Christian  gospel.  With  a  profound  sense  of 
self-sufficiency,  intellectual  faculties  enter  upon 
the  task  of  finding  the  coveted  satisfaction  for 
the  human  spirit.  Many  a  man  has  been  led 
into  this  undertaking.  Indeed,  all  men  with  any 
intellectual  capacity  have  sought  it  in  confi¬ 
dence.  It  has  a  profound  appeal  for  the  man  of 
philosophical  or  speculative  bent.  Moreover,  it 
leads  to  a  place  of  crisis.  No  man  by  thinking 
or  reasoning  has  ever  found  God.  This  is  an 
ultimatum  pronounced  by  Deity  and  supported 
by  the  record  of  great  souls.  But  the  minister  of 
unconquerable  force  finds  himself  driven  along 


Looking  into  the  Depths  87 

this  way  with  an  insatiable  thirst.  He  uncon¬ 
sciously  becomes  obsessed  by  an  idea  that 
he  can  work  the  conquest  of  God  by  the  proc¬ 
esses  of  thinking.  Of  all  men  he  has  a  claim 
to  the  accomplishment  of  this  task.  It  becomes 
his  daily  food.  He  has  no  other  desire,  no  other 
impulse.  He  pursues  his  course  with  anticipa¬ 
tion.  He  resolves  daily  to  know  all  of  God. 
Difficulties  arrive.  He  grapples  with  them.  He 
pushes  forward  as  one  trained  to  combat.  He 
meets  his  opposition  manfully.  He  reduces  one 
perplexity  to  find  they  continue  coming.  They 
multiply  as  by  division.  His  strength  is  taxed. 
He  discovers  he  is  making  no  advance.  The 
more  light  he  finds  the  farther  extended  are  the 
baffling  shadows.  His  proud  powers  of  intel¬ 
lectual  reduction  fail  him.  He  appears  helpless. 
The  mental  crisis  is  on.  Doubts  multiply  as  in 
an  enclosed  and  brooding  mind.  Darkness 
sends  deep  shadows  into  his  life.  The  spiritual 
impulse  is  affected.  Discontent  and  disappoint¬ 
ment  blow  their  storms  and  pour  down  their 
rain  of  wormwood  and  bitterness.  Hope  falls  as 
one  stricken.  Agnosticism  seeks  to  enter  and 
find  a  permanent  place  for  itself.  A  wilderness 
crowded  with  ominous  forebodings  closes  about. 


88  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

The  way  of  retreat  disappears.  Progress  is  for¬ 
bidden.  The  soul  halts,  goes  down,  surrenders 
to  the  darkness.  But  the  human  spirit  cannot 
abide  in  that  confinement.  Reaction  sets  in. 
There  is  a  reassertion  of  the  will-to-power.  A 
way  out  must  be  found.  The  power  of  faith  ex¬ 
presses  itself  with  the  claim  that  there  must  be 
light  on  the  other  side.  Now  faith  builds  out¬ 
posts  for  reason  to  occupy.  Faith  takes  the 
lead.  Reason  becomes  subordinate.  Faith  ap¬ 
pears  the  master,  reason  assumes  the  post  of  a 
servant.  Faith  calls  upon  all  the  powers  of  the 
human  spirit  to  assert  themselves.  The  dark¬ 
ness  is  resisted,  penetrated,  dissolved.  The 
light  breaks  in,  the  way  opens,  victory  is  won. 
But  what  has  happened? 

When  Christianity  is  intellectually  conceived 
it  assumes  the  form  of  a  code  of  ethics.  It  be¬ 
comes  a  round  of  duties.  It  appears  on  the 
highway  with  walls  of  restrictions  on  each  side. 
A  man  may  will  to  pass  over  it  but  if  he  does  he 
must  take  into  account  the  surrender  of  his 
freedom.  If  he  enters  it  he  must  give  himself 
to  be  controlled.  For  Christianity  is  a  way  of 
living,  a  path  for  passage,  a  system  of  thought 
to  which  one  must  rigorously  give  himself,  a 


Looking  into  the  Depths  89 

code  of  morals  that  maintains  a  man’s  life  by 
ironclad  restraints  and  steel-girding  supports. 
When  this  is  realized  it  is  not  pleasant  to  con¬ 
template.  The  thing  that  happens  in  the  intel¬ 
lectual  crisis  that  is  produced  by  the  effort  to 
intellectually  conceive  Christianity  is  that  mar¬ 
velous  transformation  which  results  in  a  dis¬ 
covery  that  the  hitherto  restrictions  may  be 
changed  into  motives  for  action,  motives  for  ag¬ 
gression,  motives  for  conquest,  and  motives  for 
the  highest  aspirations.  This  is  a  most  wonder¬ 
ful  metamorphosis.  It  is  more  than  a  resurrec¬ 
tion.  It  is  more  than  a  reconception.  It  is 
more  than  another  reproduction.  It  is  the  in¬ 
cident  of  a  new  birth.  Christianity  becomes 
real  and  a  living  thing  after  this  experience. 
Then  comes  that  sweet  and  abiding  assurance 
of  which  Cardinal  Newman  wrote,  “that  it  is 
with  the  heart  and  not  with  the  head  that  a  man 
believes  unto  salvation,”  as  he  declares  in  his 
“Grammar  of  Assent.”  Then  comes  the  light  as 
it  did  to  Horace  Bushnell,  of  which  he  after¬ 
wards  wrote,  “I  passed  from  those  partial  see- 
ings,  glimpses,  doubts,  into  a  clearer  knowledge 
of  God  and  into  his  inspirations  which  I  have 
never  lost.  The  change  was  into  faith,  a  sense 


90  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

of  the  freeness  of  God  and  the  ease  of  approach 
to  him.  Christian  faith  is  the  faith  of  a  trans¬ 
action.  It  is  not  committing  one’s  thought  in 
assent  to  any  proposition  but  the  trusting  of 
one’s  being,  there  to  be  rested,  kept,  guided, 
modified,  governed  and  possessed  forever.”  All 
those  passing  through  the  intellectual  crisis 
upon  being  rescued  by  faith  may  say  with  Paul, 
“And  this  is  the  victory  that  overcometh  the 
world  even  our  faith.”  But  the  victory  is  al¬ 
ways  won  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ  after  a 
spiritual  struggle  that  will  not  be  satisfied  with¬ 
out  his  blessing. 

THE  SPIRITUAL  CRISIS 

The  spiritual  crisis  is  far  more  distressing 
than  either  the  moral  or  the  intellectual.  It  is 
frequently  encountered  after  the  other  two  have 
been  experienced.  A  minister  may  be  con¬ 
fronted  by  it  without  having  had  the  intellectual 
crisis,  but  never  before  the  moral  crisis,  which  is 
fundamental.  It  does  not  lend  itself  readily  to 
analysis,  though  it  may  be  elaborately  de¬ 
scribed.  It  is  subtle  in  its  operations  and  hence 
elusive.  It  is  spiritual  and  frequently  hidden 


Looking  into  the  Depths  91 

deep  in  the  experiences  of  the  soul.  Its  sources 
are  often  concealed  beyond  the  reach  of  the 
most  expert  psychologist.  But  its  reality  can 
never  be  doubted  by  one  who  has  passed 
through  it.  A  spiritual  crisis  is  intended  to  be  a 
period  of  dynamic  creation.  It  operates  a  check 
upon  all  the  soul  activities.  It  quiets  the  spirit¬ 
ual  perceptions  as  though  wrestling  them  from 
the  play  of  the  supernatural  light  that  has  been 
so  assiduously  trained  upon  them.  It  slows  up 
all  the  mental  and  moral  energy  as  though  seek¬ 
ing  to  reduce  them  to  their  lowest  denomination. 
When  it  has  established  itself  it  baffles  every  ef¬ 
fort  at  escape.  It  produces  anguish  and  dis¬ 
tress.  It  drives  toward  despair.  It  forces  the 
soul  to  cry  out,  “My  God,  my  God,  why  hast 
thou  forsaken  me?”  The  only  recourse  is 
prayer.  The  soul  pours  itself  out  midst  wres¬ 
tlings  and  struggling  and  spiritual  humiliation 
that  cannot  be  uttered.  Suddenly  the  light 
breaks,  the  darkness  disappears,  the  burden  rolls 
away,  the  despair  and  depression  vanish,  the  de¬ 
lights  rise  up  to  dominate  the  life,  to  declare  the 
restoration  of  power  and  to  announce  the  vic¬ 
tory  that  overcometh  the  world. 

It  is  a  strange  manifestation  carrying  with  it 


92  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

an  element  of  mysticism  that  cannot  be  ex¬ 
plained  except  in  the  light  of  what  it  renders  to 
the  refreshing  and  reinvigorating  of  religious 
experience.  It  proves  to  be,  after  careful  study, 
a  period  in  which  depleted  power  is  restored,  in 
which  moral  and  spiritual  energy  is  generated. 
It  also  sustains  the  contention  that  it  is  a  normal 
experience  intended  to  rest,  restore  and  recuper¬ 
ate  resolution  and  resourcefulness  as  well  as  to 
reestablish  the  sources  that  maintain  idealism 
and  optimism  against  the  battling  realities  that 
control  the  earth  pull  about  the  human  soul. 
All  ministers  who  seek  to  live  the  spiritual  life 
have  passed  through  these  crises.  Frequently 
their  biographies  reveal  an  outstanding  struggle 
that  was  like  unto  the  experiences  our  Lord 
Christ  endured  in  Gethsemane.  They  face  the 
night,  enter  it  alone,  pour  out  their  souls  in 
prayer  and  anguish,  embittering  their  words, 
wrestling  even  unto  death,  crying  out,  “If  it  be 
possible  let  this  cup  pass  from  me.”  For  no 
human  spirit  can  come  readily  to  say,  “Not  my 
will  but  thine  be  done.”  There  must  be  a  gar¬ 
den  where  struggle  is  made  even  unto  blood  be¬ 
fore  consent  for  crucifixion  can  be  obtained. 
There  must  be  a  Gethsemane  before  Calvary 


Looking  into  the  Depths  93 

can  become  a  reality.  There  must  be  the  bloody 
sweat  before  the  crown  of  thorns  can  be  worn. 
There  must  be  the  darkness  of  death  before  the 
brightness  of  the  resurrection  morn. 

For  the  Christian  life  begins  with  a  cross. 
“Then  said  Jesus  unto  his  disciples,  Tf  any  man 
will  come  after  me,  let  him  deny  himself  and 
take  up  his  cross  and  follow  me.’  ”  What  is  the 
purpose  of  the  cross?  Surely  it  was  not  in¬ 
tended  to  be  carried  on  the  backs  of  men.  It 
does  not  lend  itself  to  decoration.  Christ  never 
meant  that  his  followers  should  carry  a  cross  on 
their  shoulders  until  it  should  become  the  ubi¬ 
quitous  symbol  of  his  faith.  He  intended  that 
it  should  serve  its  purpose  in  every  believer’s 
life.  A  cross  is  intended  for  crucifixion.  Take 
up  the  cross  and  follow  him.  Where?  To  some 
Calvary,  to  the  place  and  hour  where  the  cross 
can  be  set  and  the  bearer  suffer  crucifixion 
that  will  enable  him  to  find  the  life  with  Jesus 
Christ  beyond  the  days  of  cross-bearing,  be¬ 
yond  the  place  of  Golgotha,  beyond  the  bitter¬ 
ness  of  the  myrrh  and  vinegar  and  railings  of 
Calvary.  Our  Lord  supplies  crosses  for  men 
that  they  by  the  cross  may  die  unto  sin  and  live 
again  unto  God.  Here  is  the  tragedy  of  Chris- 


94  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

tianity.  Men,  instead  of  using  the  cross  for 
what  it  was  intended,  carry  it  about  as  a  burden 
until  it  becomes  the  stigma  of  their  faith.  In¬ 
stead  of  bringing  the  relief  and  the  escape 
Christ  intended,  it  becomes  a  depression,  a 
weight  and  a  thing  of  grief,  from  which  men 
seek  to  flee  rather  than  accept  as  the  good  news 
of  an  evangel.  What  then  follows  as  a  calamity 
if  the  ministry  also  fails  to  realize  in  experience 
the  purpose  and  intention  of  the  cross?  Both 
leader  and  people  miss  the  vital  teaching  of  our 
Lord  in  the  cross  and  the  central  truths  of  dis- 
cipleship.  A  cross-bearing  Christianity  is  repu¬ 
diated  by  the  world.  It  already  has  enough 
crosses,  enough  burdens,  enough  suffering.  It 
seeks  relief  and  escape.  It  wants  some  one  to 
tell  it  how  to  pick  up  its  crosses  and  dispose  of 
them.  Christ  replies,  “Lift  up  your  cross,  fol¬ 
low  me.  I  will  tell  you  what  to  do  with  it.”  He 
helps  men  find  their  Calvary  which  answers  the 
question  of  the  cross.  But  in  this  is  hidden  the 
minister’s  spiritual  crisis.  He  does  not  willingly 
approach  the  experience  of  self-crucifixion.  It 
is  easier  to  wear  the  cross  as  an  ornament  or  to 
worship  it  as  a  symbol  than  to  let  it  serve 
Christ’s  purpose  in  the  life.  It  is  not  easy  to 


Looking  into  the  Depths  95 

die  by  crucifixion.  The  minister  must  not  fail 
Christ  at  this  point.  The  people  may.  They 
are  prone  to  wander  about  the  earth  carrying 
their  crosses  on  their  shoulders.  They  are  not 
willing  to  pay  the  price  of  crucifixion  in  order 
to  obtain  the  life  that  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God. 
But  he  is  under  an  inner  compulsion  to  bear  his 
cross,  despising  the  shame,  until  Christ  gives  him 
the  victory  in  some  Gethsemane  and  the  final 
triumph  on  some  Calvary.  In  this  experience  is 
his  one  unsurpassed  spiritual  crisis.  Before  it 
all  others  pale  into  insignificance.  This  one  is 
paramount  and  preeminent.  Without  this  high 
level  of  self-surrender  the  deep  realizations  of 
discipleship  are  not  attained.  Without  it  one 
never  qualifies  in  worthiness  for  the  ministry  of 
Jesus  Christ.  Without  it  spiritual  tragedy  an¬ 
nounces  the  ultimate  ruin  of  faith  and  the  atro¬ 
phy  of  Christian  character. 

THE  VOCATIONAL  CRISIS 

I  have  insisted  that  the  Christian  ministry  is 
a  calling  and  must  not  be  conceived  of  as  being 
among  the  gainful  pursuits.  Furthermore,  I 
have  sought  to  prove  that  it  is  not  a  profession. 


96  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

Many  have  been  led  to  think  of  the  two  as 
identical  because  both  seem  to  travel  the  same 
path,  at  least  to  a  certain  point,  in  their  develop¬ 
ment.  They  are  occupations  that  involve  a 
liberal  education  and  engage  themselves  in 
mental  rather  than  in  manual  labor.  But  they 
begin  to  diverge  at  any  one  of  three  points,  fi¬ 
nancial  profit,  moral  emphasis,  spiritual  insist¬ 
ence.  Man’s  desire  for  intellectual  pursuits 
leads  him  into  the  professions.  The  monetary 
gains  at  the  start  are  secondary.  Later  they 
may  become  primary.  Man’s  desire  for  spirit¬ 
ual  and  moral  supremacy  leads  him  into  the  min¬ 
istry.  Under  this  impulse  he  thinks  not  of  fi¬ 
nancial  returns.  The  thing  that  appeals  to 
other  thoughtful  and  frugal  men  has  no  effect  on 
him.  He  seems  to  have  a  strange  obsession  that 
wealth  is  not  found  in  gold  and  stocks  and  bonds, 
but  rather  in  a  life  of  sacrificial  service.  It  is  a 
question  whether  this  is  not  an  illusion,  a  de¬ 
ception  of  youth  that  later  results  in  an  un¬ 
happy  disillusionment.  An  analytical  study  of 
this  experience  does  not  fail  to  answer  the  ques¬ 
tion  satisfactorily.  It  is  not  a  cunning  fraud, 
but  proves  to  be  a  most  wonderful  support  of 
our  faith  in  the  operation  of  God’s  Holy  Spirit 


Looking  into  the  Depths  97 

on  the  mind  of  man.  It  finds  its  origin  in  a  sub¬ 
jective  impression  that  captures  the  powers  of 
both  mind  and  body.  He  passes  under  the  con¬ 
trol  of  considerations  that  do  not  have  their 
foundations  upon  the  earth,  that  do  not  find 
their  origin  among  the  common  experiences  of 
men,  that  do  not  rest  their  valuation  on  the 
basis  of  human  merit  and  earthly  calculation. 

After  the  ministry  parts  company  with  the 
professions  at  any  one  of  the  points  of  diver¬ 
gence  what  does  it  become?  Does  it  appear  as 
a  calling?  What  is  meant  by  the  word  “call¬ 
ing”?  What  do  we  mean  by  the  phrase,  “called 
of  God  to  the  ministry”?  Not  that  the  man  has 
heard  a  voice  from  heaven.  Rather,  he  has  re¬ 
ceived  an  inner  impression  that  he  must  be  a 
minister  of  Jesus  Christ.  This  conception  car¬ 
ries  with  it  an  impulsion  that  takes  captive  the 
will,  frequently  against  the  counsels  of  the  saner 
judgment,  that  in  its  encroachments  upon  the 
spirit  of  the  individual  produces  a  crisis  which 
throws  the  entire  mental  equipment  into  a  state 
of  resistance  for  many  days  and  which  demands 
surrender  at  the  cost  of  future  happiness  and 
threatened  waste  of  the  life.  The  individual 
being  controlled  and  his  future  determined  by 


98  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

a  power,  that  seems  not  his  own,  interprets  the 
impulsion  as  the  voice  of  God.  He  is  “called  to 
the  ministry.”  There  he  becomes  engaged  not 
in  an  avocation ,  a  casual  or  transient  occupa¬ 
tion,  or  daily  or  periodic  diversion,  but  in  a  call¬ 
ing  that  leads  him  forward,  demanding  of  him 
the  expenditure  of  his  powers,  not  as  he  would, 
but  as  the  strange  force  that  controls  him  from 
within  would  direct.  His  ministry  becomes  to 
him  not  a  profession,  with  pitfalls  of  profession¬ 
alism,  but  a  vocation  which  affords  him  his  regu¬ 
lar  occupation,  enabling  him  to  work  out  a 
career  of  usefulness  in  the  field  of  religion.  The 
ministry  is  primarily  a  calling,  because  the  in¬ 
dividual  comes  to  have  within  him  an  ineradica¬ 
ble  and  dominant  impression,  that  is  not  born  of 
his  own  inclinations,  that  he  must  be  a  minister 
of  Jesus  Christ.  The  ministry  is  furthermore  a 
calling,  because  it  is  not  based  upon  considera¬ 
tions  that  rise  from  the  field  of  self-interest,  but 
from  the  appeals  that  come  through  the  suffer¬ 
ing  and  perplexities  of  misguided  and  blunder¬ 
ing  humanity.  The  minister  is  the  unit  out  of 
which  issues  the  dynamic  of  “otherism,”  which 
becomes  the  unifying  power  of  the  community 
life.  His  is  a  vocation,  a  calling,  that  spends  it- 


Looking  into  the  Depths  99 

self  in  “behalf  of  others”  in  the  face  of  the  most 
potent  instinct  known  in  human  life,  that  of  self- 
interest.  Here  is  found  his  constant  peril.  It 
seldom  is  permanently  disposed  of  with  any  de¬ 
gree  of  satisfaction.  Self-interest  asserts  itself 
in  a  thousand  different  ways.  In  many  minis¬ 
ters  it  finally  brings  on  a  struggle  that  results  in 
spiritual  tragedy.  It  produces  his  vocational 
crisis. 

This  experience  appears  mostly  after  the  en¬ 
trance  into  what  is  known  as  middle  life.  It 
may  appear  as  the  result  of  any  one  or  all  of 
three  causes. 

First ,  a  subsidence  of  the  sacrificial  impulse. 

Second ,  the  appearance  of  a  gnawing  money 
hunger. 

Third the  consciousness  of  an  uncertain  fu¬ 
ture.  As  a  minister  grows  older  he  learns  by  ex¬ 
perience,  if  he  is  wise.  He  gives  himself  with¬ 
out  stint  through  the  years  and  discovers  that 
much  of  his  sacrifice  has  been  apparently  in 
vain.  Human  nature  gives  way.  Human  judg¬ 
ment  refuses  longer  to  accredit  the  course  of  life 
he  is  pursuing.  The  sacrificial  impulse  begins 
to  recede.  He  finds  himself  under  the  lash  of 
his  will  in  the  performances  of  his  duty.  He  does 


100  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

not  do  them  because  he  loves  them.  Instead  of 
being  under  impulsion  as  he  was  in  his  younger 
days,  he  is  driven  by  compulsion.  His  heart’s 
desire  for  his  work  has  passed  away.  He  is  no 
longer  a  minister  of  Jesus  Christ,  obeying  the 
commands  of  a  Heavenly  calling,  but  a  servant 
of  the  church,  performing  the  functions  of  a 
profession  to  which  he  has  transferred  his  al¬ 
legiance,  and  in  which  he  seeks  to  lose  himself 
in  the  interests  of  a  ministerial  order  rather  than 
in  behalf  of  the  life  of  that  broader  field  of  hu¬ 
manity  to  which  his  original  call  dedicated  him. 
The  professional  minister  is  a  travesty  on  his 
kind.  A  spent  minister  at  the  middle  years  of 
life  is  like  a  “dud”  lying  in  the  sun  on  a  forsaken 
battlefield.  Both  failed  at  the  moment  of  crisis. 
Both  are  objects  of  interest,  in  that  they  carry 
power  of  destruction  for  an  enemy  but  fell  to 
the  ground,  failing  to  accomplish  their  destined 
end.  For  the  minister  is  prone  to  find  his  minis¬ 
try  verging  towards  its  termination  at  the  zenith 
of  his  intellectual  and  moral  powers.  The  voca¬ 
tional  crisis  is  on.  The  impulse  to  sacrifice  and 
to  minister  succumbs  to  his  intincts  to  dominate, 
to  be  ministered  unto.  Having  gained  power 
and  place  and  name  by  sacrifice  the  old  self 


Looking  into  the  Depths  101 

comes  forth  seeking  to  make  of  them  means  of 
return  service,  means  of  command  rather  than 
obedience,  means  of  receiving  rather  than  of 
giving,  means  of  moving  the  location  of  the  life 
“from  the  house  beside  the  road  where  the  race 
of  men  go  by”  in  need  of  friendly  service  to  the 
remote  location  where  prominence  and  eminence 
forbid  that  giving  of  the  life  in  obedience  to  the 
example  of  sacrifice  made  by  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ.  This  proves  to  be  a  subtle  vocational 
crisis.  What  man  is  able  to  pass  through  it  and 
maintain  his  spiritual  integrity?  Only  he  who 
refuses  to  forsake  the  place  of  devotion  and  re¬ 
solves  to  stand  in  defense  of  the  early  impulses 
that  led  him  to  give  himself  to  the  ministry. 
Only  he  who  insists  with  a  determination  that 
will  not  be  resisted  to  fight  it  through  in  the 
name  of  Jesus  Christ. 

But  the  most  powerful  influence  that  pro¬ 
duces  the  vocational  crisis  in  the  ministry  is  the 
appearance  in  a  man’s  life  of  “money  hunger.” 
This  may  prove  to  be  the  tragedy  of  a  minister 
who  has  business  instincts.  During  his  early 
years  the  sacrificial  impulses  controlled  him. 
As  the  years  pass  the  restrained  instincts  find 
limited  expression,  but  sufficient  to  gradually 


102  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

develop  them  into  such  form  as  to  enable  them 
at  times  to  gain  temporary  control.  The  busi¬ 
ness  of  the  church  and  of  the  Kingdom  of  Christ 
calls  them  forth  into  action.  Increasing  duties 
of  administration  and  of  organization  and  of 
money  raising  contribute  to  their  encourage¬ 
ment.  The  man  who  raises  thousands  of  dollars 
for  others  suddenly  becomes  conscious  that  he 
is  penniless  himself,  that  he  has  unusual  money¬ 
earning  power.  Then  appears  the  temptation  of 
“money  hunger.”  Subtle,  powerful,  enhancing 
and  at  times  enchanting  wealth,  gold,  ease,  com¬ 
fort.  The  sense  of  thrift  awakens  and  asserts 
itself.  The  sense  of  frugality  appears  in  im¬ 
perial  command.  Prodigality  is  discredited. 
Improvidence  is  expelled.  All  the  children  of 
poverty,  shiftlessness,  carelessness,  imprudence 
and  thriftlessness  are  driven  out.  He  stands 
possessed  by  a  hunger  for  possession  that  con¬ 
trols  his  thought  both  night  and  day.  The  min¬ 
ister  becomes  worldly  wise.  His  mind  loses  its 
fine  spiritual  discernment  and  functions  with  the 
greatest  facility  in  the  secular  realm.  The 
struggle  increases  between  the  impulse  to  con¬ 
tinue  in  the  ministry  and  a  desire  to  leave  it  for 
more  lucrative  pursuits.  The  outcome  may 


Looking  into  the  Depths  103 

easily  be  predicted.  One  of  two  things  happens; 
either  he  throttles  that  maddening  hunger  by 
agonizing  prayer,  or  it  produces  a  spiritual 
paralysis  that  announces  the  beginning  of  the 
end  of  his  ministry.  For  the  most  dreadjul  ruin 
overtakes  the  splendid  spiritual  powers  of  God’s 
prophet  when  he  fails  to  decisively  settle  with 
his  natural  instinct  for  gaining  wealth  and  pos¬ 
sessions. 

Another  unsettling  experience  that  produces  a 
vocational  crisis  is  the  appearance  of  an  uncer¬ 
tain  future.  The  years  have  passed.  Youth  is 
gone,  manhood  is  well  spent,  habits  are  formed 
and  set,  the  period  for  new  learning  has  flown. 
Age  is  near  at  hand.  Only  a  few  years  of 
effectiveness  are  left.  What  will  he  do  as  a  min¬ 
ister  when  he  is  no  longer  desired?  What  else 
can  he  do?  Nothing!  Business  does  not  want 
him.  Labor  has  no  place  for  him.  He  cannot 
qualify  for  any  of  the  professions.  He  cannot 
turn  from  the  path  in  which  he  has  walked  so 
long.  It  narrows  before  him.  He  has  saved 
little.  He  has  no  competence.  The  evening 
time  of  life  is  near.  Instead  of  the  path  of  the 
just  shining  brighter  and  brighter  even  unto  the 
perfect  day  he  finds  its  end  drawing  near  with  a 


104  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

dark  cloud  upon  it.  Perhaps  for  the  first  time  in 
his  life  he  is  shaken  by  uncertainty.  The  facts 
of  life  stagger  his  faith.  For  a  day  his  heart  re¬ 
fuses  to  accept  the  duties  of  his  daily  vocation. 
A  crisis  is  on.  His  mind  grows  sick.  His  spirit¬ 
ual  vision  darkens.  His  entire  being  is  in  revolt. 
If  he  understands  himself  he  turns  to  prayer  and 
through  communion  with  Jesus  Christ  escapes 
the  peril  confronting  him.  If  he  is  unwise  he 
surrenders  blindly  to  that  uncertainty.  It  comes 
to  rule  his  thought  and  to  direct  his  life.  If 
he  remains  in  the  ministry  he  will  become  pes¬ 
simistic,  morose,  in  his  heart  an  unbeliever  and 
in  his  daily  ministrations  a  contemptuous  hypo¬ 
crite  and  a  pathetic  example  of  the  ruin  of  a 
faithful  minister  in  the  afternoon  of  life  by  the 
play  of  an  uncertain  future  upon  the  delicate 
spiritual  powers  that  God  had  blessed  with 
prophetic  expression.  The  vocational  crisis  may 
not  directly  relate  itself  to  the  minister’s  faith 
or  moral  character,  but  it  does  threaten  his  ef¬ 
fectiveness  and  ultimately  imperil  his  consecra¬ 
tion.  It  is  the  pit  into  which  a  man,  once  having 
fallen,  is  never  restored  without  great  loss  and 
manifest  evidence  of  an  impairment  of  spiritual 
power. 


Ill 


THE  PRESENT  CRITICAL  MOMENT 

A  familiar  understanding  of  the  perils  that 
confront  the  minister  will  furnish  an  explanation 
of  the  present-day  crisis.  The  situation  is  not 
difficult  of  analysis.  If  a  crisis  is  acknowledged 
the  causes  producing  it  readily  appear.  They 
are  not  to  be  found  in  a  personal  study  of  any 
one  individual  case.  The  investigation  must  be 
made  in  the  field  as  a  whole.  They  must  be 
looked  for  not  in  the  minister  but  in  the  minis¬ 
try.  What  then  is  to  be  recorded?  There  is  a 
perceptible  let  down  in  ideals,  a  manifest  preva¬ 
lence  of  a  limited  unanimity  of  opinion  and  a  re¬ 
grettable  lack  of  solidarity  of  conviction.  There 
is  not  a  larger  company  who  are  agreed  on  what 
they  most  steadfastly  believe.  If  universal 
agreement  is  demanded  it  is  found  to  exist  but 
it  has  been  reduced  to  the  lowest  possible  state¬ 
ment  of  fundamentals  which  scarcely  touch  the 
highly  particularized  truth  of  Christianity. 
This  has  largely  affected  the  message  of  the 

pulpit  and  limited  its  success.  It  has  shattered 

105 


106  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

the  morale  of  the  ministry,  producing  too  many 
failures,  too  many  retirements,  too  many  with¬ 
drawals,  too  many  moral  breakdowns,  too  many 
spiritual  tragedies,  too  much  secularizing,  too 
much  loosening  up,  too  much  cooling  of  evan¬ 
gelistic  ardor.  There  can  be  no  question  of  the 
claim  that  the  ministry  is  passing  through  an 
unprecedented  crisis. 

However,  all  dismay  should  be  allayed  by  the 
assurance  that  this  prevailing  condition  can  be 
explained  and  should  be  regarded  as  only  a 
temporary  embarrassment  that  will  soon  pass 
away,  though  at  the  time  the  cost  drives  the 
ministry  almost  to  the  edge  of  moral  and  spirit¬ 
ual  catastrophe. 

The  ultimate  source  of  the  present  trouble  is 
found  in  the  close  relation  existing  between  the 
church  and  the  world.  Both  are  subject  to  the 
laws  of  action  and  reaction.  This  is  as  unvary¬ 
ing  in  its  operation  as  the  law  of  gravitation.  It 
produces  periods  that  appear  as  regular  cycles. 
These  have  been  characterized  as  a  period  of  pros¬ 
perity ,  when  wages  and  business  flourish;  a  pe¬ 
riod  of  decline  when  falling  prices  and  unemploy¬ 
ment  produce  pessimism;  a  period  of  depression 


Looking  into  the  Depths  107 

when  low  wages  and  small  returns  produce  hard 
times;  a  period  of  improvement  when  prices  be¬ 
gin  to  rise,  demand  for  labor  increases,  produc¬ 
tion  accelerates  and  the  wheels  of  business  be¬ 
gin  to  make  sweet  music.  The  church  accom¬ 
panies  the  world  through  these  cycles,  especially 
during  the  periods  of  decline  and  depression. 
The  moral  laxity  resulting  in  crime  waves 
reaches  over  into  the  life  of  the  church  and  its 
ministry.  All  along  the  line  of  contact  there  is 
a  penetration  of  the  influence  from  which  the 
world  is  suffering.  There  are  always  ministers 
located  along  this  line.  They  operate  in  the 
zone  that  bears  the  strong  impact  of  the  world. 
They  have  taken  up  the  position  there  by  their 
own  choice.  They  may  be  called  borderland 
ministers.  They  go  back  and  forth  from  secu¬ 
lar  to  sacred  duties.  They  do  not  hesitate  to 
assume  worldly  responsibilities  when  they  feel 
they  can  give  a  service.  They  expose  them¬ 
selves  to  the  influence  and  cross  fire  of  the 
world.  They  avoid  the  appearance  of  being 
ministers.  They  believe  conformity  to  the  world 
is  profitable.  They  take  up  their  habitation 
along  the  borderline  of  the  kingdom  of  God,  not 


108  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

knowing  that  there  they  may  be  overtaken  by 
the  storms  that  sweep  the  barren  places  of  the 
world. 

When  the  moral  restraints  of  men  in  the  secu¬ 
lar  walks  of  life  loosen  up  and  give  down  these 
ministers  serving  along  the  borders  between  the 
church  and  the  world  respond  to  it  almost  at 
once.  If  they  are  spiritually  sensitive,  they  re¬ 
act  by  a  girding  up  of  their  moral  forces  to  resist 
and  successfully  hold  their  ground,  while  others 
not  on  their  guard  are  swept  off  their  feet.  The 
crime  wave  prostrating  the  world  gets  them. 
The  moral  laxity  lets  them  down.  Being  too 
near  the  brink  the  storm  sweeps  them  over. 
They  get  vertigo  and  fall.  Of  the  three  types 
of  ministers,  those  with  the  Christ-conscious - 
ness,  those  with  the  hireling-consciousness,  and 
those  with  the  opportunist-consciousness ,  the 
two  latter  suffer  deeply.  Their  ranks  are 
trimmed  and  their  personality  shattered.  Those 
who  do  not  succumb  are  either  driven  from  their 
position  into  spiritual  crisis  or  are  confirmed  in 
their  loose  ideas  of  what  a  minister  should  be 
and  settle  on  the  moral  level,  denying  those 
higher  ranges  of  personal  righteousness  where 
holiness  unto  the  Lord  confirms  the  life  which 


Looking  into  the  Depths  109 

distinguishes  a  man  as  being  anointed  of  God 
to  preach  the  gospel  of  Christ. 

What  then  is  the  protection  of  the  minister 
during  the  periods  when  the  world  is  passing 
through  its  declining  and  returning  cycles?  His 
only  escape  is  by  the  gate  of  spiritual  insistence. 
The  elemental  impulses  of  his  nature  as  it  seeks 
to  find  refuge  in  God  must  be  released  and  in¬ 
cited  by  prayer  to  their  highest  activity.  He 
should  always  be  under  the  impulsion  to  rise  to 
the  level  of  spiritual  genius.  If  he  does  not  pos¬ 
sess  this  by  nature  he  must  develop  it  or  pass 
into  mediocrity.  Without  it,  he  can  attain  only 
to  a  subordinate  place  as  a  spiritual  leader. 

Again,  the  man  of  urgency  of  spirit  is  con¬ 
fronted  by  the  necessity  of  struggling  unto 
blood  if  those  heights  of  power  and  self-realiza¬ 
tion  are  to  be  attained.  He  must  resolve  to  pay 
the  price  for  genius,  and  if  need  be  lash  and 
storm  and  beat  about  in  the  depths  and  roll  and 
toss  in  agony  on  the  heights  until  his  soul  grows 
in  capacity  to  embrace  the  whole  of  life.  For 
if  a  minister  is  not  distinguished  for  spiritual 
genius  he  cannot  be  considered  a  man  set  apart 
from  other  men  for  his  holy  office.  God  calls 
him  to  development  along  the  line  of  highest 


110  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

tendencies  of  his  spiritual  gifts.  He  selected 
him  because  of  his  native  endowments.  Then 
he  places  him  under  the  compulsion  of  raising 
them  to  a  degree  of  highly  specialized  propor¬ 
tions.  He  places  him  under  the  spell  of  genius. 
Now  the  genius  is  a  man  apart.  Genius  strug¬ 
gles  at  night  beneath  the  stars.  Genius  holds  on 
with  the  unseen  wrestler  until  the  break  of  day. 
Genius  learns  that  the  secret  of  God  comes  not 
by  surrendering  but  by  that  ancient  resolve,  “I 
will  not  let  thee  go  until  thou  bless  me.”  Was 
not  that  old  bearded  philosopher,  Thomas  Car¬ 
lyle,  right  in  his  definition  when  he  was  asked, 
“What  is  a  genius?”  and  he  responded,  “A 
genius  is  a  ship  burning  at  sea  for  the  benefit  of 
the  spectators.”  How  applicable  to  a  minister 
of  Jesus  Christ  who  has  paid  the  price  of  strug¬ 
gle  to  gain  the  heights  of  the  spiritual  life  and 
who  has  experienced  the  burning  of  the  divine 
fire  that  produces  out  of  the  dullness  of  the  hu¬ 
man  soul  that  spiritual  genius  which  God  can  use 
as  a  theophany  in  every  crisis  of  the  life  of  his 
people. 

The  minister  must  have  an  aptitude  for  spirit¬ 
uality.  By  this  we  mean  genius.  He  rises  to 
the  summit  of  the  human  mind.  From  its  prom- 


Looking  into  the  Depths  111 

ontory  he  expects  to  behold  God.  He  must  be 
able  to  cause  others  to  follow  him.  They  are 
phlegmatic.  He  must  fire  them  with  enthusiasm 
that  will  lead  them  to  pay  the  price  of  a  difficult 
achievement.  He  must  be  a  man  of  warmth, 
at  times  a  man  of  fire.  His  emotions  kindle 
quickly.  They  burn  not  to  draw  fire  but  to 
spread  it.  He  may  attain  the  capacity  of  great 
souls — the  power  to  be  importunate  and  judi¬ 
ciously  insistent.  He  may  acquire  a  highly  de¬ 
veloped  personality  that  becomes  voltaic  with  a 
broadcasting  capacity  that  cannot  be  resisted. 
Then  he  may  accomplish  the  place  of  spiritual 
genius  when  men  acclaim  him  as  one  sent  from 
Heaven,  whose  voice  strikes  the  note  of  the 
prophets,  and  whose  words  fall  upon  the  weary 
ears  of  hungered  humanity  as  the  assurance  of 
a  merciful  and  forgiving  God. 

This  attainment  on  the  part  of  a  minister  of 
Jesus  Christ  is  a  divine  gift.  It  comes  not  as  a 
sealed  package  to  be  opened  and  enjoyed.  It  is 
given  potentiality  which,  received,  is  to  be  trans¬ 
formed  later  into  a  dynamic.  The  soul  once  hav¬ 
ing  this  within  its  possession  begins  that  spiritual 
course  which  leads  to  conquest  by  conflict  and 
to  repeated  victory  by  a  progressive  passage 


112  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

from  grace  unto  grace,  until  the  supremacy  of 
Jesus  Christ  is  established  in  the  life, 

God  has  not  failed  to  make  ample  provision 
for  this  spiritual  Odyssey.  It  is  promised  to 
find  its  origin  in  a  baptism  of  fire.  “He  shall 
baptize  you  with  the  Holy  Spirit  and  with  fire.” 
An  experience  symbolizing  to  the  human  mind 
the  most  intense  suffering.  A  baptism  of  fire! 
Before  such  an  offer  man’s  spirit  resists.  Sub¬ 
mission  means  elimination  by  a  consuming 
flame.  Who  can  consent  unto  it?  The  minister 
is  under  an  inner  compulsion.  Something  within 
holds  him  to  it.  Like  Prometheus  he  is  decreed 
to  the  devouring  flames  that  fail  not  until  they 
have  wrought  the  will  of  God.  When  deliver¬ 
ance  is  attained  for  him  he  cannot  be  as  other 
men.  Like  Lazarus,  after  his  resurrection  and 
return  to  life,  nothing  can  again  be  common  or 
unclean.  Like  St.  Paul,  after  his  visit  to  the 
seventh  heaven,  he  hath  seen  and  felt  things 
not  allotted  to  the  eyes  of  man.  He  has  walked 
with  God  and  no  man  can  stand  with  him  and 
understand  the  extent  of  his  transcendence. 

The  immense  distances  separating  the  true 
minister  and  other  men  in  public  life  are  infinite 
and  immeasurable. 


PART  III:  ESCAPE  FROM  THE 

DEPTHS 


“The  good  minister  of  Jesus  Christ  must  base  the  spirit 
and  method  of  his  ministry  on  the  spirit  and  method  of 
Jesus  Christ’s  earthly  life  and  service.  The  Master  and 
the  men  must  have  the  same  principles.  With  every 
allowance  for  what  is  different,  the  modern  ministry  can 
only  be  saved  by  its  essential  resemblances  to  that  early 
and  perfect  ministry.  And  the  modern  ministry  needs  to 
be  saved  all  the  time  from  a  lot  of  things,  such  as  low 
ideals,  officialism,  professionalism,  commercialism  and 
discouragement.  The  ministry  ever  tends  to  be  con¬ 
formed  to  the  world  around  it  rather  than  to  be  trans¬ 
formed  by  the  renewing  of  its  mind.  It  is  always 
tempted  to  shape  its  message  by  what  the  people  will 
stand  than  to  speak  the  words  of  Christ.” 

Bishop  W.  F.  McDowell. 


Part  III:  Escape  from  the 
Depths 

The  Young  Minister  Recovers  Faith 

Many  months  have  passed  since  I  had  that 
memorable  conversation  with  the  perplexed 
young  minister.  A  communication  from  him  is 
before  me.  He  was  planning  to  be  in  my  city 
and  would  be  glad  to  see  me.  Within  two  hours 
I  would  again  look  into  his  face.  I  reread  the 
letter  with  greater  care.  There  was  one  sentence 
that  stood  out  with  emphasis.  “I  have  fought 
through.  I  have  come  back.  I  want  to  tell  you 
about  it.”  These  were  just  such  words  as  I  was 
expecting.  He  could  not  go  forth  with  a  resolu¬ 
tion  to  fight  through  without  at  last  gaining  a 
permanent  victory.  What  he  had  been  had 
greatly  interested  me.  What  he  had  become 
might  be  beyond  my  anticipation. 

He  had  been  a  type  in  the  ministry.  One  that 
flashed  and  glowed.  One  whose  fragrance  was 
as  a  summer  day.  One  whose  optimism  was  as 

crystal,  without  a  shadow  or  a  flaw.  One  whose 

115 


116  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

conscience  seemed  without  edge,  whose  shoul¬ 
ders  were  without  a  burden,  whose  heart  was 
without  a  care,  whose  reason  was  without  a 
problem,  whose  spirit  was  without  a  perplexity. 
He  was  one  of  those  whose  journey  had  not 
taken  him  far  enough  into  the  world  to  reveal  to 
him  its  deep  shadows,  whose  experience  had  not 
uncovered  the  darkness  of  human  tragedy.  He 
had  not  been  awakened.  He  had  not  received 
the  jolt  of  disillusionment.  To  him  religion  had 
been  something  of  a  lark,  while  Christianity  was 
the  quintessence  of  optimism  in  the  presence  of 
a  cloudless  sky.  What  a  state  of  mind  to  be 
in!  Who  would  seek  to  have  him  otherwise? 
It  would  be  wicked  to  wish  on  him  the  storm 
clouds  that  would  spoil  his  summer  dreams, 
were  it  not  for  the  fact  that  such  a  man  cannot 
long  remain  a  messenger  of  Jesus  Christ  with¬ 
out  passing  through  a  period  of  storm  and  stress. 
A  minister  whose  eyes  have  not  been  opened, 
who  sees  men  as  trees  walking,  who  has  no  ap¬ 
preciation  of  the  marred  human  form  and  passes 
it  as  part  of  the  wood  and  lumber  of  life,  needs 
the  visualizing  touch  of  the  divine  hand.  The 
minister  who  has  not  had  his  ears  opened  to  the 
cry  rising  from  the  human  breast  under  the  uni- 


Escape  from  the  Depths  117 

versal  reign  of  pain,  who  can  walk  demurely  in 
the  midst  of  human  failure,  suffering  and  de¬ 
crepitude,  poverty,  want,  rags,  hunger,  vicious¬ 
ness  and  ugly  selfishness  and  never  hear  the  wail 
of  it,  needs  to  have  the  amplifier  of  God’s  eternal 
judgment  to  awaken  him  to  the  responsibility  of 
that  divine  decree,  “Woe  art  thou  if  thou 
preachest  not  my  gospel!” 

No,  I  would  not  have  the  hopefulness  of 
youth  turned  to  the  cynicism  of  maturity.  I 
think  a  minister  should  possess  that  serious  con¬ 
ception  of  life  that  would  at  least  support  his 
claim  that  he  is  following  in  all  prayerfulness 
the  footsteps  of  Jesus  Christ.  The  world  should 
not  be  a  paradise,  humanity  should  not  be  as 
dwellers  in  Arcadia  to  the  minister.  He  should 
see  this  realm  as  it  is  with  its  amalgam  of  lights 
and  shadows,  its  rights  and  wrongs,  its  strug¬ 
gles  and  its  failures,  its  despair  and  its  triumphs, 
its  deadening  doubts  and  its  rapturous  faiths. 
He  should  at  times  have  some  sense  of  baffle¬ 
ment  before  perplexities.  He  should  at  least 
reveal  the  temporary  working  of  a  troubled  con¬ 
science.  A  manifestation  of  a  divided  self 
should  make  others  feel  he  has  some  connection 
with  common  humanity.  He  must  make  people 


118  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

aware  of  his  effort  to  follow  Jesus  of  Nazareth, 
who  was  one  with  a  wilderness  temptation,  who 
was  one  with  an  experience  of  mob  violence, 
who  was  one  with  leper  contact,  who  was  one  in 
whom  fiery  indignation  burned  before  the  hy¬ 
pocrisy  of  the  scribes  and  Pharisees,  whose  self¬ 
ishness  withheld  bread  from  hungry  children  for 
a  price  and  devoured  widows’  houses  in  the 
name  of  economic  justice;  who  was  one  familiar 
with  the  shadows  and  loneliness  of  Gethsemane, 
who  was  one  with  an  experience  in  Pilate’s  hall 
with  its  humiliations,  its  thongs,  its  hurtful 
stripes,  its  crown  of  thorns  and  its  cruel  mock- 
ings;  who  was  one  with  a  memory  of  Golgotha 
and  its  rugged  cross,  its  railing  crowds,  its  hard¬ 
ened  soldiers,  its  cup  of  vinegar,  and  myrrh,  its 
ghastly  hour  of  darkness  and  its  bitter  cry,  “My 
God,  my  God,  why  hast  thooi  forsaken  me?” 

Yes,  the  man  claiming  to  be  a  minister,  who 
has  not  felt  the  demand  for  a  burning  invective 
against  sin,  who  has  no  appreciation  of  the  im¬ 
pulse  that  sent  his  Lord  into  the  temple  armed 
with  whipcords  to  drive  out  the  money  chang¬ 
ers  whose  striving  and  thieving  had  laid  hold  of 
the  very  altars  of  prayer  and  sacrifice,  who 
would  turn  his  back  upon  the  Christ  of  indigna- 


Escape  from  the  Depths  119 

tion  and  violence,  who  would  not  approach  to 
follow  him,  who  would  fear  and  flee  from  him, 
that  man,  that  minister,  needs  an  awakening,  a 
disillusionment.  When  such  an  experience 
comes  he  will  stand  with  ashen  lips  saying, 
“How  can  God  stand  it?” 

I  am  of  the  conviction  that  the  thoroughly 
initiated  minister  is  not  a  man  with  a  perpetual 
virgin  smile.  He  is  one  whose  face  is  marked 
by  the  fact  that  he  shares  some  part  of  the 
world’s  burden.  Those  who  look  upon  him  see 
the  sweat  of  a  recent  struggle  still  clinging  to 
his  soul.  Why  should  he  take  himself  so  seri¬ 
ously?  Why  should  he  not  receive  the  world 
as  it  is  with  concealed  laughter?  Why  does  he 
not  accept  its  bafflements  with  a  smile  of  mild 
cynicism?  If  he  had  found  Jesus  Christ  in  a 
personal  experience  he  can  answer  these  ques¬ 
tions  with  eminent  satisfaction.  In  that  inci¬ 
dent  lies  the  secret  of  escape  from  the  earth 
pull  of  despair,  and  the  release  from  the  tighten¬ 
ing  tentacles  of  pessimism.  Those  who  resolve 
to  fight  it  through  appear  with  faces  seamed 
and  scarred  as  though  some  sculptor  had  sought 
to  bring  out  the  deep  lines  of  experience  and  un¬ 
cover  the  shades  and  shadows  of  character  that 


120  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

display  the  struggles  of  a  personality  in  its  ef¬ 
forts  to  realize  the  high  differentiations  that  dis¬ 
tinguish  the  human  spirit  among  the  immortal 
creatures  of  God. 

In  this  is  found  the  inscrutable  mystery  of 
the  spiritual  life  of  the  minister.  He  is  com¬ 
pelled  to  maintain  his  interest  in  spiritual  ener¬ 
gies  in  the  midst  of  a  material  down-pull  that  is 
appalling.  They  drive  him  frequently  to  the 
edge  of  the  precipice  over  which  the  irrational 
would  draw  him  into  the  gulf  of  superstition. 
They  close  in  on  his  active  mental  powers,  seek¬ 
ing  ever  to  disassociate  them  from  the  realm  of 
reality.  They  lift  and  surge  within  him,  seeking 
always  to  make  and  enlarge  his  psychic  capaci¬ 
ties  and  to  reduce  his  physical  forces  to  the  dis¬ 
appearing  point.  He  must  be  a  man  and  remain 
subject  to  all  that  becomes  a  man  and  yet  main¬ 
tain  himself  on  high  spiritual  levels.  He  must 
preserve  his  balance.  He  is  under  the  impulse  to 
keep  his  face  toward  heaven  against  the  gravi¬ 
tation  that  makes  the  lines  of  his  anchorage  taut 
even  to  breaking.  This  man,  the  Christian  min¬ 
ister,  is  the  one  great  mystery  of  God’s  universe. 
He  is  its  most  outstanding  anomaly,  walking  in 
the  face  of  the  winds  of  creation. 


I 


OVER  A  LONG  TRAIL 

“So  you  have  fought  it  out?”  I  remarked 
after  the  usual  greeting.  “Sit  down  and  tell  me 
all  about  it.” 

“I  certainly  have,”  he  replied.  “I  am  none 
the  worse  for  the  fight  as  you  see.  The  strug¬ 
gle  was  bitter  at  times,  but  here  I  am  to  tell  you 
what  has  happened.” 

His  face  lighted  up  as  though  he  anticipated 

a  consummate  pleasure.  I  noticed  he  was 

changed  somewhat  in  appearance.  He  was  as 

a  man  who  had  gone  through  a  deep  experience 

that  had  tried  his  soul.  He  had  not  aged.  He 

had  matured.  From  his  face  had  gone  the  flush 

of  youth.  He  appeared  as  one  possessed  by  a 

profound  intention.  Evidences  of  a  growing 

thought-life  appeared  round  his  temples.  The 

furrows  of  mental  strife  were  beginning  to  open 

on  his  forehead.  Lines  of  moral  resolution  were 

displaying  themselves  about  his  mouth  and  chin. 

Spiritual  wrestlings  had  darkened  and  deepened 

121 


122  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

the  shadows  about  his  eyes  which  quietly  looked 
out  at  me  from  beneath  the  dense  brow  of  the 
forehead  that  overhung  them,  furnishing  pro¬ 
tection  against  any  effort  to  encroach  upon  the 
secrets  they  concealed.  Evidently  the  man  had 
found  himself.  Yes,  and  the  story  would  be  as 
interesting  as  the  romance  of  an  explorer  and  as 
thrilling  as  the  narrative  of  the  working  of  the 
mind  of  a  magician. 

“I  feel  under  a  great  obligation  to  you,”  he  re¬ 
sumed.  “Your  counsel  has  meant  more  to  me 
than  I  shall  ever  be  able  to  express.  When  I 
left  you  at  the  close  of  my  last  visit  I  was  greatly 
perplexed.  Only  my  resolution  to  ‘fight  it 
through’  saved  me  from  desperation.  I  could 
not  get  away  from  your  words.  When  I  came 
to  you  on  that  occasion  I  was  passing  through 
an  awakening.  My  ministry  had  been  without 
a  storm,  not  even  a  cloud.  I  was  living  my  life 
utterly  unconscious  of  the  misery  of  the  world. 
I  had  appreciation  only  for  its  happiness,  its 
sunshine,  and  its  springtime  songs.  The  day 
was  at  the  morning  for  me.  I  never  dreamed 
of  the  heat  and  fatigue  at  noonday.  Then  came 
the  hour  which  later  brought  me  to  you  with  a 
resentful  resolution  on  my  lips.  You  do  not 


Escape  from  the  Depths  123 

know  what  was  behind  that  display  of  ‘the  spirit 
of  the  quitter!’  ” 

“No,”  I  replied,  “perhaps  I  could  not  under¬ 
stand  if  you  should  relate  it.” 

“Oh,  no,  it  is  not  as  bad  as  that,”  he  an¬ 
swered,  with  a  smile.  “It  is  a  common  religious 
or  spiritual  experience,  I  judge,  that  comes  to 
young  men  in  the  ministry  these  days.” 

“Where  did  it  begin?”  I  inquired,  thinking  I 
could  assist  him  in  getting  started. 

“Your  words  about  the  Christo-centric  life 
were  the  check  to  my  downward  course.  The 
first  shock  that  doubt  gave  me  was  in  a  weak 
and  evil  moment  when  for  the  first  time  I  had  a 
question  rise  within  me  about  the  authority  of 
the  Bible.  I  had  been  almost  ten  years  out  of 
the  seminary  and  had  thought  I  had  settled  all 
major  questions  at  least  about  its  claims  and 
place  in  the  Christian  life.  Unexpectedly  I  was 
confronted  in  an  hour  of  opposition,  in  a  mo¬ 
ment  of  let-down,  by  a  sinister  doubt  that  arose 
from  the  consciousness  that  the  Scriptures  were 
not  the  word  of  God  as  I  had  thought  them  to 
be.  It  took  a  long  time  for  that  teaching  to  get 
through.  But  there  I  was,  stunned  by  the  first 
realization  that  the  book  I  had  held  in  such  high 


124  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

regard  was  nothing  more  than  a  human  record 
of  one  whom  humanity  had  come  to  worship 
as  God.” 

“Why  had  you  not  seen  that  before?”  I  in¬ 
quired.  “Strange  that  it  took  you  so  long  to 
discover  it.” 

“Perhaps  I  never  would  if  it  had  not  been  that 
adversity  struck  me  and  my  career  was  halted 
by  a  bitter  disappointment.” 

“Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  would  never 
have  awakened  to  the  place  and  value  of  the 
Bible  in  your  life  if  adverse  experiences  had  not 
overtaken  you?”  I  urged. 

“I  think  that  is  true,”  he  confessed.  “As  long 
as  things  went  well  with  me  I  seemed  to  have  no 
need  of  that  support.  Then  when  I  turned  to  it 
to  cast  the  weight  of  my  faith  upon  it,  I  found 
myself  deceived  and  humiliated.” 

“Then  you  were  really  standing  where  I  had 
located  you  with  the  Bible  as  the  center  of  your 
Christian  faith,”  I  answered,  as  I  sought  to  re¬ 
fresh  his  memory  on  my  former  contention. 
“What  brought  you  to  question  your  position?” 

“It  was  the  literary  interpretation  of  the 
Bible  that  caused  my  trouble,”  he  continued. 
“I  had  been  reared  in  a  home  where  that  book 


Escape  from  the  Depths  125 

was  considered  the  very  word  of  God.  It  was 
regarded  as  the  very  center  of  domestic  faith¬ 
fulness  and  of  the  Christian  life.  There  was 
never  any  question  raised  about  its  authenticity 
or  its  divine  authority.  It  was  infallible  and 
heaven-inspired.  When  taking  my  theological 
training  I  accepted  the  authority  of  the  scholars 
as  to  its  interpretation,  as  I  had  been  taught  to 
do.  I  did  not  question.  I  did  not  see  the  im¬ 
plications.  I  accepted  their  positions  and 
thought  I  was  advanced.  I  had  no  time,  per¬ 
haps  neither  the  ability  to  think  it  through  and 
went  forward  feeling  all  was  well.” 

“What  were  those  implications?”  I  asked  with 
concern. 

“I  cannot  mention  all  of  them,  but  for  in¬ 
stance,”  he  replied.  “The  conflict  between  the 
doctrinie  of  verbal  and  plenary  inspiration.” 

“Yes,  that  is  a  long  story  but  too  remote  for 
our  purpose  now,”  I  responded  with  the  inten¬ 
tion  to  hold  him  to  a  specific  answer. 

“Well,  if  I  must  name  the  one  thing  that  fi¬ 
nally  got  through  and  staggered  me,  it  was  the 
claim  that  the  language  of  John’s  Gospel  and 
that  of  the  synoptics  are  so  different  that  Jesus 
could  not  have  spoken  both  of  them,  that  the  re- 


126  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

port  made  by  the  ‘beloved  disciple’  was  not 
really  the  words  of  Jesus,  but  his  thought  as  the 
disciple  remembered  it,  clothed  in  his  own  lan¬ 
guage.  In  other  words  Christ  did  not  speak 
those  words.  They  are  not  his.  They  are  the 
words  of  an  editor.  What  confidence  can  any 
one  place  in  the  crucial  hours  of  the  soul  in  the 
words  of  a  redactor?  I  needed  support  and,  as 
I  once  believed,  John’s  Gospel  could  have  given 
it.  But  then,  as  I  first  realized  it,  the  word  of  a 
reporter  would  not  do  when  one  wanted  Jesus 
Christ  to  speak  words  of  comfort  to  his  dis¬ 
tressed  soul.  There  I  was,  a  minister  of  the 
gospel,  floundering  in  a  storm  with  my  compass 
discredited.  Doubts  swept  over  me.  I  seemed 
unable  to  resist  them.  I  was  carried  forward  by 
them.  I  found  no  check  to  place  upon  them.  I 
was  adrift  as  in  a  threatening  gale.  In  my  per¬ 
plexity  I  lost  my  patience.  I  took  my  Bible  and 
tossed  it  on  the  highest  shelf  in  my  library  and 
resolved  to  read  it  no  more.  My  devotional  life 
disappeared.  I  read  the  Scripture  only  for  a 
text  and  for  pulpit  ministrations.  It  is  almost 
inconceivable  that  a  minister  should  do  such  a 
thing.  I  was  inwardly  angry  with  myself  that  I 
had  been  so  deceived.  I  had  not  reached  the 


Escape  from  the  Depths  127 

point  where  I  was  conscious  that  I  was  deceiving 
others.  In  that  frame  of  mind  I  found  myself 
talking  to  you  some  months  ago.  I  was  then 
playing  a  game  of  shameful  bluff  not  only  with 
myself  but  with  people  who  trusted  me  to  be  a 
faithful  minister  of  Jesus  Christ.  That  was  the 
inward  hurt  I  was  seeking  to  shield  and  conceal 
from  you  when  we  had  that  heart-searching 
talk.” 

“It  is  almost  inconceivable  that  somewhere 
along  the  line  you  did  not  get  hold  of  the  truth,” 
I  responded,  “that  it  is  not  what  the  Bible  does 
for  you  that  saves  you,  but  your  faith  in  Jesus 
Christ.  You  may  break  the  anchor  of  faith  in 
everything  else,  but  if  the  one  in  him  holds,  you 
are  safe.  In  other  words,  your  faith  in  the  Holy 
Scriptures  does  not  save  or  condemn  you.  Let 
men  say  what  they  will  about  the  Bible;  if  you 
have  found  its  words  to  be  true  as  to  Christ  as  a 
personal  Saviour,  you  need  not  fear.” 

“Oh,  yes,  I  have  found  it  so,”  he  answered, 
“but  I  did  not  know  it  then.  I  thought  that 
Christianity  rose  or  fell  by  our  attitude  toward 
the  record  of  his  life.” 

“You  have  found  it  to  be  otherwise,”  I  as¬ 
serted,  “since  you  have  made  the  acquaintance 


128  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

of  the  Christ  of  Christian  experience.  He  lives 
within  and  you  do  not  need  to  refer  to  a  book 
to  prove  it.  You  have  a  witness  in  your  heart 
that  makes  you  understand  that  Christianity  is 
Christo-centric.” 

“That  was  the  truth  that  saved  me,”  he  re¬ 
plied.  “I  had  never  realized  that  man  was 
saved  by  an  experience  and  not  by  a  creed.  It 
all  seems  so  clear  now,  but  what  I  passed 
through  to  gain  the  place  of  light  was  almost 
like  suffering  unto  blood.  For  when  a  Chris¬ 
tian  minister  loses  his  devotion  to,  and  affection 
for,  the  book  Christendom  has  long  called  The 
word  of  God’  he  breaks  the  anchorage  of  his 
faith.  No  matter  how  firm  he  may  be  in  his 
conviction,  no  matter  how  rich  he  may  be  in 
spiritual  experience,  no  matter  how  resourceful 
he  may  be  in  resisting  doubts,  no  matter  how 
clear  his  inner  witness  may  be,  the  one  anchor 
of  his  faith  that  holds  him  steadfast  is  his  abso¬ 
lute  confidence  in  the  Bible  as  the  word  of  God. 
When  I  lost  that  my  entire  life  was  loosened  in 
all  its  restraints.  My  motives  failed.  My  ideals 
faded.  My  impulses  lowered.  For  the  first 
time  I  discovered  a  jungle  region  in  my  life.  I 
had  heard  of  it  as  being  in  other  men’s  lives,  but 


Escape  from  the  Depths  129 

it  had  never  occurred  to  me  that  some  day  I 
might  awaken  to  find  the  wolves  of  passion  and 
hard  selfishness  at  my  owm  door.  I  was  con¬ 
fronted  by  what  I  might  become,  yes,  and  the 
very  thing  I  had  hated  and  loathed  in  others. 
I  had  not  thought  this  to  be  the  result  of  cutting 
the  anchor  of  faith.  I  had  expected  to  go  for¬ 
ward  and  upward  according  to  my  original  in¬ 
tent.  Imagine  my  amazement  when  I  discov¬ 
ered  that  I  was  adrift  with  no  harbor  in  sight, 
the  course  of  my  journey  lost,  my  shorelines 
broken,  my  compass  discredited  and  the  cer¬ 
tainty  of  night  drawing  close  about  me.  I  had 
no  inclination  to  pray.  The  heavens  seemed 
voiceless  above  me.  There  was  no  one  to  speak 
to  me.  A  great  and  ominous  silence  reigned  in 
my  soul.  When  I  was  alone  I  was  not  with  God. 
I  was  engulfed  in  the  stillness  of  a  shoreless  sea. 
There  came  at  times  a  breaking  up.  Storms 
threatened  and  my  spirit  was  cast  into  the 
depths  of  despair.  Then  if  it  had  not  been  for 
the  restraints  of  Christian  training,  if  it  had  not 
been  for  that  resolution,  CI  will  fight  it  through/ 
I  would  have  made  shipwreck.  However,  in 
those  moments  of  distress  there  appeared  a 
strange  phenomenon.  An  inner  voice  would 


130  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

caution  and  advise  me.  It  did  not  seem  to  be 
a  part  of  me  though  I  could  not  separate  it 
from  my  own  intellectual  operations.  It  would 
stand  over  against  me.  It  would  come  up  within 
me.  Its  word  would  sound  clear  and  command 
confidence.  Was  it  mine?  It  seemed  not,  and 
yet  I  could  not  dissociate  it  from  me.  It  proved 
to  be  my  anchor,  my  restraint  and  my  counselor. 
It  kept  saying,  ‘You  can  fight  it  through.’  It 
seemed  to  produce  in  me  a  divided  personality 
between  which  there  appeared  an  increasing 
conflict.  One  seemed  to  be  the  ‘Me’  that  was 
struggling  and  the  other  a  ‘Not-me’  that  would 
not  let  me  go  without  consenting  unto  its  con¬ 
trol.  This  voice  would  say  in  my  perplexity, 
‘The  Bible  is  your  infallible  and  indispensable 
guide.  But  you  must  make  your  life  Christo- 
centric.’  Then  something  would  take  up  the 
argument  saying,  ‘How  can  a  man  do  this?  Can 
he  resolve  to  do  it?  What  enables  a  man  to 
shift  the  center  of  his  life  and  make  it  revolve 
around  Jesus  Christ?’  Then  would  come  the 
answer,  ‘Your  acknowledgment  of  your  need  of 
him.’  But  could  this  be  done  by  mere  volition? 
Must  not  the  movement  toward  this  begin  in  a 
deepening  conviction?  Then  the  voice  would 


Escape  from  the  Depths  131 

answer,  ‘It  will  even  come  true  by  your  being 
brought  to  a  place  where  in  your  despair  you 
cry  out,  “Lord,  save  me,  or  I  perish.”  ’  I  finally 
came  to  the  place  where  I  could  not  see  my 
way  out  of  the  darkness.  All  means  of  escape 
had  disappeared.  Then  that  voice  again  spoke, 
‘Cry  unto  Him  for  He  is  near.’  Then  something 
came  over  me  like  an  inclination.  I  gave  down 
resistance.  I  turned  to  Christ  lor  help.  A 
prayer  came  to  my  lips.  I  began  to  rise  out  of 
the  depths.  The  altitudes  that  had  held  me 
and  shut  me  in  began  to  be  reduced.  The  dark¬ 
ness  lowered  to  the  levels.  I  was  relieved,  my 
sky  cleared  and  my  contentment  returned.  I 
found  myself  with  a  feeling  of  being  in  the  pres¬ 
ence  of  Christ  and  contemplating  him  as  one 
who  had  rescued  me  from  breakdown.  It  was  a 
moment  of  profound  relief.  I  felt  myself  again. 
A  new  zest  for  the  ministry  returned.  I  was 
making  progress.  But  the  end  was  not  yet.” 

“But  what  became  of  your  Bible?”  I  ques¬ 
tioned.  “Did  you  have  your  regard  for  it  re¬ 
stored?  No  man  can  afford  to  trust  his  inter¬ 
pretation  of  the  Christian  life  entirely  to  reli¬ 
gious  experience.  It  has  various  degrees  of  re¬ 
liability.  Even  in  the  best  and  sanest  of  men, 


132  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

at  times,  it  must  be  safeguarded.  Every  be¬ 
liever  must  have  an  objective  rectifier.  The 
Bible  must  share  authority  with  Christian  ex¬ 
perience  in  keeping  the  spiritual  life  pure,  its 
windows  open  toward  Heaven  and  in  preserving 
it  from  the  shadows  of  a  darkened  mind,  pro¬ 
duced  by  the  raids  of  unreality  and  superstition. 
How  do  you  hold  the  Bible  now?” 

“It  has  become  my  guide  book,”  he  replied, 
“my  authority,  my  source  book  on  all  matters 
of  the  spiritual  life.  It  is  to  me  now  in  a  re¬ 
markable  degree  the  very  word  of  God.  I  have 
a  hunger  for  it  that  calls  for  a  daily  reading.  It 
is  a  new  book  to  me.  I  find  a  unity  strange  and 
satisfying  from  the  first  of  Genesis  to  the  last 
verse  of  Revelation.  I  have  found  it  the  world’s 
spiritual  log  book  whose  direction,  if  one  will 
follow,  will  bring  him  unerringly  into  the  great 
sea  of  God’s  peace.” 

This  confession  was  made  with  a  frankness 
that  disclosed  to  me  that  he  had  discovered  a 
new  foundation  for  his  faith.  Evidently  he  had 
passed  through  a  spiritual  crisis  that  had  made  a 
lasting  impression  upon  him.  It  had  proven  a 
milestone  in  his  career.  He  had  discovered 
Jesus  Christ  and  given  him  a  location  in  his  life. 


Escape  from  the  Depths  133 

Likewise  he  had  revalued  the  Bible.  It  was  no 
longer  a  piece  of  religious  literature  that  had 
survived  out  of  the  dead  past.  It  had  become 
to  him  a  living  book  which  had  produced  and 
was  still  forming  new  literature  in  a  thousand 
languages  and  was  creating  the  moral  dynamic 
for  many  nations  and  revealing  a  clarified  life 
vision  for  an  ever-increasing  number  of  the  races 
of  men.  It  is  the  sun  of  the  spiritual  world, 
when  it  burns  out,  interminable  darkness  settles 
over  mankind.  To  extract  its  life-producing 
power  terminates  its  influence.  To  hand  it  on 
to  the  rising  generations  as  a  dead  Bible  means 
to  disconnect  and  destroy  the  moral  dynamo  that 
has  supplied  the  impulse  that  has  been  for  al¬ 
most  two  thousand  years  the  driving  force  of 
the  most  aggressive  nations.  Why  should  any 
thoughtful  man  stand  for  dissecting  methods 
which  result  in  the  pronouncement  of  death  over 
its  historic  remains?  It  means  something  for  a 
man  to  discover  the  Bible  in  the  great  wilder¬ 
ness  of  the  world’s  present-day  literature.  This 
minister  had  done  so  and  in  his  efforts  sighted 
the  light  of  Jesus  Christ  and  walked  out  of  his 
darkness  with  the  intention  of  making  the 
Bible’s  message  live  for  others.  I  was  anxious 


134  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

to  hear  him  relate  the  story  of  that  deeper  ex¬ 
perience  that  enabled  him  to  accomplish  that 
achievement  which  Bishop  Gore  characterizes 
as  “a  tremendous  act  of  Choice,”  claiming  that 
“it  is  very  hard  to  be  a  good  Christian.” 

Yes,  to  be  a  good  Christian!  It  is  easy  to  be 
a  nominal  believer  in  Jesus  Christ.  That  re¬ 
quires  no  special  act  of  the  will.  What  did  the 
good  bishop  mean  by  “a  tremendous  act  of 
choice”?  Surely  it  is  not  so  serious  as  that  to 
be  a  Christian.  Those  who  have  had  insight 
into  what  Christ  taught  do  not  hesitate  to  say 
so.  They  even  assert  that  Christianity  has  not 
as  yet  been  tried.  What  has  the  church  been 
doing  all  these  centuries?  What  has  the  min¬ 
istry  been  preaching  to  all  the  generations  of 
men  during  the  Christian  era?  Why  this  state¬ 
ment?  Has  a  discovery  been  made?  Has  new 
light  fallen  on  the  teaching  of  Christianity?  Is 
this  holy  and  spiritual  religion  of  Jesus  of  Naza¬ 
reth  something  at  which  the  spirit  and  thought 
life  of  men  is  yet  to  arrive?  Is  it  true  that  the 
Bible  is  to  continue  to  be  the  source  book  of  a 
mental  energy  that  will  rise  like  a  fountain  in  the 
desert?  If  so,  we  still  have  the  task  before  us 
to  achieve  the  ideal  of  “a  good  Christian.” 


II 


DISCOVERY  OF  JESUS  CHRIST 

“When  I  came  again  into  the  light,  imagine 
my  amazement  when  I  found  that  there  still  re¬ 
mained  in  my  heart  an  element  of  discontent,1 ” 
continued  the  young  man.  “When  I  found  the 
darkness  disappearing  I  thought  that  meant  per¬ 
manent  relief.  The  way  appeared  clear  before 
me,  the  enclosing  mountains  had  been  reduced, 
but  I  was  in  the  presence  of  something  that  con¬ 
tinued  to  distress  me.  Again  that  inner  voice 
came  to  my  assistance  with  a  question  and  a 
suggestion.  ‘You  are  in  the  presence  of  the  pure 
life  of  Christ.  What  are  you  going  to  do  with 
him?’  ‘I  am  going  to  seek  to  be  like  him/  came 
the  instant  answer.  My  old  conception  of  him 
returned  and  I  replied,  ‘It  is  his  life  that  counts. 
That  life,  that  life  of  beauty,  of  idealism,  of 
moral  force,  of  dominance,  of  mastery,  of  match¬ 
less  purity,  the  crystal  Christ,  him  will  I  accept, 
him  will  I  preach,  him  will  I  urge  upon  others.’ 
For  a  moment  I  was  carried  away  with  enthusi¬ 
asm  for  the  conception  that  the  example  of  his 

135 


136  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

life  was  the  hope  of  the  human  heart.  I  ad¬ 
vanced  toward  and  resolved  to  be  like  him.  I 
saw  him  as  the  Christ  of  the  Beatitudes,  the 
Christ  of  the  hungry  multitudes,  the  Christ  of 
the  healing  power,  the  Christ  of  the  transfigura¬ 
tion,  the  Christ  of  the  incomparable  and  elo¬ 
quent  tongue,  the  Christ  of  the  pure,  white  life. 
The  one  promontory  that  stood  out  before  me 
in  all  his  short  career  was  the  beauty  of  his 
moral  character.  It  was  entrancing.  Its  charm 
grew  in  luster.  How  could  I  approach  it?  Its 
light  cast  forth  a  clearness  that  penetrated  den¬ 
sity  and  challenged  the  opaqueness  of  dullness. 
Somehow  the  brightness  began  to  disturb  me. 
I  felt  an  impulse  to  step  aside  and  avoid  its 
searching  penetration.  Then  came  the  question, 
How  can  I  ever  attain  that?  The  still  small 
voice  answered,  ‘You  cannot,  but  you  can  fol¬ 
low.  You  can  seek,  ever  striving  to  attain,  and 
find  your  joy  in  that.’  The  light  began  to  pene¬ 
trate  my  own  life.  It  revealed  what  had  hith¬ 
erto  been  held  secret  within  the  depths  of  my 
being.  There  appeared  uncovered  before  my 
eyes  the  sin  sources  of  my  life,  the  tendency  to 
self-seeking,  the  strata  of  pride,  the  elements  of 
personal  conceit,  the  twin  supports  of  self-opin- 


Escape  from  the  Depths  137 

ion,  the  strong  lines  of  self-assertion,  the  dark 
channels  of  unforgiveness,  the  stringent  im¬ 
pulses  to  resentment  and  requital,  the  love  of 
domination  and  conquest,  the  capacity  for  hu¬ 
miliation  and  depression  from  failure  and  de¬ 
feat.  The  light  was  too  strong.  The  discovery 
was  too  shocking.  Instead  of  seeking  to  ap¬ 
proach  Christ  I  was  driven  from  him.  The 
moral  reaction  carried  me  again  to  the  verge  of 
despair.  What  could  I  hope  to  do  with  my  life 
in  the  light  of  that  perfection?  Before  its  at¬ 
tainment  I  was  lost.  There  was  nothing  to  do 
but  turn  away  and  trust  and  hope  that  somehow 
a  way  of  relief  would  be  provided.  But  I  could 
not  release  myself  from  the  hold  of  the  power  of 
that  life.  I  remained  compelled  to  contemplate 
it  in  the  midst  of  the  deepest  distress.  My  ten¬ 
dencies  to  sin  obstructed  my  way  to  even  hope 
to  attain  the  beauty  and  perfection  of  his  char¬ 
acter.” 

“But,”  I  interposed,  “had  you  never  seen  the 
sin  possibilities  in  your  life  before?  They  are 
there  by  nature.  Those  you  named  are  native 
instincts.  Had  you  never  been  brought  face  to 
face  with  their  efforts  to  control  you?” 

“I  cannot  say  that  I  had,”  he  responded.  “I 


138  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

was  brought  up  in  the  church,  as  you  know.  I 
had  always  thought  I  had  never  passed  out  of 
the  Kingdom  of  God.  From  my  earliest  child¬ 
hood  I  had  sought  to  be  good  rather  than  bad. 
There  was  no  problem  of  evil  for  me.  I  had  al¬ 
ways  seen  in  Jesus  Christ  the  outlines  of  the  per¬ 
fect  man,  whom  I  was  instructed  to  follow  and 
to  seek  daily  to  become  like.  I  had  acknowl¬ 
edged  him  as  Lord  and  sworn  my  fealty  and  al¬ 
legiance  to  him.  I  had  accepted  him  as  my 
teacher  and  authority  on  all  matters  of  conduct. 
I  had  never  seen  him  as  Saviour.  I  had  never 
felt  my  need  of  him  in  that  respect.  I  had  never 
had  the  consciousness  of  being  lost.  In  reality 
my  sin  possibilities  had  not  troubled  me.  Cer¬ 
tainly  I  had  plenty,  but  I  looked  upon  them  as 
the  shortcomings  of  immaturity,  as  human  im¬ 
perfections  that  could  be  easily  condoned.  They 
could  be  as  I  saw  them,  easily  disposed  of  as 
social  blunderings,  moral  lapses  and  disposi¬ 
tional  weaknesses  that  could  be  reduced  almost 
to  the  vanishing  point  by  education,  training  and 
refinement.  I  trusted  to  the  influence  of  Christ, 
my  ideal,  to  help  me  accomplish  this  in  my  life. 
When  I  found  myself  confronted  by  a  discovery 
of  sin-potentialities  and  the  results  of  their  ac- 


Escape  from  the  Depths  139 

tivities  I  was  held  by  the  conviction  that  I  could 
not  achieve  my  ideal  in  Christ.  Then  came  dis¬ 
appointment  like  a  blow  that  staggered  all  my 
aspirations.” 

“Had  you  not  seen  the  Cross  in  all  your  per¬ 
plexity?”  I  inquired.  “That  brings  the  relief 
produced  by  the  perfection  in  Christ’s  life.” 

“I  had  not  seen  the  cross  so  far,”  he  answered. 
“It  meant  nothing  to  me  but  tragedy  and  fail¬ 
ure.  The  end  of  a  good  life.  The  natural  out¬ 
come  of  a  man’s  career  who  seeks  to  live  an  ab¬ 
solutely  sincere  and  unselfish  life.  I  realized  it 
later.  I  did  not  see  the  cross  because  I  had  not 
seen  Christ  as  Saviour.  I  had  a  sort  of  split 
conception  of  his  life.  I  was  making  much  out 
of  his  life,  and  setting  it  in  my  thinking  over 
against  the  incident  and  significance  of  his  cross. 
I  held  two  concepts  in  mind,  his  life  and  his 
cross.  I  found  myself  saying  his  life  should 
mean  more  to  us  than  his  cross.  It  is  the  life 
that  saves.  The  way  of  the  life  leads  home.  I 
did  not  see  then  that  the  cross  is  part  of  the 
life,  that  it  must  not  be  segregated  unto  itself. 
I  did  not  realize  that  the  cross  became  the  cul¬ 
mination  of  the  life,  that  it  gave  the  heavenly 
stamp,  that  it  gave  a  spiritual  significance,  that 


140  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

it  gave  a  relation  to  mankind  by  which  the  life 
could  find  its  only  safe  interpretation.  I  had 
failed  to  see  that  the  cross  of  Christ  redeemed 
his  life  from  the  fate  of  other  good  men  who 
had  appeared  as  teachers,  priests,  and  prophets, 
and  had  gone  their  way  to  obscurity.  I  had 
fallen  short  of  that  conception  that  had  placed 
a  lamb,  symbol  of  sacrifice,  on  the  throne  of  the 
universe.  I  had  not  seen  Christ  as  Saviour, 
hence  I  had  not  found  my  interpretation  of  Cal¬ 
vary.  While  I  was  passing  through  the  experi¬ 
ence  of  transition  the  pull  between  the  life 
and  the  cross  was  so  manifest  that  I  recall  it 
now  as  almost  inexplicable.  When  I  thought 
of  him  and  the  idealism  of  my  heart’s  desire  I 
turned  to  his  life.  When  moments  of  depres¬ 
sion  came,  when  I  was  confronted  by  failures, 
when  I  was  distressed  by  an  active  conscience, 
I  turned  instinctively  toward  the  cross.  I 
seemed  to  find  sympathy  there.  The  Christ  of 
Calvary  drew  me  unto  himself  when  I  faced  the 
possibility  of  sin  in  my  life.  I  could  not  tell 
what  it  was  that  drew  me,  that  held  and  fas¬ 
cinated  me.  At  the  last,  that  period  of  his  life 
where  Calvary  stands  won  me  by  breaking  all 
other  ties.  All  vacillation  ceased.  I  found  myself 


Escape  from  the  Depths  141 

permanently  located  there.  I  had  been  broken 
in  spirit  before  that  scene.  I  heard  humanity 
say,  ‘He  saved  others,  himself  he  cannot  save.’ 
I  heard  him  moan,  ‘My  God,  my  God,  why  hast 
thou  forsaken  me?’  I  saw  my  own  spirit.  I 
heard  my  own  words  upon  his  lips.  His  spirit 
and  mine  were  one.  His  experience  and  mine 
were  identical.  He  was  suffering  the  cross  that 
he  might  speak  for  me,  that  he  might  exemplify 
the  pain  and  interpret  in  material  form  the 
mental  agony  I  had  undergone  in  my  efforts  to 
find  my  way  to  moral  mastery  and  spiritual 
peace. 

“Immediately  my  life  became  associated  with 
this  incident  in  his  life.  A  consciousness  came 
to  possess  me  that  he  suffered  there  for  me. 
Was  it  expiation?  Was  it  atonement?  Was  it 
substitutionary?  I  did  not  stop  to  inquire.  I 
know  the  cry  of  his  cross  is  mine.  I  feel  that 
the  suffering  of  his  cross  is  mine.  I  confess 
that  since  I  have  seen  his  cross  I  can  understand 
his  life.  I  cannot  get  away  from  the  feeling  that 
Christianity  is  Christo-centric  and  that  his  life 
is  Calvary-crowned.” 

“But  why  should  you  want  to  get  away  from 
that  feeling?”  I  urged.  “That  great  promon- 


142  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

tory  has  risen  so  high  that  many  generations  of 
men  have  come  to  see  that  the  most  prominent 
thing  in  the  life  of  Christ  was  his  bearing  the 
cross.  Get  away  from  it?  Why,  man,  that  is 
the  peak  of  the  divine  life  as  it  began  its  ascent 
from  the  human  cradle  back  to  the  throne  of 
God.  The  world  never  knows  Christ  in  the 
highest  ranges  of  his  life,  only  as  it  views  him 
from  Calvary.  Man’s  intellect  has  sought  to 
dissolve  its  mystery  and  pull  down  its  earth¬ 
topping  altitudes,  but  the  multitudes  will  not 
cease  to  approach  it.  They  will  continue  to 
break  themselves  upon  it  and  perish  in  their  ef¬ 
forts  to  attain  it.  You  will,  if  you  remain  faith¬ 
ful,  never  get  away  from  the  Christ  of  Calvary. 
You  value  what  he  has  done  in  you.  We  are  ac¬ 
customed  to  call  that,  as  a  work  of  grace,  re¬ 
generation,  but  there  will  be  times  when  you 
will  feel  that  was  not  enough.  Your  shortcom¬ 
ings  and  failures  will  pull  the  value  of  that  down 
until  it  appears  far  from  adequate  to  save  the 
soul.  Then  there  will  be  times  when  all  that  he 
has  done  with  you  will  appear  as  worthless  to 
help  your  soul  to  some  sense  of  merit  in  the  sight 
of  God.  By  this  I  mean  the  building  up  of  your 
Christian  character.  At  its  best  it  will  fall  far 


Escape  from  the  Depths  143 

short  of  what  you  think  it  should  be.  Even 
faith  in  Christ  exercised  by  prayer  and  medita¬ 
tion  daily  will  seem  in  moments  of  weakness 
not  to  have  availed  in  producing  his  likeness  in 
your  life.  Furthermore,  there  will  be  times 
when  even  what  he  has  accomplished  through 
you  will  appear  so  insignificant  as  to  be  almost 
worthless.  By  this  I  mean  all  your  good  works. 
They,  in  moments  of  depression  will  seem  so 
inadequate.  You  should  have  accomplished  so 
much  more.  You  failed  at  so  many  points.  You 
were  so  obtuse  before  opportunity.  Your  leth¬ 
argy  was  your  frequent  betrayal.  What  has 
Christ  wrought  through  you?  Nothing,  noth¬ 
ing.  Then  you  face  that  announcement  of  the 
spirit  that  the  human  soul  must  not  forget  that 
in  the  crucial  hours  it  is  not  what  Christ  has 
done  in  it,  not  what  he  has  done  with  it,  not 
what  he  has  done  through  it,  but  what  he  has 
done  for  it,  that  comforts  and  quiets  discontent. 
That  identifies  Golgotha,  establishes  Calvary 
and  interprets  the  cross.  What  he  did  for  us 
there  may  be  a  problem  to  some,  but  to  those 
who  walk  with  him  it  has  a  meaning  of  unmis¬ 
takable  certainty  upon  which  the  experience  of 
life  constantly  drives  for  renewal  of  faith  and 


144  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

the  recharging  of  power  to  resist  and  persevere 
unto  the  glad  day  of  deliverance.” 

“Yes/’  he  eagerly  replied,  “that  is  the  secret 
of  it.  In  the  straits  of  the  soul  it  is  what  he 
did  for  us  that  draws  us  with  devotion  to  him. 
That  is  the  binding  tie.  With  a  sense  of  that 
union  I  am  joined  to  him  with  a  love  that  en¬ 
raptures  my  entire  emotional  nature.  To  me 
Jesus  Christ  is  the  revelation  of  the  love,  the 
emotion,  the  very  sensibilities  of  deity.  He  is 
the  solution  of  the  problem  of  my  sin.  His 
cross  is  the  answer  to  my  yearning  for  perfec¬ 
tion,  the  encouragement  of  my  uncomparable  as¬ 
pirations  and  the  sedative  for  my  restless  spirit. 
He  is  now  my  Lord,  my  Christ,  my  Redeemer, 
my  Saviour,  in  a  most  wonderful  experience. 

“I  look  upon  him  as  God  of  very  God.  He  is 
not  to  me  a  revelation  from  God ,  he  is  a  revela¬ 
tion  of  God.  I  believe  in  a  personal  deity.  The 
old  contentions  over  two  natures  and  two  wills 
give  me  no  concern.  God,  a  personal  being,  can 
manifest  himself  through  the  medium  of  a  hu¬ 
man  personality.  A  human  body  is  more 
psychic  than  it  is  material.  The  divine  person¬ 
ality  can  dwell  in  it  as  easily  as  a  human  per¬ 
sonality.  Christ  is  Deity  manifest  in  the  flesh.” 


Ill 


DISCOVERY  OF  THE  HOLY  SPIRIT 

The  great  miracle  which  Christianity  con¬ 
stantly  produces  is  the  sustained  moral  enthu¬ 
siasm  it  maintains  in  the  heart  of  believers.  This, 
I  discovered,  was  manifesting  itself  in  the  life 
of  this  transformed  minister.  He  had  come 
into  the  possession  of  a  strange  power.  It  was 
slowly  mastering  all  his  mental  and  spiritual 
faculties.  The  process  was  still  going  on  and 
he  was  being  led  forward  into  realms  of  expe¬ 
rience  with  which  he  had  been  utterly  unfamil¬ 
iar.  Sustained  moral  enthusiasm  under  the 
downpull  of  the  physical  life,  operating  through 
nerve,  muscular  and  mental  fatigue  is  excep¬ 
tional  apart  from  the  influence  of  the  Christian 
faith.  The  survival  of  spiritual  ideals  before  the 
onslaught  of  materialism  and  the  revelations  of 
reality  is  secured  only  by  a  companionship  with 
Jesus  Christ  and  a  daily  association  with  his 
standards  of  life.  Men  who  enjoy  this  coveted 
fellowship  may  be  given  to  failing  their  ideals, 

but  they  do  not  cease  to  believe  in  them.  They 

145 


146  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

may  be  humiliated  before  them  but  they  rise 
to  pursue  them.  They  appear  impervious  to 
discouragement.  They  seem  never  to  lose  their 
power  of  comeback.  If  they  are  overwhelmed 
by  circumstances,  they  serenely  display  their 
self-assertion,  manifesting  the  power  of  an  un¬ 
conquerable  soul.  If  they  fall,  they  stop  on 
their  knees,  with  their  faces  toward  heaven. 
When  they  rise  they  find  themselves  going  in 
the  right  direction.  It  is  the  abiding  miracle 
of  the  ages,  this  power  of  undiminished  moral 
reaction  that  faith  in  Christ  produces  through¬ 
out  the  long  years  of  a  believer’s  life.  It  is  the 
final  indissoluble  and  imperishable  witness  to 
the  divine  character  of  the  Christian  faith. 
What  more  could  a  man  desire  for  another  than 
that  he  should  come  into  the  possession  of  such 
an  experience? 

It  appeared  that  my  visitor  had  something 
further  to  relate  of  what  he  had  passed  through 
in  his  struggle  toward  the  light.  I  asked  him  if 
he  felt  he  had  attained  the  fullness  he  had 
anticipated. 

“Certainly  not,”  he  answered.  “I  have  just 
begun  what  seems  to  me  a  life  of  innumerable 
attainments.  Knowledge  grows  from  more  to 


Escape  from  the  Depths  147 

more.  There  is  always  something  ahead,  some¬ 
thing  to  be  attained,  another  height  just  above 
to  be  reached.  I  must  tell  you  how  I  discov¬ 
ered  the  Holy  Spirit.  He  had  been  a  name  to 
me.  I  had  no  appreciation  of  him.  I  looked 
upon  him  as  a  provision  in  thought  and  ac¬ 
cepted  the  teaching  concerning  him  of  recent 
origin.  I  had  practically  taken  the  position  that 
the  doctrine  of  the  Holy  Spirit  was  a  means 
by  which  theologians  brought  Deity  in  touch 
with  the  world.  The  recent  emphasis  of  the 
doctrine  of  the  eminence  of  God  disposed  of  my 
difficulties,  if  I  had  any,  over  the  place  of  the 
Holy  Spirit  in  Christian  thought.  When  I  came 
into  the  full  possession  of  the  significance  of  my 
discovery  of  Jesus  Christ,  I  found  within  my 
heart  a  great  yearning  to  know  the  will  of  God 
that  I  might  lend  the  obedience  of  my  life  to  it. 
My  affection  for  Christ  had  intensified  a  hun¬ 
dredfold  until  it  had  become  an  emotion.  I  had 
not  even  dreamed  that  one  could  be  so  taken 
hold  of  in  his  affection.  I  did  not  then  know 
that  Jesus  Christ  was  the  revelation  of  the  emo¬ 
tional  life  of  a  personal  God.  I  found  myself 
constantly  inquiring,  What  will  he  have  me  to 
do?  I  was  frequently  driven  to  prayer  in  search 


148  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

for  the  answer.  The  breaking  through  hour 
finally  came.  The  lead  was  again  given  by  that 
still  small  voice  which  one  day  queried,  Ts  not 
the  Holy  Spirit  the  expression  of  the  will  of 
God?’  By  what  I  had  heard  from  those  who  be¬ 
lieved  and  taught  the  personality  and  work  of 
the  Holy  Spirit  I  had  drawn  the  inference  that 
he  was  the  emotion  of  God.  Those  whom  I  had 
known  who  witnessed  to  him  always  spoke  of 
the  joy  and  enthusiasm  he  had  produced  in 
them.  I  had  always  associated  the  Spirit  with 
feeling.  Then  came  the  light.  The  Holy  Spirit 
is  the  will,  the  power,  the  ‘dynamite’  of  God. 
This  was  the  help  I  was  seeking.  I  wanted  to 
know  that  expression  of  God  over  which,  and 
out  through  which  went  the  power  of  God  when 
he  wanted  something  done.  I  was  keenly  de¬ 
sirous  of  hearing  the  words,  ‘This  is  the  will  of 
God,  even  your  sanctification,’  your  cleansing, 
your  setting  apart  to  do  my  will,  to  be  my  voice, 
to  be  my  specially  chosen  minister.  I  had  this 
yearning  deep  in  my  soul.  I  could  not  avoid  it, 
neither  suppress  it.  I  wanted  the  inner  seal,  the 
holy  ordination  that  would  give  me  the  sense  of 
an  unbroken  connection  with  the  apostolic  com¬ 
mission  that  sent  forth  the  disciples  to  preach  the 


Escape  from  the  Depths  149 

unsearchable  riches  of  the  gospel  of  Christ.  I 
wanted  something  I  did  not  have,  I  coveted  au¬ 
thority  from  which  there  could  be  no  appeal.” 

“But  did  you  not  realize  what  that  desire 
would  lead  you  to  accept?”  I  asked.  “That  is 
a  manifestation  of  a  reaction  from  the  spiritual 
to  the  material.  It  is  an  expression  of  that  in¬ 
nate  desire  of  the  human  element  of  man’s  na¬ 
ture  to  not  remain  entirely  on  a  spiritual  level. 
It  is  not  content  until  it  gets  its  feet  on  the 
ground.  It  wants  physical  contact.” 

“I  realize  the  import  of  that,”  he  responded, 
“but  the  desire  kept  coming  up  before  my 
thought.  I  wanted  to  know  the  will  of  God  as 
to  what  I  should  do  in  my  ministry.  The  an¬ 
swer  kept  coming  from  the  small  voice,  ‘The 
Holy  Spirit  is  the  will  of  God.’  I  could  not 
understand  at  first.  Then  I  gave  way  to  it.  I 
began  to  think  about  it.  I  accepted  it  favor¬ 
ably.  It  became  my  will  that  the  Holy  Spirit 
should  be  the  will  of  God  to  me.  The  surrender 
was  like  a  break.  Something  gave  way  within 
me.  It  was  not  physical,  but  of  a  psychic  na¬ 
ture,  that  made  me  conscious  of  it  as  of  a  hap¬ 
pening  one  cannot  forget.  It  was  a  release  of 
tension.  It  was  a  relaxation  of  the  long  estab- 


150  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

lished  braces  of  resistance  that  had  fretted  and 
wearied  me.  I  was  as  one  landing  after  a  long 
struggle  in  deep  waters.  For  a  time  it  was  al¬ 
most  nervous  collapse.  The  relief  seemed  in¬ 
finite.  My  spirit  rested,  the  degree  of  satisfac¬ 
tion  and  self-content  was  incalculable.  I  had 
not  anticipated  anything  like  that  was  possible.” 

“You  were  going  the  trinitarian  thorough¬ 
fare  with  a  vengeance,”  I  replied,  seeking  to 
help  him  see  the  more  thoughtful  side  of  his  ex¬ 
perience  and  to  divert  him  from  the  emotional 
phase  of  what  to  him  at  the  start  had  been  an 
incident  in  the  region  of  the  spiritual  volitions. 

“Yes,”  he  replied,  “I  have  thought  of  that  a 
number  of  times.  I  am  familiar  with  the  dis¬ 
cussions  on  this  subject  that  have  engaged 
thinking  minds  especially  in  the  light  of  modern 
psychology.  I  believe  in  and  have  experienced 
a  trinity  of  manifestations.  That  perplexity  has 
all  been  cleared  up  as  far  as  I  am  concerned.  I 
have  found  it  is  the  will  of  God  that  those  who 
seek  him  with  all  their  hearts  shall  know  the 
truth  and  that  the  truth  shall  make  them  free. 
The  heart  and  the  intellect  are  inextricably 
joined.  Truth  that  lives  and  makes  a  contribu¬ 
tion  to  the  mental  and  moral  life  must  be 


Escape  from  the  Depths  151 

warmed  by  affection  for  it.  This  light  has  come 
in  upon  me  like  a  flood.  God  is  personal.  He  is 
not  an  influence  or  a  principle  or  an  intangible 
spiritual  incoherence.  He  is  a  personality.  By 
this  I  do  not  mean  corporality,  but  a  being  who 
is  self  -conscious  with  unlimited  power  of  self- 
determination .  Being  a  personality,  he  must  re¬ 
veal  himself;  that  is  fundamental  to  his  nature. 
There  are  only  three  ways  by  which  a  personal¬ 
ity  can  reveal  itself :  by  the  thought  life,  by  the 
sensibilities,  by  the  volitions.  I  am  a  personal¬ 
ity  and  reveal  myself  by  the  same  means  of  ex¬ 
pression,  thought,  emotion,  will.  God  can  ap¬ 
proach  me  by  any  one  or  all  of  these  threefold 
ways  of  expressing  personality.  I  come  to  know 
God,  the  Father,  the  Thinker,  the  Provider,  the 
Sovereign  Ruler,  the  Creator,  through  the  chan¬ 
nel  by  which  I  express  my  own  thought  life  as 
a  personality.  I  come  to  know  God,  the  Son, 
Jesus  Christ,  the  Revelation  of  the  love,  the  Af¬ 
fection,  the  Emotion  of  a  personal  God,  through 
the  same  means  by  which  I  express  my  personal¬ 
ity  in  my  emotional  life.  I  come  to  know  God 
the  Holy  Spirit,  who  expresses  the  will  of  a  per¬ 
sonal  God  by  the  approach  over  which  I  express 
my  own  personality  through  the  exercise  of  my 


152  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

own  will.  Personality  meets  personality,  human 
and  divine,  under  the  same  impulsion  for  ex¬ 
pression  and  by  the  utilization  of  similar  means. 
It  cannot  be  otherwise,  if  we  are  to  have  a  per¬ 
sonal  God,  faith  in  whose  existence  makes 
possible  the  moral  universe  and  an  intelligible 
creation.” 

“But,”  I  responded,  “do  you  not  think  your 
explanation  is  somewhat  fanciful?  Hasn’t  it  a 
degree  of  psychology  that  may  not  survive  in¬ 
vestigation?” 

“That  may  be,”  he  responded,  “but  it  works 
in  the  field  of  experience  and  satisfies  the  de¬ 
mands  of  reason.  Mark  you,  it  is  the  one  re¬ 
liable  defense  against  the  great  vice  of  the 
spiritual  order,  wTeak-spiritedness.  It  estab¬ 
lished  in  my  faith  the  personality  and  integrity 
of  the  Holy  Spirit,  who  proves  himself  to  be  in 
a  believer’s  heart  the  will-to-power.  What  this 
means  to  me  no  one  else  can  possibly  know.  / 
have  discovered  the  Holy  Spirit!” 

“You  have  discovered  the  Holy  Spirit?”  I  in¬ 
terjected  with  a  smile.  “What  does  that  mean? 
You  seem  to  have  gone  on  a  voyage  as  a  trav¬ 
eler  bent  on  exploration.  You  report  that  you 
have  discovered  Jesus  Christ  and  the  Holy 


Escape  from  the  Depths  153 

Spirit.  Now  if  you  could  somehow  discover  His 
Satanic  Majesty,  you  would  relieve  a  host  of 
good  people  of  their  uncertainty.” 

“Yes,  possibly,”  he  responded.  “A  minister 
should  provide  a  relief  expedition  once  in  a 
while  for  the  benefit  of  his  friends.  Why  should 
he  not  look  upon  himself  as  a  discoverer?  He 
should  find  new  paths  into  unbroken  spiritual 
regions.  He  should  be  able  to  recommend  ex¬ 
perience  as  fresh  as  the  morning  dew.  To  me 
there  was  a  moment  when  the  Holy  Spirit  was 
a  discovery.  That  became  the  coveted  answer 
to  the  deepest  yearning  of  my  soul.  Why 
should  I  not  be  satisfied  with  this  explanation 
of  his  relation  to  me,  when  I  have  found  in  it 
certainty  and  assurance,  when  it  has  built  my 
faith  into  rugged  form,  when  it  has  so  clothed 
me  about  that  I  can  walk  along  the  border  near 
the  regions  of  the  hitherto  unknown  where  the 
cold  blasts  of  doubt  tear  the  souls  of  men  and 
have  no  concern  about  the  cosmic  chill?  I  say 
it  is  a  discovery,  an  achievement,  an  acquisition, 
that  has  abundantly  blessed  my  life  and  made 
me  a  new  minister  of  Jesus  Christ.  I  am  re¬ 
joicing  in  the  possibilities  of  attainment.  An 
eagerness  possesses  me  to  acquire  the  unattain- 


154  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

able.  I  believe  I  am  able  in  all  humility  to  say 
with  Saint  Paul,  ‘Not  as  though  I  had  already 
attained  either  were  already  perfect;  but  I  fol¬ 
low  after  that  I  may  apprehend  that  for  which 
also  I  am  apprehended  of  Jesus  Christ/  If  the 
possession  of  that  spirit  means  participation  in 
the  apostolic  succession,  then  surely  I  have  a 
right  to  make  a  humble  claim  to  be  a  partici¬ 
pant  in  its  rights  and  ancient  prerogatives.” 

His  change  of  attitude  was  my  amazement.  I 
had  ideas  about  the  spiritual  life  of  the  minister 
but  this  one  was  a  revelation  that  constantly 
surprised  me  with  its  originality  and  freshness. 
Its  most  outstanding  characteristic  was  that  of 
achievement.  He  had  gone  on  from  one  dis¬ 
covery  to  another.  There  was  no  finished  or 
closed  revelation  for  him.  The  door  to  God’s 
throne  room  was  still  open  and  daily  audience 
with  him  could  be  enjoyed  by  those  who  had 
attained  the  level  where  they  knew  how  to  ap¬ 
proach  him.  The  man’s  mastery  over  himself, 
the  development  of  his  spiritual  powers,  and  his 
capacity  for  sustained  interest  in  the  things  of 
the  idealistic  realm,  were  my  wonder;  while  his 
inner  assurance  supported  by  a  growing  intellect 
commanded  my  profound  respect. 


IV 


DISCOVERY  OF  CHRISTIANITY 

With  this  statement  he  rose  as  though  he 
were  ready  to  go.  It  seemed  suddenly  to  oc¬ 
cur  to  him  that  something  more  should  be  said. 
“Yes,  I  must  tell  you  how  I  discovered  Chris¬ 
tianity.” 

Resuming  his  seat,  he  continued:  “I  have  a 
new  gospel  I  am  preaching  with  perceptible  re¬ 
sults.  I  found  it  in  an  enlarged  conception  of 
what  Christ’s  life  and  teaching  should  mean  to 
humanity.” 

“Have  you  made  another  discovery?”  I 
asked  with  a  display  of  surprise.  “Your  quests 
after  truth  have  not  been  fruitless.  It  means 
something  to  announce  a  new  Christianity. 
That  may  indicate  that  you  have  been  doing 
some  thinking  for  yourself.  Better  go  slow  lest 
you  violate  the  historic  continuity  of  Christian 
truth.  For  that  error  men  have  suffered  trials, 
the  stake  and  death.” 

“Oh,  as  far  as  that  is  concerned,  I  have  no 

fear,”  he  assured  me.  “Perhaps  I  have  discov- 

155 


156  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

ered  the  other  half  of  the  significance  of  the 
teaching  of  our  Lord.” 

“Well,  the  world  goes  forward  by  halves  and 
marks  its  progress  by  cycles,”  I  suggested. 
“The  man  who  can  see  both  sides  of  a  sphere 
at  the  same  time  has  accomplished  a  feat 
worthy  a  genius.  Have  you  discovered  some¬ 
thing  new,  or  have  you  just  gotten  a  new  angle 
of  viewpoint?” 

“Perhaps  both,”  he  replied.  “My  conception 
of  Christianity  is  so  much  broader  that  I  can 
scarcely  believe  I  ever  held  the  old  views.” 

“No  wonder  you  feel  so  enthusiastic  over  the 
change  that  has  come  into  your  life,”  I  replied, 
seeking  to  lead  him  into  further  revelations  of 
his  experience.  “A  man’s  religion  must  be  re¬ 
newed  from  day  to  day.  Nothing  is  so  nause¬ 
ating  as  stale  religion.  Nothing  is  so  monoto¬ 
nous  as  the  reiteration  of  a  gospel  that  is  re¬ 
peated  by  rote  from  one  generation  to  another. 
If  you  have  found  a  new  outlook,  a  new  insist¬ 
ence,  a  new  note,  thank  God  and  take  courage. 
You  have  advanced  to  the  rank  of  a  prophet  and 
will  be  henceforth  regarded  as  a  ‘man  with  a 
message.’  ” 

“I  do  not  know  as  to  that,”  he  resumed. 


Escape  from  the  Depths  157 

“ But  I  am  convinced  that  Christianity  is  far 
more  than  I  thought  it  was  two  years  ago.  The 
day  was  when  I  understood  Christianity  to  be 
purely  spiritual,  a  thing  of  creeds  and  rituals. 
I  felt  it  was  entirely  for  the  inward  life  and  saw 
very  few  of  its  relations  to  the  world,  few  of  its 
connections  with  the  great  mass  of  humanity. 
It  was  a  thing  of  personal  potentialities,  set  to 
work  efficiency  and  to  contribute  to  the  indi¬ 
vidual  triumph  of  the  members  of  society.  To 
me  Christianity  was  of  supreme  value  in  the 
conflict  for  the  survival  of  the  fittest.  It  was 
the  religion  that  secured  the  dominance  of  the 
strong.  It  was  the  guarantee  of  the  upper  class 
of  culture,  education,  refinement.  Its  practices 
built  up  the  inner  world  that  made  possible  the 
development  of  man’s  powers,  until  that  branch 
of  the  human  race  that  has  shared  its  benefac¬ 
tions  has  come  to  dominate  the  world.  I  had 
thought  of  Christianity  as  a  great  subjective 
dynamic  that  had  revealed  the  most  regal  per¬ 
sonality  the  world  had  ever  known  and  the  most 
imperial  race  humanity  had  ever  produced.” 

“Such  positions  are  perfectly  right,”  I  as¬ 
sured  him.  “Christianity  has  been  all  of  what 
you  say.” 


158  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

“But/5  he  continued,  “I  did  not  see  that  a 
purely  subjective  Christianity  was  an  absurdity. 
I  was  also  suffering  from  another  half  concep¬ 
tion.  I  had  always  thought  that  the  test  of 
discipleship  was  the  confession  of  faith  in 
certain  historical  statements — The  Westmin¬ 
ster  Confession,  The  Apostles’  Creed,  The 
Twenty-five  Articles  of  Religion.  I  had  urged 
these  as  tests  of  church  membership.  I  had 
never  looked  into  them  to  see  just  what  they 
meant  and  to  determine  how  much  of  the  field 
of  Christian  faith  they  covered.  I  have  done  so 
and  find  that  they  are  pathetically  inadequate, 
that  they  are  simply  efforts  at  the  intellectuali- 
zation  of  Christian  belief.  They  deal  with 
metaphysical  and  theological  concepts  and  do 
not  in  the  least  touch  any  of  the  practical  rela¬ 
tionships  of  life.  They  seek  to  interpret  God, 
man  and  immortality  Biblically  and  theoretically 
but  give  no  interpretation  of  their  relation  to 
neighborhood  and  brotherhood.  Practical  and 
ethical  Christianity  do  not  appear  in  any  of  their 
statements.  Really,  I  had  only  seen  theoretical 
Christianity.  I  was  more  familiar  with  nega¬ 
tive  Christianity  than  I  was  with  the  positive 
form.  Perhaps  I  should  have  been.  Maybe  I 


Escape  from  the  Depths  159 

was  reprehensible  for  my  dereliction.  I  failed 
to  see.  That  may  have  been  part  of  my  trouble 
that  produced  the  storm  through  which  I  passed 
to  my  present  day  of  cloudless  light.” 

“Your  progress  may  not  appear  to  you  to  be 
beset  with  perils,”  I  advised,  “but  it  seems  to 
me  that  when  a  man  takes  your  position  he 
must  bring  all  his  lines  up  to  that  point.  Any 
man  who  seeks  to  make  a  practical  application 
of  Christianity  will  sooner  or  later  be  confronted 
by  trouble.  Are  you  going  on  preaching  as  you 
did  in  the  past?  What  will  you  do  with  a  one- 
half  gospel  now  since  you  have  seen  the  other 
half?  Will  you  preach  the  entire,  the  whole, 
the  full-orbed  gospel  of  Jesus  Christ?” 

“That  is  my  intention,  that  is  even  my  prac¬ 
tice  now,”  he  replied.  “Since  my  awakening  I 
find  that  the  note  I  am  seeking  to  strike  is  al¬ 
ready  in  the  air.  I  find  an  increasing  number  of 
ministers  have  seen  the  same  vision.  Like  my¬ 
self  they  have  discovered  real  and  vital  Chris¬ 
tianity.” 

“Yes,”  I  replied,  “but  the  social  note  is  ring¬ 
ing  out  of  harmony  with  the  other  scores  of  the 
gospel  music.  It  has  sought  to  usurp  the  entire 
orchestra  and  drive  all  the  other  members  out 


160  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

of  the  performance.  Are  you  in  for  harmony? 
Have  you  joined  them  in  their  social  jazz?  Or 
will  you  stand  steady  until  you  see  the  whole 
of  the  gospel  of  Christ  and  prepare  to  give  it 
unto  offending  and  heedless  men  regardless  of 
the  result  to  yourself  ?” 

“That,  of  course,  is  my  purpose/’  he  an¬ 
swered.  “I  have  passed  through  fire  and  do  not 
hesitate  to  go  farther,  even  all  the  way.” 

“You’ll  see  fire  if  you  follow  that  resolution,” 
I  assured  him.  “For  the  church  will  not  readily 
receive  the  social  message  of  the  Gospel.” 

“It  will  receive  it,”  he  responded,  “and  even 
applaud  the  preacher,  but  the  break  will  come 
when  he  seeks  to  bring  home  his  teaching  to  the 
individual  man  of  his  church  or  of  collective 
society.” 

“In  other  words,”  I  questioned,  “you  mean  to 
say,  as  long  as  the  social  gospel  is  theoretical,  it 
will  create  no  special  disturbance.  To  make  it 
otherwise  would  be  impractical.” 

“That  is  what  I  mean,”  was  his  reply.  “But 
that  places  the  church  in  a  very  embarrassing 
situation.  How  can  it  get  along  with  a  theo¬ 
retical  theology  and  a  theoretical  system  of 
practice?  It  simply  adds  another  contradictory 


Escape  from  the  Depths  161 

element  to  the  Christian  teaching  as  the  church 
now  interprets  it.” 

“What  are  you  going  to  do  about  it?”  I  in¬ 
sisted.  “When  you  come  to  deal  with  practical 
Christianity  you  are  confronted  by  the  will  of 
the  church  and  the  various  groups  taking  sanc¬ 
tuary  therein.  Your  religious  teaching  must  not 
crowd  human  selfishness  too  hard.” 

“Yes,  but  the  church  cannot  afford  to  stand 
under  an  indictment  of  inconsistency,”  he  con¬ 
tinued.  “That  is  an  offense  which  thinking  men 
do  not  readily  forget.  Those  who  see  the  truth 
must  follow  it.” 

“What  have  you  seen?”  I  answered.  “Have 
you  discovered  anything  worth  { demanding 
sacrifice?” 

“I  leave  you  to  judge  for  yourself,”  he  as¬ 
sented.  “I  have  discovered  this  as  fundamen¬ 
tal.  The  church  has  been  asking  people  to  as¬ 
sent  to  only  one  half  of  the  teaching  of 
Christ” 

“What  do  you  mean?” 

“I  mean,”  he  continued,  “that  the  test  of 
membership  made  by  the  ministers  of  the  past 
has  been  based  entirely  on  assent  to  the  theo¬ 
retical  side  of  Christianity.  That  is  only  one 


162  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

half.  They  have  presented  a  half  for  a  whole, 
and  in  a  way  deceived  the  people.  They  have 
given  them  a  stone  for  bread.  Christianity  is 
more  than  a  doctrine,  more  than  a  creed,  more 
than  an  assent.  It  is  a  code  of  action,  a  course 
of  procedure,  a  system  of  morals,  a  social  ex¬ 
pression;  it  is  a  life.  Who  can  live  it  without 
first  impeaching  the  entire  procedure  of  selfish 
existence? 

“You  startle  me,”  I  interjected.  “You  are 
traveling  along  a  dangerous  way.” 

“I  do  not  hesitate,”  he  responded.  “I  am  de¬ 
termined  what  to  do.  I  am  going  henceforth  to 
require  all  those  who  enter  the  church  under  my 
ministry  to  publicly  assent  not  only  to  the  theo¬ 
retical  creed,  but  also  to  the  social  creed  of  the 
churches.” 

“What!  Do  you  dare  to  do  that?”  I  answered 
with  alarm.  “That  is  revolutionary.  Have  you 
a  right  to  demand  assent  to  that  man-made 
social  creed?” 

“I  surely  have.  I  shall  assume  it  at  any  rate,” 
he  assured  me.  “Remember  that  the  Athana- 
sian,  the  Westminster,  and  the  Twenty-five  Ar¬ 
ticles  of  Religion  are  man-made.  They  were  not 
given  down  from  heaven  but  were  written  by  a 


Escape  from  the  Depths  163 

body  of  earnest  and  godly  men.  Was  not  the 
social  creed  so  produced?  Why  can  I  not  use 
it  with  as  much  authority  alongside  the  theo¬ 
retical  creed?  I  believe  it  can  be  done.  I  know 
the  time  has  arrived  for  it  to  be  done.” 

“You  will  stir  up  violent  opposition  by  that 
course/’  I  counseled.  “What  will  the  men  of 
wealth  in  your  church  say  who  have  not  the 
social  vision?  They  will  think  you  are  a  radical 
of  the  strictest  kind  and  early  consign  you  to 
the  junk  heap  of  ministerial  wreckage.  You 
might  as  well  face  it  now,  you  are  heading  for 
a  fall  and  a  hard  one.” 

“That  does  not  deter  me,”  he  replied  as  his 
face  hardened.  “The  church  must  play  fair  with 
those  who  come  to  her  seeking  to  become  fol¬ 
lowers  of  Jesus  Christ.  She  must  not  deceive 
them.  She  must  not  hold  back  any  of  the  teach¬ 
ing.  She  must  present  all  and  trust  Christ  to  do 
the  rest.” 

“But  will  the  rank  and  file  of  the  membership 
of  the  churches  and  those  within  the  reach  of 
its  message  accept  the  social  creed?”  I  urged 
upon  him.  “Do  they  know  'what  the  social 
creed  is?  Has  it  ever  been  explained  to  them? 
Do  many  of  them  know  it  exists?  Would  not 


164  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

hundreds  of  men  of  means  in  the  church  revolt 
if  they  were  compelled  to  assent  to  it?” 

“Perhaps  they  would,  if  they  were  not  pre¬ 
pared  for  it,”  he  assented.  “It  is  the  next  duty 
of  the  church  to  prepare  its  membership  and  its 
constituency  for  the  enlargement  of  its  creed  by 
taking  the  one  half  known  as  the  theological 
creed  and  combining  it  with  the  social  statement 
of  faith  and  make  the  two  halves  into  one 
whole  and  present  that  as  the  confession  of 
faith  of  Christendom.  When  such  a  document 
is  made  the  test  of  Christian  disci'pleship,  then 
a  new  day  will  be  announced  for  Christianity.” 

“But  that  is  the  Alps  in  the  way  of  the  prog¬ 
ress  of  world  Christianity,”  I  advised.  “Can 
they  ever  be  crossed?” 

“They  have  been,”  he  replied,  coldly.  “Chris¬ 
tianity  must,  or  fail.  I  predict  the  new  Chris¬ 
tianity  will.  Therein  lies  the  conflict  and  the 
message  of  to-morrow.  Count  me  as  one  who 
follows  the  new  way.  I  rise  to  hail  a  Christian¬ 
ity  that  has  a  creed  large  enough  to  cover  the 
entire  interest  of  human  destiny,  both  theoreti¬ 
cal  and  practical,  both  of  the  altars  and  the 
market,  both  of  the  sanctuary  and  the  roaring 
shop.  This  is  the  new  Christianity  I  have  found 


Escape  from  the  Depths  165 

and  rise  to  defend  as  opportunity  appears  on  the 
morrow.” 

“You  will  surely  have  opportunity  to  defend 
it,”  I  continued.  “It  will  not  only  take  defense 
but  much  aggressive  work  to  get  that  message 
through  to  the  modern  mind.  The  bald-top 
churchman  sitting  on  the  front  line  as  though 
all  the  responsibilities  of  modern  civilization 
rested  upon  his  shoulders  will  do  some  blinking 
when  you  make  your  proposals.” 

“Blinking!  You  have  it  right,  but  that 
scarcely  covers  the  reaction,”  he  replied. 
“Those  men,  opulent  and  complacent,  know 
little  about  conditions  outside  the  field  of  their 
own  interest.  They  are  devout  men  and  above 
reproach  in  their  private  conduct,  but  they  know 
practically  nothing  of  the  forces  now  forming 
that  threaten  the  future  of  our  social  and  re¬ 
ligious  institutions.  They  hire  their  minister  to 
run  their  church  just  as  they  do  the  heads  of  the 
different  departments  of  their  business.  They 
pay  him  a  salary,  furnish  the  funds  for  the 
budget  to  carry  out  his  program,  and  go  their 
way,  expecting  that  he  will  make  the  church  go, 
with  pews  filled  and  prayer  meeting  running  at 
high  pressure.” 


166  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher’s  Life 

I 

“That  is  commercializing  religion  at  the  nor¬ 
mal  market  price,”  I  ventured.  “Those  men 
would  not  even  make  a  good  Samaritan.  They 
would  ride  on  and  overtake  the  priest  and  hire 
him  to  go  back  and  bind  up  the  wounds  of  the 
man  who  had  suffered  at  the  hands  of  robbers.” 

“Yes,  perhaps  so,”  he  replied.  “It  is  so  easy 
if  you  have  money  to  even  hire  some  one  to  say 
your  prayers  for  you.  The  trouble  with  the  man 
of  wealth  in  the  church  to-day  is,  he  permits  his 
money  to  cheat  him  out  of  many  spiritual  bless¬ 
ings.  He  gives  his  bank  check  instead  of  giving 
himself.  The  church  wants  the  giver  as  well  as 
the  gift.  It  cannot  get  along  without  both.  He 
must  help  apply  Christianity  as  well  as  to  cher¬ 
ish  it  theoretically.  The  man  of  means  does  not 
as  yet  see  it,  but  in  the  future  he  must,  or  God 
will  turn  the  course  of  Christendom  toward  the 
dark  days  of  revolution.  I  go  to  prove  my  soul 
yet  farther,  still  farther.” 

“Is  it  as  bad  as  that?”  I  answered.  He  had 
vanished  over  the  trackless  way. 


PART  IV:  THE  LEVEL  OF 
DELIVERANCE 


“It  may  be  regarded  as  true,  to  a  very  great  extent, 
that  the  pulpit,  in  view  of  its  appointment  and  purposes, 
is  destined  to  secure  the  conversion  or  seal  the  perdition 
of  the  world.  Conformed  to  the  purpose  of  its  institu¬ 
tion  it  is  the  grand  moral  lever  of  the  world’s  elevation 
into  fellowship  with  God;  but  degraded  by  the  misdirec¬ 
tion  and  imbecility  of  improper  incumbents  it  is  annihilat¬ 
ing  piecemeal  the  energies  of  the  church,  baffling  the 
benevolence  of  Heaven  and  throwing  millions  of  the  hu¬ 
man  family  forward  upon  ages  both  of  delusion  and 
crime.” 


Henry  Bascom. 


Part  IV:  The  Level  of 
Deliverance 

When  one  comes  to  reflect  on  the  critical 
hours  of  a  minister’s  life,  the  hemispheric  nature 
of  the  realm  in  which  he  dwells  must  not  be  for¬ 
gotten.  On  the  one  hand  is  the  region  where 
extraordinary  sins  proclaim  the  presence  of  the 
rude,  outbreaking,  violent  transgressor.  On  the 
other  is  the  realm  of  spiritual  realities  which  is 
closed  to  him  only  as  he  penetrates  it  with  the 
spirit  of  the  will-to-conquer.  He  would  not  will¬ 
ingly  or  knowingly  enter  the  former.  It  is  al¬ 
ways  in  sight  and  its  ugliness  is  to  him  an  im¬ 
passable  barrier.  Being  wise,  he  knows  colos¬ 
sal  sins  will  not  attack  him  unawares.  He  fears 
not  the  great  drives  of  the  dramatic  crimes. 
They  will  not  attack  his  citadel.  His  fear  is  of 
the  minute  faults,  the  petty  selfishness,  the  little 
flint  stones  of  meannesses  that  slip  out  from  the 
byways  and  hedges  of  the  realm  of  wickedness 
and  harass  the  pathway  of  the  man  who  seeks 

to  do  the  will  of  God  on  the  highest  levels. 

169 


170  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

These  are  his  peril.  These  threaten  him  with 
tragedy.  No  less  uncertain  is  his  relation  to  the 
spiritual  realm.  It  requires  of  him  the  constant 
possession  and  exercise  of  the  resolution  for  con¬ 
quest.  He  must  be  an  explorer  in  regions  where 
only  the  soul  can  find  its  way  by  means  of  the 
inventive  and  constructive  imagination,  which, 
being  followed  and  supported  by  the  diversion 
of  reason,  finds  its  work  accredited  and  pro¬ 
nounced  worthy  rational  consideration.  In 
these  searchings  after  God  the  mind  does  not 
proceed  far  until  the  highway  over  which  Jesus 
of  Nazareth  traveled  is  sighted.  It  becomes  at 
once  a  thoroughfare  in  the  spiritual  realm  that 
leads  unmistakably  unto  the  dwelling  place  of 
God.  In  that  unbroken  realm  to  one  who  ex¬ 
plores  and  discovers  stand  out  two  centers, 
Jesus  Christ  and  the  Holy  Spirit.  When  these 
are  located  and  accepted  as  contacts  and  topo¬ 
graphical  units  the  spiritual  realm  takes  form 
and  becomes  charted  for  the  free  travel  of  the 
human  understanding  and  for  the  unabated  sat¬ 
isfaction  of  the  soul  in  its  insatiable  aspirations 
for  an  eternal  and  boundless  career.  When 
therefore  it  is  announced  in  a  man’s  religious 
consciousness  that  he  has  found  Jesus  Christ, 


The  Level  of  Deliverance  171 

that  he  has  discovered  the  Holy  Spirit,  it  is  like 
the  proclamation  of  a  sighting  of  outlying  con¬ 
tinents  in  the  wide  stretches  of  a  shoreless  sea. 
Until  this  is  accomplished  a  man  is  without  di¬ 
rection  upon  entering  the  spiritual  world.  He 
is  perplexed  in  a  sphere  without  a  zodiac.  The 
depression  prohibits  thought  and  shatters  his 
sense  of  reality.  Witness  the  bewilderment  of 
those  proposing  a  course  out  into  the  vastnesses 
of  the  spiritual  order  who  have  not  discovered 
Jesus  Christ  and  located  the  Holy  Ghost.  They 
travesty  the  sacred  and  the  most  holy.  They 
are  but  sailors  who  brave  the  salt  of  the  waves 
and  the  biting  winds  that  blow  about  the  seques¬ 
tered  harbors  of  time  and  return  posing  as  sea¬ 
faring  men. 

To  a  man  having  entered  the  ministry 
achievements  wrought  by  Jesus  Christ  and  the 
Holy  Spirit  become  epochal.  They  announce 
the  inauguration  of  a  ministry  reborn.  The 
course  which  it  is  to  pursue  is  outlined  with  un¬ 
varying  certainty.  Through  it  men  come  to 
know  not  only  God  through  Christ  but  God  in 
Christy  and  recognize  the  claim  that  both  these 
statements  must  be  true  and  are  related  as  the 
halves  of  a  circle.  For  the  new-born  minister 


172  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

comes  to  experience  and  to  teach  not  only  jaith 
in  Christ  but  belief  with  Christ .  In  this  is  the 
great  Christian  urgency.  Having  believed  in 
him ,  as  a  means  of  escape  from  the  ruinous  ef¬ 
fects  of  wrong-doing,  this  minister  urges  for¬ 
ward  by  constant  insistence  faith  with  Jesus 
Christ.  Failure  at  this  point  threatens  betrayal. 
All  men  who  come  to  believe  in  him  as  Lord  and 
Saviour  must  forge  forward  until  they  believe 
with  him ,  accept  what  he  believes  about  God 
and  his  love,  hell,  heaven,  sin  and  salvation, 
human  destiny  and  brotherhood,  selfishness  and 
sacrifice,  mercy  and  forgiveness,  money-lender 
and  tax  gatherer,  Levite  and  Samaritan,  life 
and  death.  To  this  minister  the  preeminent 
question  is  always,  What  did  Christ  believe? 
Having  apprehended  this,  he  emphasizes  it  with 
the  intention  of  making  it  his  own  faith  and 
the  burden  of  his  message.  When  he  grasps  the 
significance  of  this  truth  he  enters  a  new  en¬ 
vironment  with  divine  amplification,  and  dis¬ 
covers  hitherto  untapped  sources  of  power  for 
his  ministry.  He  comes  to  dwell  in  a  world  of 
new  facts  that  make  human  experience  a  spirit¬ 
ual  laboratory.  He  is  confronted  by  enticing 
mysteries.  He  is  held  in  his  own  heart  by  the 


The  Level  of  Deliverance  173 

mystery  of  a  great  deliverance.  This  trans¬ 
forms  for  him  darkness  into  light,  despair  into 
victorious  hope  and  prostration  of  spirit  into 
buoyancy  and  vigor.  So  great  becomes  the 
transformation  wrought  in  him  that  he  considers 
himself  to  have  been  spiritually  born  again.  A 
new  attitude  is  thrust  upon  him  toward  the  pain 
and  suffering,  the  harshness  and  injustice,  self¬ 
ishness  and  misery,  hate  and  vindictiveness, 
blindness  and  doubt,  of  the  world.  Before  these 
he  seemed  to  have  found  no  way  of  escape.  He 
receives  a  proclamation  of  deliverance.  He  ob¬ 
tains  knowledge  of  the  sources  of  reserve  power 
that  enables  his  spirit  to  successfully  maintain 
its  resistance.  Having  gone  on  a  voyage  of 
spiritual  discovery,  he  returned  with  the  claim 
that  on  the  practical  level  under  a  pragmatic 
test,  he  had  found  that  Christianity  means 
mainly  three  things,  the  believers ’  loyalty  in  re¬ 
lation  to  Christy  the  believers’  intellectual  ac¬ 
ceptance  of  him,  and  the  believers’  resolution  to 
stand  with  him . 

Thus  being  thoroughly  prepared  and 
equipped  for  his  ministry  he  waits  not  upon  the 
tides  and  seasons.  With  a  positive  message  he 
essays  to  go  forth.  In  the  open  he  appears  with- 


174  Critical  Hours  in  Preacher  s  Life 

out  fear  or  pause.  He  is  not  as  one  standing  at 
a  window  looking  gloomily  out  as  though  ex¬ 
pecting  some  dreadful  happening.  He  has  a 
full  radiance  as  of  one  refreshed  and  reborn. 
The  repose  of  serenity  conceals  a  large  degree  of 
confidence  in  an  unyielding  and  conquering 
power.  He  is  at  the  last  analysis  a  minister 
whom  spiritual  tragedy  threateningly  drove  to 
Calvary,  where  despondency  gave  way  to  re¬ 
birth,  where  the  low  tides  of  enthusiasm  for 
struggling  humanity  began  again  to  rise,  and 
where  a  dominating  faith  in  the  ultimate  tri¬ 
umph  of  the  love  of  God  proclaimed  a  perma¬ 
nent  victory  for  all  those  who  love  Christ  with 
the  ardor  of  a  great  affection. 


FINIS 


Date  Due 

f) 

PRINTED 

IN  U.  S.  A. 

